[lindyloo]

Hi all

Bump, that’s brilliant news!

You must be so relieved that your son has been given this chance, and at least you’ll know where he is and that he will be safe. That’s all you want as a mum isn’t it?

Jem, yes son is doing okay just now, but I’m still worried about pay day. But I’ll try and focus on what’s happening now…that’s mindfulness for you! So fortunately things are going well just now, fingers crossed ????

Hope you all have a good weekend!

Lx

[lindyloo]

Hi Spottydog

Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to read your sad post. If you read the other threads, you’ll realise that we’re all affected in different ways by our loved one’s addictions.

Its so difficult to talk to anyone as you feel a sense of shame.

I don’t have all the answers unfortunately, but there’s a lot of good advice and support from others in similar circumstances.

The priority is you and supporting your children. So sad that they have been affected. I know my daughter is affected by my son’s behaviour with drink and drugs, it gets her down but she’s a bit older.

I hope you all get the help and support you need soon.

Take care

Lx

[lindyloo]

Jem thanks for info about bank app. My son buys off scumbag dealers and runs up big debts unfortunately. Im glad it works for you though.

Youll be glad of the break and I’m sure your son will enjoy the change. Fingers crossed for you.

Bump, ive been thinking and praying for you, positive thoughts!

My son’s playing nice so far, doing meetings etc, staying clean so far.

Pay day next week..positive thoughts…

Sleep well everyone

Lx

[lindyloo]

I think its good to have some extra contact with him. Eg Skype, video call. At least you would see him and see how he’s coping.

Perhaps look into what support is available for him should he ask for it, at least you’ll be prepared.

There are people in recovery on this forum too, Perhaps they could suggest some help.

Danman83 suggested some podcasts and videos from recovering addicts. I’m sure he could google them. Online NA or C A meetings would help too. He’d meet others in the same situation.

Its a worry when it’s your child, but let him know you’re here to try to help as best you can.

Sending you hugs

Lx

[lindyloo]

Hi Irchem,

It must have been very difficult to make that choice to leave the relationship. As you said, hes been given so many chances to change and seek help.

Its very exhausting having a loved one with an addiction. My husband and i are mentally ,emotionally, physically and financially worn out supporting our son, for years.

Your health and well-being is important, you can’t have him drag you down any longer.

In my opinion you have done the right thing, you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

At least you tried, and you can hold your head high, knowing that you tried.

I wish you well for your future and I hope your bf seeks and gets the support he needs to get on with his life.

Take care

Lx

[lindyloo]

Hi Allyb

It must have come as a shock to you. Most of us have seen the tell tale sign of substance abuse in our sons/daughters. Never having any money, bad debts, loss of interest in hobbies, different friends, bit unkempt, change of attitude usually a bad one!

Its so difficult , as you see your child making all these bad choices and because they’re adults, you can’t really stop them.

Maybe he is just starting out, he might be able to stop it. He needs ti admit he has a problem first, and seek help on this forum or CA or NA meetings online or face to face where possible.

Read the other threads here, there is so much support and advice from others. I think he needs to be frank with you, addicts are such good liars and manipulators.

Hopefully he wil see sense and seek help, it has to be his decision though. Then you can support him as best you can.

Hope this helps. Take care and try not to worry, look after yourself.

Lx

[lindyloo]

Jem …even!

[lindyloo]

Thanks Gem, me too.

Sorry I’m such a tech dinosaur…

how does the bank app work?

Lx

[lindyloo]

Hi all, I’ve been reading the thread and Bump I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles with your son.

I hope the girls information and advice will help you and your family.

My son also had a loving upbringing and a decent home.

I also feel sorry for his younger sister who has had to put up with seeing her mum and dad upset and walking about on edge all the time. It’s not fair is it?

Hopefully there is good news for you soon, we have to stay strong and remain positive.

My son is playing nice for the moment but payday is next week .

I’m staying positive that he’ll pay off his debts and go to his meetings.

Meanwhile you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Lx

[lindyloo]

Bump- so sorry to hear that your son is putting your family through this heartache. So hard to make this decision, it was very brave to stand firm. Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind. I do hope he sees sense and seeks the help he needs.

I’ll be thinking and praying for you.

Lx

[lindyloo]

Hi February Marie,

I’m sorry I’ve just noticed your post. You were so kind to me when I first posted.

Your son’s situation is very similar to my son’s more recently. We dont hear from him when he gets paid (functioning addict). That’s a bad sign to us. Sometimes we think….no news is good news.

But what happened was he went on a right bender, was really ill, apparently had terrible withdrawal and had to get medication fro. Doctors.

Do you know if your son is still in hospital? You’d think you would be his emergency contact and they’d have to contact you if he was really ill?

I wonder if he’s in a frame of mind to seek help after all this? Such a worry for you, there are so many other mums on this forum chatting and sharing (mostly sons who have addictions)

Have you read the other threads?

There’s also some good advice from recovering addicts. The forum has help and support available too.

Try to look after yourself, you are a good mum, our sons are making these poor choices, until they admit they have a problem and actually seek help, there’s not much more you can do.

Try some mindfulness apps, or 5 minute meditations, or headspace app. Find pleasure in little simple things, takes your mind of the rubbish stuff.

Always here if you need to vent.

Take care, be strong

Lx

[lindyloo]

Hu Anniemac

Welcome to the forum.

We all share the same common ground, we have a loved one who is addicted to alcohol or drugs.

Unfortunately I don’t have all the answers, but read the other threads and there’s advice and support on the home page.

My son admitted he had a problem when things got worse. He took part in a lot of AA meetings and CA meetings. He’ll meet others who are trying to stop, and if he’s serious about it, he’ll get a sponsor and they’ll go through the 12 steps…Google it.

There are some addicts in recovery on this forum.

Danman83 and BT1978 are really helpful giving advice too. Read their threads too.

I wish you and your partner well, but first and foremost he has to admit he needs help, and is willing to seek help .

Good luck Lx

[lindyloo]

Debc ,

Thanks for your message.

Great news about your son starting back.

Yes, hopefully the meetings will be successful.

Thanks again for your support.

Take care ????

Lx

[lindyloo]

Jem, im so glad to hear you’re getting a break. We only went away for the weekend, but it was really relaxing. Taking in the views and enjoying the sunshine.

Take pleasure in the little things I always say.

Night all

Lx

[lindyloo]

Bump lol

Nice to have a bit silliness in our lives!

Lx

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