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Hi Debc
Hope things are well with you.
I’ve been chatting on another thread to Theresa and other nice ladies going through troubles due to their sons’ addictions.
I’ve told them my son contacted me for cigs and groceries. He told me hes been through a lot of difficult withdrawals.
Fortunately the exgf is out the picture.
He suggested meeting for a walk today, ulterior motive as he wanted his phone bill paid.
Every time the phone goes, its money for this, and money for that. He’s a functioning addict so I’m hoping well get some of it back.
I wish we could get on with our lives without looking over our shoulders all the time.
Wishing you well
Lx
Lol Theresa, you made me giggle there! I guess we all have our ways of burning off steam! I’ll keep that in mind though!
Take care of yourself too.
Always here if you need to vent or a chat.
Lx
Bump, thanks for your reply.
I do work, but not Mondays. I have friends at work, I have two close friends who I can talk to thankfully.
Yeah, would be nice to get a call where there wasn’t an ulterior motive behind it.
I don’t give him cash, but I buy him food, cigs and today had to pay his outstanding phone bill, online, so no cash.
I feel he needs his phone for his meetings and sponsor. I told him I want it back at payday. He’s a functioning addict, fortunately working from home atm.
I feel for you too, bump not easy is it? Did you find a meditation video, i think there’s a headspace app you can get too?
Thanks again for your support, sisters are doin it for themselves!
Lx
Thanks for your support Jenny.
I didn’t give him the cash but I paid it online. I know not to give him cash any more.
His meetings are online mostly, and he needs phone to speak to his sponsor.
I will leave purse next time, I actually thought he wanted. Y company. Bit hurtful really ????
Thanks for listening, I just had to vent. I’m more calm now.
Lx
Arghh…need to vent.
So much for the “let’s meet for a walk, im so lonely, working from home, not seeing anyone ”
Just back, in less than an hour, he managed to squeeze another £40 to pay his phone bill !!
He’s racked up nearly £300 in less than a week. He’s promised to pay it back on pay day, but mentioned also he’s due dealer scumbags cash too. I feel such a mug, he’d been as well stealing my purse and running off with it !
I didn’t have to pay it, but I know he needs it for his meetings, I hooe to God he wasn’t lying about them.
Sorry to rant, it’s so emotionally and financially draining!
Lx
Hi tired mum
Welcome to the forum. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Everyone on this forum has been affected by drugs and alcohol, whether it be parents, relatives and also some advice and support from people in recovery .
I am in a different situation as it’s my adult son who has addictions.
If you read the other threads, there are others in your situation, who have younger children.
The forum itself has advice and support, but sometimes it’s comforting to talk to others in similar situations.
First and foremost, look after yourself and your children, it’s such an evil thing addiction, but if you’re armed with lots of support and advice, it will give you strength to get through it.
Take care, stay strong and look after yourself.
Lx
Thanks debc, I’ll keep you posted.
I’ll try to remain positive
Been here so many times, especially before payday!
Hopefully this will be a good week for us all.
Night ,god bless you
Keep in touch
Lx
Hi debc
Thanks for your post.
It’s been up and down. Son has been in contact end last week. The exgf did her usual stuff , I won’t go into detail, but he was quite desperate. I got him cigs and shopping, hes started meetings again. I managed to get an weekend break away with my hubby who’s been ill lately.
I feel more refreshed and hopefully cope better.
I’m meeting up socially distancing but looking forward to spending time with him.
How’s things going with your son, ive been thinking and praying for you all.?
Lx
Bump i googled” 5 minutes meditation “during day, there’s loads, choose one you like. There’s bedtime ones too, they help you drift off.
Jem, im glad you had that walk with your son, you need days like that.
My son phined earlier, had to get him cigs and groceries. He’s had a really bad time of it lately, we were unaware as he wasn’t in touch.
He’s pulling himself up again, starting meetings, contacting sponsor. I have to support him in this despite what’s happened recently. We love them right?
I’m meeting tomorrow for a walk too. Yes, difficult when they can’t see there regular friends who drink. Hopefully we’ll be strong for them.
Lx
Hi Ladies, I’m back from a nice chilled overnight stay. I feel a tad more relaxed.
Theresa your bucket scenario, I tried to shake that image from my head. What us mothers have to go through as if the pain of childbirth is not enough!
Bump , I totally sympathise with you, the known stuff is crap, but the unknown stuff…well no news is good news i try to tell myself these days.
I’m trying to focus on small positive things just now, I listen to a wee 5 min meditation daily or nightly. It does cool the beans a bit for bedtime. Ladies, we have to try and be kind to ourselves.
I’m no sandal wearing, free the whales type of person but it definitely works .
Lx
Morning ladies
Lovely morning here, take pleasure in the little things. Hubby and I are having a night away from home.
Son says he’s going to an AA meeting today. Fingers crossed ???? he sees the light..again.
Take care, thinking and praying for you all. Lx
Thank you so much ladies, my stomach churns when I see my son’s number ringing me.
Nice to know I have support here when I need to speak to someone.
Night ladies
Lx
Theresa, sorry i missed you off my text. Its sounds like you still have a sense of humour through your troubles. You definitely need that don’t you? What a difficult situation you’re in, my son would’ve done the same if we hadn’t helped him with house deposit. We had to make it fair as my daughter was getting help with uni expenses.
Jem- you must be so pleased that your son is making improvement. I wish this for all our sons.
Funny how its mostly boys that give us grief- is it a coincidence?
Bump – hope things get sorted out for your son soon. Such a worry!
Take care ladies, try and have a peaceful weekend. Lx
Hi Bump, jenny and Gem
I hope you don’t mind but I’ve been reading this thread and can relate to a lot of what’s happening to you.
My adult son is almost 28, living in his own flat (thankfully) but has alcohol and cocaine addiction for several years.
This addiction is ripping our family to shreds, as you all know from experience. You feel that you are unable to move on with your lives until their’s becomes more settled and happy.
Yep, i agree, I wonder what it’s like to have a son who is respectful, sympathetic, caring and reliable.
That’s our end goal ladies, for them to be happy and healthy and being independent of us.
I had a stressful week, son wasn’t speaking to me, but called late in evening asking to borrow £300 as the dealer was coming to break the door down for it!
What do you you? I worried about this happening and him being knifed or worse. We caved and did a bank transfer. He promised he’d pay us back, and start going to meetings again.
I’ve been anxious and feeling low all week, but managed to go to work as it is a distraction.
I’m grateful for this forum to hear that others are in similar circumstances.
Hope you all have a stress free weekend. I’m sure you all more than deserve it.
Lx
Thanks debc,
It is another world. My daughter said that to me earlier. Its like a dark underworld that we didn’t know existed!
I saw him earlier (he wanted cigs) and mentioned going to a meeting tomorrow. I’ve to take him as he’s no money to pit car through mot.
I feel i have no life , running about after him all the time.
Yes, I’ll try not to mention her, although she often the cause of his relapses. I agree, you’ve got to love yourself before you can love yourself…ru Paul.
Thanks again Debc
Lx