Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Debc and thank you Bump too
I’ve settled a bit, I do 5 min meditation and they’re good.
I remember when my son was working through the 12 steps, there’s a point where they have to apologise to the people they’ve hurt during their addiction.
So he knows…hes just forgotten, like you say, the addictions turn them into selfish, manipulating liars. The drugs actually desensitise them, he told me that too..
I hope and pray that our boys see sense soon, courage, hope and strength, I think thats the motto for them,
Good night and God Bless Ladies
Take care ❤
Lx
Thanks Bump, your kind words mean a lot. Even as I’m sitting here my heart is jumping out my chest. Must be anxiety I think.
I tried to say it was hell for us too, and he really didn’t get what I meant.
We’ll see what happens tomorrow.
Hopefully we’ll all sleep tonight.
Take care and thank you again Bump
Lx
Well, its all kicking off tonight.!
I had a nice relaxing day with my hubby, a nice trip in car to a coastal town, nice walk along the beach.
On the way back, my son phoned. He mentioned about owing money to some scumbag dealer. Needs it urgently blah blah. I said speak later, hes just left our house tonight yelling and bawling at us saying he needs to pay this guy or he’ll come looking for him.
After last month, we said we weren’t gonna do it again.
I said about looking after his account/bank cards etc. He went crazy, saying we’re not helping him . He left saying he’ll be beat up now. I can’t do this anymore, I cried most of yesterday, my heart is pounding out my chest, my daughter’s upset. Where’s it gonna end if we have to bail him out all the time.
Have we done the right thing by saying no, until he gives us some kind of commitment?
He’s away back to his flat now.
Sorry ladies, not a great start to the weekend is it?
Lx
Hi Bump22
Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it, and your kind words of support.
I think he would be willing to try some kind of counselling or rehab but it’s so expensive. It might not even work.
Our sons are a worry, you feel helpless seeing them so tormented. At least your son is safe and he’s in contact albeit for cash. We don’t give ours cash either.
I agree about the lack of support for addictions from the government, it IS a mental health issue after all.
As parents we can only do what we can for them, but also take care of our own health and well-being.
Take care Bump, hope you have a good weekend and be good to yourself.
Lx
I could maybe suggest that Debc, he’s had so many sick days though. Mentioning that he has an addiction has such a stigma attached to it. I don’t know how the company would view it, if they were aware of the real circumstances. They might not want him on the team.
Hopefully we’ll all get a good sleep tonight.
Thanks again Debc take care,
Lx
Thanks for your reply Debc. I really appreciate it.
He has such a good job, if he did rehab, I expect he’d have to leave it. He looked so tormented tonight, it broke my heart seeing him like that.
If he left his job for it, he’d need to give up his flat i expect , i have no idea how it works.
I think he’s at the stage where he needs to do something before it destroys him completely.
Thanks again for your kind words.
Lx
Hi Jem, thanks for your reply, it really means a lot especially hearing from other mums in the same boat or similar.
Yes, its difficult, I keep getting flashbacks to happier days when he was a sweet little sensitive lad.
Its upsetting to see him so tormented by this evil addiction.
How did you get your counselling, through doctor? I’m in UK.
Lx
Hi again ladies
I’m having a bad day, feeling low. Burst into tears a couple of times already today.
To cut a long story short son is missing work days because of alcohol and drugs. He’s really struggling and so are we (hubby and i) I’m seriously considering going private for counselling or rehab. I have no clue how to go about it. If they had a physical illness, you would try anything right?? I’m concerned for his psychological wellbeing as well as the addictions. Im trying to hold it together for the rest of the family.
All this covid stuff is compounding everything too.
Sorry to whinge, I know so many on this forum are a lot worse off than me. Just gonna have to put my big girl pants on and deal with it I guess!
I’d be grateful any advice.
Hope all is well with you guys. Big hugs to you all.
Lx
Girl next-door
I wish I could be there right now to give you a hug and help and support you.
I wanted you to know that there is hope for you. There is support and help out there if you look for it.
Covid has changed a lot of situations, but people still get help when they need it. I don’t think you should be on your own just now.
Have you tried calling the Samaritans? Or even the adfam homepage, I think you should seek help immediately , your children need you and you need to be healthy in mind and body to take care of them.
Please don’t struggle on your own any longer and go and seek help immediately.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Be strong, if not for yourself , for your children.
Lx
Thank you all ladies for your words if support. I can’t thank you enough, especially when I know you’re going through your own challenges.
Bump – I’m glad you met your son and it was fine for a bit, we know that he doesn’t mean to be aggressive, its the drugs that’s affecting their logic. It numbs their senses.
Jenny- sorry to hear that you suspect your son is stealing. Again, its the drugs, he’s not thinking straight, he’s been desensitised by them. You always have to sleep with one eye open, and looking over your shoulder all the time, don’t you?
I agree with you, by bailing him out every time, we’re enabling him. I’ll mention it to my hubby about taking his card or transferring his money. Unfortunately last time he bullied us into submission for it!
Debc – nice to hear from you too. I’m glad to hear your son is still drug free. Yes, they do see to find another outlet eg clothes. I think my son has ocd, whatever he does, it’s 100%. Can’t get counselling -doc says until he’s 6 months clean.
Again thank you all, I think we have a great support network here. Take care, big hugs to you all.
Lx
Thanks for your reply Jem.
I tried to sleep, but got up again.
Yeah, I’ll probably do that, i hope you’re right and its just a blip.
I hope so too
Take care ????
Lx
Hi guys
Well, I spoke too soon. Here we go again, son relapsed again at the weekend. He lives in his own flat, he left us early on Friday night.
Spoke to him yesterday and he admitted it.
I’ve got that sinking feeling again, we’re gonna have to bail him out for 2 or 3 weeks until payday.
It’s happening just about every month now. I feel like we’ve been taken for a couple of mugs again.
Him manipulating and getting everything he wants then, as soon as he’s paid …..back to his alcohol and whatever else.
It’s getting so predictable now, im dreading what’s coming next.
I do hope your sons are all doing better and giving you some peace of mind just now.
God give me strength!
Sorry needed to vent!
Lx
Gggg, welcome to the forum, your sister is very lucky to have family who worries about her and her situation.
Good advice from Debc, we all have someone we care about who is struggling with addiction.
Unfortunately I don’t have all the answers, but there’s help and support available for you. Please dont feel alone in this or your sister.
I hope your sister gets the help and support she needs.
Lx
Hi Jsnicker7
Welcome to the forum. I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself. You’ve made a good start so far, you’ve joined the forum and admitted that you have an alcohol problem!
I understand that things have been difficult for you and that alcohol is not helping, but is probably making things worse for you.
I’m sorry to hear that you lost your mum, that must be hard for you.
You’ll find lots of support and advice from others on the forum, read the other threads too. Don’t be alone with your troubles.
I have a son your age who has cocaine and alcohol addictions.
So I know every day is a struggle for you.
I would suggest you see your doctor and let them know how you’re feeling. My son went along/or online to AA meetings, you’ll meet people going through the same issues and perhaps get a contact or sponsor who will help you through the program they do.
I think it will be a comfort for you to know you’re not alone.
I’m sure that once you get the help you need everything else will fall into place for you.
Stay strong and remember to seek advice and support.
I wish you well
Lx
Hi Looley
Sorry to read about your situation.
I’m sure you’ve already warned him that this was a dangerous situation and it could have been much worse.
I think you need to confront him about the consequences of his actions. If he’s making these choices now, I’d be worried that he would try harder drugs next.
How old is he? If he’s younger, you might be able to nip it in the bud, if hes older, and working, you could perhaps say if he continues this behaviour, he’ll have to look for somewhere else to stay. Either way, I’d be making a stand.
My son has been dabbling since he was 15, it’s escalated to cocaine and hes now 28. It’s been a nightmare these last 13yrs.
I wish I’d noticed earlier, so many lies, manipulating, selling stuff.
I wish you well, read the other threads, there are many mums with sons with addictions.
Take care
Lx