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Hi Jennifer
Good to hear from you but sorry to hear that things have not improved with your son’s addiction.
You’ll see from earlier in the thread, my son has the same issues as yours. Over a year ago, he admitted to us that he’s been struggling. He attended AA and CA meetings, did the 12 steps, got a sponsor, it was going great until he met a girl with alcohol addiction and she drove him to relapses.
However in the last month, he has ditched the gf, and reached out to us. He had to, he was getting to rock bottom. So things are going well just now, he’s contacted his sponsor attending online/face to face meetings now. Not drinking at all, as this is the main trigger, paid off a chunk of his drug debts. (Lockdown has been good for his Job, as he would have been sacked otherwise) He’s been clean for a month now.
Sorry if I’ve been talking about my situation, but I wanted you to know that it’s possible to get clean without rehab sometimes.
It’s really up to them, until they decide themselves that they need help and seek it. I know he went to to doc first and got medication (dunno what though)
In the meantime, you try to take care of yourself. Google 5min meditation, go out walking, find something that makes you happy.
Maybe confide in a close friend, read the other threads, people on this forum are so supportive and friendly.
Feel free to chat, I check in daily.
Be strong and keep your chin up,
I’m sure he’ll come round soon.
Take care
Lx
Hi all, I’ve missed you guys
I was thinking the same. Our boys must be doing well or better anyway.
Jem : -So pleased for you, great news 6 weeks clean!! Long may it continue.
Bump : Good news about the supported living. Im sure he’ll come round again, he’s probably still getting his head together, no news is good news sometimes.
Jenny: hope the bedsit works out at least he’s being a bit sociable.
My son has been clean 3 weeks!
Even since payday- seems to be managing although I know the 12 steps are hard going cold turkey and all. We’re seeing him regularly so I can see how he’s doing.
Take care everyone ❤
Fingers crossed this positivity lasts.
Lx
Carole 1966
I’m so sorry for your loss. Words can’t express how sorry I am.
Our children are a constant worry from the moment they are born.
As they get older, they make there own choices in the world and unfortunately we have no control over this.
I think you should have some form of counselling for your loss. There is a bereavement thread, perhaps the Forum homepage or Icarus trust may offer help and support.
Please don’t feel alone in this sad and difficult time.
Thinking and praying for you.
Lx
Hi Looley and welcome to the forum.
I am also the mother of a 28yr son with alcohol and cocaine addictions. I totally sympathise with you, it’s a very difficult and stressful situation. Everyone on this forum has a loved one who is struggling with addictions, so we understand how you feel.
I don’t have all the answers unfortunately but if you read the other threads, there’s good advice and support from other mums, people in recovery and the forum offers advice and support on the home page.
My son lives independently, but he’s currently clean, and attending AA and CA meetings online. They introduce newcomers to the 12 steps and organise a sponsor.
Your son is still young yet, i wouldn’t give him any cash, but make sure he’s eating well., and staying away from negative influences. The Icarus trust may give you help too.
I hope and pray that you both get the support you need.
Always here to chat,
Take care
Lx
Hi Idait
Welcome to the forum, I totally sympathise with you, as will most people here.
At least you know you can vent and people will understand what you are going through as most of us have been there too.
I’m in same position as Debc, my son is also a cocaine and alcohol addict. He has also been dabbling for 10 years.
This addiction affects the whole family and you feel you can’t talk to friends of family about it.
Its a rollercoaster of emotions, and its like walking on eggshells.
It begins and ends with him, nothing will change until he takes the first step.
AA and CA meetings are very supportive as are the info on the forum homepage. Read the other threads lots of helpful advice.
Don’t give up hope, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. My son has had relapses but is currently clean 2/3 weeks and attending meetings online and contacting his sponsor.
Celebrate these successes, …baby steps , one day at a time.
I hope you get the help and support you both need.
Debc – I’m glad to hear things are going well for you and your son.
Lx
Lx
Hi Ahlags and welcome to the forum.
I’m so sorry to read your story and wanted to let you know that you are no alone. Everyone on this forum has been affected by alcohol or substance abuse in some way. Either their loved one, or there are some recovering addicts who share advice and support too.
I found myself wanting to vent when my son had relapsed. He takes alcohol and cocaine. The alcohol is a trigger for drugs, so really it should be avoided at all costs.
Read the other stories, “share your stories ” then click back to 15th September. There’s some good advice and support. The Forum home page is helpful and the Icarus Trust posts here also.
I wish I had all the answers for you, but your bf will have to admit he has a problem then attend/go online to the aa or ca meetings. He’ll be meeting others in the same situation and others who are years clean who offer help and support.
I hope and pray you both get the support you seek.
Take care of yourself
Lx
Hi Tinker and welcome to the forum,
I’m so sorry to read your story and I wanted you to know that you are not alone and there is lots of help and advice on this forum.
If you read the other threads, there are people who are going through similar emotions with their loved one’s addictions.
There is also good advice from people in recovery who can tell you what the usual cycle is from an addicts point.
The forum also has help available on their homepage and the Icarus trust. Unfortunately I don’t have all the answers, but I wanted you to know that people care and want to help you.
My son has addictions to alcohol and cocaine and I know from personal experience what it can do to a family.
Look after yourself first and foremost and your children and accept all the help and support you can. Don’t be alone in this nightmare, things will get better, but it definitely begins and ends with the choices that your partner makes.
I hope you both get the help and support you seek.
Always here to chat.
Take care
Lx
Hi Hollybush
It’s so good to hear some positive news and that you’ve taken some steps for a better life.
I do hope things are looking up for you as you certainly deserve to have some happiness.
Take care of yourself,
We’re always here to chat if you need to.
Lx
Hi Holly and Frankie
I’m so sorry to read your stories, its my son who has the addiction and he lives on his own fortunately.
I wondered if the Icarus trust could offer you advice and support? They often put up posts on this forum,. Also the other threads are very supportive and informative.
You are both good mums, a person with addictions will always blame you. It begins and ends with them totally. They are making these choices and until they seek help, you’ll be going round in circles i’m afraid.
Please look after your own bodies and minds and your children first and foremost.
Take care, always here to chat.
Lx
Hi all
Fitz, welcome to the forum. Im so sorry to hear of your troubles. You’re in good company here as we all have a loved one with substance abuse addiction.
I hope you find the advice and support you need, either from others here, or the forum home page.
I wish you well.
Debc , just to say it’s been a good two weeks. Son is attending meetings again and spoken to sponsor. Fingers crossed ????
Hopefully you’re having a peaceful time too.
Lx
Spottydog, on a more positive note , 4 weeks ago I was really upset and sad with my sons behaviour. Fortunately in the last two weeks, he’s been in aa and ca online and a a couple of face to face meetings. He’s been in contact with his original sponsor and it’s good at the moment.
Fingers crossed it will continue.
It’s so difficult, as you feel you’re walking on eggshells most of the time.
I’ve learned a lot on the forum, people are so helpful and friendly.
Check out Danman83 posts. He’s is a person in recovery and gives a lot of good advice.
I find little 5 minutes of meditation in Google resets me, for the day or night.
I hope you find the peace and support you need.
Take care
Lx
Hi Holly Bush
Welcome to the forum. I was sorry to read your story and your husband’s addiction.
Its an emotional rollercoaster when a loved one has an addiction. It consumes them and changes them into someone you don’t recognise. I know this from experience as my son has an addiction too.
There’s lots of advice and support here. Read the other threads and stories , i read one similar to yours on the 15th September, Danman83 replied and gave some really good advice.
The forum also has advice and support on the home page.
I wish you well, take care of yourself first and foremost.
Lx
Hi all
Welcome to the forum Pineapple
I’ve been reading your post, just to let you know that you’re not alone in this. As Debc says, read the other threads too, you’ll get advice and support from others in the same or similar circumstances.
It is vicious cycle, and its very frustrating, and your emotions will be up and down constantly.
What I will say is, look after yourself first and foremost. Google out some 5min meditations, look into Mindfulness, take pleasure in the little things.
My son has restarted his online and face to face aa and ca meetings. So fingers crossed he won’t lapse again on payday.
Take care
Lx
Irchem
I have also said ‘lost him to the devil’ on many occasions about my son.
Fortunately he’s starting meetings again and speaking to his sponsor regularly so that gives me hope.
It’s easier to help them when they’re trying to help themselves.
It is an illness and every day is a battle for them, but you also have to do what’s best for your situation as everyone’s is different.
I hope you and Heartbroken find the peace and happiness you need.
Take care
Lx
Hi Float
Welcome to the forum.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had such a tough time with your relationships due to addiction.
It really does affect the rest of the family, and your emotions will be all over the place.
My circumstances are different as in , it’s my adult son with the addiction. I would suggest that you read the other threads from wives of addicts who have children. You can get a lot of help and and advice from others. Also, there are recovering addicts who are very helpful too
The forum’s homepage can give you advice and support.
At least he tried rehab, so he’s admitted he needs help, and that’s good. Unfortunately addicts can relapse off and on, as we found out with my son after he was clean for 3 months.
First and foremost look after yourself and your children. You can still support your partner, but at least you might be better advised if you get support.
I hope this helps
Take care
Lx