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Hi Halo20 and welcome to the forum,
Everyone on this forum has been affected by alcohol and substance abuse. Either our loved ones or some people in recovery who offer wonderful advice to others.
I totally sympathise with you, im in a similar situation as my son is 27, been dabbling for 10 years, moved out but admitted (although we suspected) he had addiction to alcohol which then triggers cocaine.
Such a rollercoaster of emotions and so stressful for all involved.
Does he live alone?
I’m fortunate my son is still working, lockdown working has been a godsend.
We also paid off big debts last year, but said no more. He’s clean atm but gets anxious and fidgety come payday. All well so far.
Please don’t get stressed out , take time out for yourselves or you’ll go insane.
Don’t give him cash for anything. I usually buy groceries and cigs if I have to. Have a look at the Theresa thread…there are about 6 of us mums with sons with addictions. Its great to have the support they are lovely people even though they are heartbroken too.
The forum has a a support homepage and the Icarus trust offers support too.
No need to feel alone in this nightmare.
Always here to chat
Lx
Lots of positivity today ladies.
I’m so pleased that your sons are gaining strength to fight their individual battles. Its been a good few days for us . God bless St Jude!
Yes Bump, it is a rollercoaster, lots of ups and downs.
Jaynhissay – keep up the good work, we’re all proud of you!
Ivy thinking of you and your son and hoping your situation improves.
Payday tomorrow..fingers crossed!
Take care all
Lxx
Hi ladies,
On lunch break..
Great news bump! The power of prayer, poor St Jude will be on overtime on this forum answering our prayers.
All good here too , so far so good..
Payday is looming…trying to be positive.
Thinking of you all
Lxx
Hi ladies, been catching up on your posts.
I agree Ivy, a lot of people with addictions improved with lockdown. I know my brother did….he doesn’t think he has a drink problem though. I hope someone is looking out for your son and that he seeks help.
Personally I’ve gone off alcohol somewhat ..probably because I see what it can do to some people.
Spoke to my elderly mother tonight who’s quite spiritual.
Apparently it’s St Judes feast day today. Patron saint of homeless people and desperate causes.
I hope hes well listening…
Bump…i hope your situation improves, still keeping you in my thoughts.
Sending hugs
Lxx
Bump your son is so lucky to have a supportive family and good friends. Its what he needs.
But you also need some time for yourself and your young lad.
I know my daughter needs extra attention when we’re stressed out with stuff that goes on.
I hope you have a nice break with your family and try and switch off
Take care ❤
Lx
Hi Jem
Thanks for your message. I totally agree with you, it’s great to have this wee support group. You all sound like such lovely people, something positive out of something negative!
Yes, fingers crossed, so far so good, echoing Debc comments, enjoying quality time.
I’m still praying for us and our boys, thank goodness I have my faith and you guys.
I was thinking about Theresa, I hope her situation has improved.
Great to have Jaynhissay on board with us too.
Jenny and Bump, thinking and praying for you and your sons in particular. You are both so strong.
I’m back at work too, but at least it’s a distraction, and other folk to talk too(not this stuff though!)
Thanks for being there.
Lxx
Jaynhissay – you should be very proud of yourself, your mum will be too.
Ivy – I understand your situation better now. I agree that more should be done in Scotland to help people with addictions.
I feel more empathy for people on the street now, as my son could just as easy relapse badly and lose everything he’s worked hard for.
At least you have an outlet here and people who listen to you.
I hope you manage to get some sleep. Take care,
Lx
Hi Ivy
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been and you still are a good mum. You can do no more. Its totally down to him now.
If he has a phone, text and let him know that you’re worried about him, but you’re not there to fund his addiction.
Have you read the Theresa thread here – there are about 6 of us mums, all with sons with addictions. There are mums in the same situation as you are , at the moment . There is also Jaynhissay, who is turning life around as a person with addiction. Giving lots of advice and support to the thread, which we as mums
appreciate .
Please don’t despair, be strong, have faith and don’t give up. A person with addiction can turn their life around, but only when they themselves realise that they are powerless and need help and support.
This covid situation is compounding matters too. Find time for you. Don’t make yourself ill with worry, look at some useful apps, like 5 min meditation, headspace, a walk in the park if it’s sunny, or even rainy!
If you need to chat , there’s always great support here.
Take care of you
Lxx
Debc, I was thinking the same.
Some things are meant to be.
There are good people in this world.
Lx
Bump i have nothing but admiration for you. You and your family have been through so much. You are so strong, I don’t know how I would’ve coped in your situation .
Hopefully if he’s sleeping in comfort tonight it will inspire him to see the light, and ask for help.
Try and be good to yourself tonight, enjoy being with the rest of your family. Don’t think too far ahead, concentrate on the now.
I was stressed to the max 2 weeks ago due to my son, he’s turned it around, im happy with that for the moment.
Take care, thinking and praying for you always
Lxx
Bump, so pleased for you , I’ve been worried for you. The power of prayer. At least he’s alive, I really hope he sees the light and seeks help for everyone’s sake and mental health.
Thinking of you all
Lxx
Hi Jem,
I’m so pleased for you that she’s home and nothing too serious, that’s a relief for you all.
My son has been cold turkey, attending meetings, meeting with new sponsor. Went back to work, ironically, his work is good and he’s getting a rise. Good news. So he’s quite optimistic and calm for now. Pay day next week, so fingers crossed that he’ll keep up the good work.
I feel I’m constantly on eggshells, but I’m trying to focus on the ‘now ‘ not what might happen!
I’m so thankful for this forum and the fact I can speak openly to others who understand and offer support.
Enjoy what’s left of the weekend, where lockdown allows of course.
Take care
Lx
Jem, hope that your mum is okay,
My parents are both well into their 80s. Its a worry when they take ill.
You look after yourself too.
Lxx
Bump, ive been thinking and praying for you and your son. I hope you managed to get some rest.
Today’s a new day, hopefully police will locate your son.
Take care and stay strong.
Lxx
I feel so bad for you Ivy.
Please don’t feel guilty, he’s a grown man who has made these choices. Maybe this is the rock bottom they say an addict has to reach before they seek help.
I hope and pray that he’s fine and will seek help.
There are a lot of AA meetings in and around Glasgow, even some face to face ones.
When my son was desperate, he contacted them. But it has to be their decision..to admit that they have a problem and need help.
I hope you hear from him soon, give him food and water, no cash.
Stay strong and have faith Ivy
Take care of you.
Lx