[lolipop]

I am so glad that you reached out for help and support . You deserve to have some peace . Of course you will always be sad about your son there are still days when I want to bawl my eyes Out but they get less . As can’t take no more said you will always love him nothing will ever change that and nor should it .i hope that sometime in the future our sons will understand how much we love them and they find the strength and courage to change . Wishing you all a peaceful weekend xxx

[lolipop]

Oh lovely girl Your 8 months pregnant of course you want support and to feel like your loved you deserve it . This should be a special time for all of you and addiction is robbing you of it . It’s a terrible thing to live with someone who is a drug abuser It takes everything good in your life and destroys it if you let it. Do you have family or good friends who can be there for you ? Don’t be alone with your worries share them with someone . Now is not the time for you to make big decisions about what you want to do concentrate on you and your family . I wish I could say more to help love and hugs lollipop xxx

[lolipop]

Hi scanners thought about you today . I really hope you went and found some support xx

[lolipop]

Scanners it sounds to me like you’ve done all you can for your son . You can’t let him get away with this sort of behaviour anymore and now your poor mom is involved . I hope speaking to your counsellor on Friday will help you to see things more clearly . Sometimes walking away is all we can do it doesn’t mean you’ve given up on him if just means you will be strong enough to help him when he’s ready . Deep down I think you know this but your scared and lonely and very tired I know how that feels but you can and must do something about this situation it’s terrible for you to continue living half a life . My heart goes out to scanners sending you a massive hug
Love lolipop

[lolipop]

Hi scanners … I too feel very weak sometimes when dealing with my son he can be very aggressive demanding and manipulative especially when he wants money for weed . When I look at him I see my beautiful little boy and I wonder how he came to be this sad lonely person who feels drugs are his only choice. He still lives at home and some days are very difficult . I keep trying everyday and have managed to put some boundaries in place which I stick to . I love my son very much and hope and pray that one day he will make better choices. Thinking of you xx

[lolipop]

I contacted my doctors and they gave me the number of the U.K. National drug helpline but you can google it they should be able to point you in the right direction. Please ring them ( I just googled it and it says they have a 24 hr helpline but not sure how upto date that info is ) xx

[lolipop]

Hi Gill … My heart goes out to you it must be extremely difficult for you living like this. My son lives at home and smokes a lot of weed and has done for s couple of years . He to can get verbally aggressive and although has never hit any of us he smashes things round the house. I wish I could offer you advice that would help but I can’t I only know that my life got better when I contacted a family support worker and started to put boundaries in place and I stick to them . Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t but I keep trying . You must feel very frightened and alone . Please don’t blame yourself or suffer in silence speak to someone and get support for you and the rest of your family . Sending you big hugs strength and courage xxx

[lolipop]

I know what it’s like to sit in dread and fear just waiting until it all kicks off ..the stomach churning the shaking the fear . It wasn’t until my family support worker pointed out to me that I was a victim of domestic abuse that even realised what was happening to me .. That’s when I decided no more . You need to start putting yourself first . Be kind to yourself you deserve so much more xxx

[lolipop]

Blue … you obviously love your family very much and feel very hurt by the way things are at the moment. to me it sounds like your brother is aggressive to you because your the person who stands up to him and tells him about his drinking and he doesn’t like to hear it . My heart goes out to you it really does. unless someone has lived with an addict of any kind no one knows the stress and worry the sleepness nights the crying the pleading its easy for people to say throw him out disown him its not so easy in real life. My son is addicted to skunk and he still lives at home he is in denial and refuses any help , so believe me i know what the stress is like and its bloody hard to get up everyday and carry on. Sweetheart its time for you to try to look after yourself and put YOU first for once . I have tried hard to take my life back and with little baby steps i have managed. When i look back to christmas and compare my life now its a million times better its not perfect but its good. I smile i laugh i do things for me .and every day i try to find something positive.
I’m sorry im not more help to you i really have no answers .
Thinking of you and sending you a big hug xx

[lolipop]

Hi MB…. i have never posted on here before but after reading your post i just felt i had to reply. Your story is almost identical to mine. I have a son who has smoked weed for around 2 years. when he can he smokes the really strong stuff.he also lives at home and like you our relationship was non existent.He too has isolated himself from friends and family and see no one outside of work other than his dealers. it has been a very difficult painful road for us. I have learned to separate the addict and my son. I no longer lend him money or bail him out of bad situations. I don’t let him smoke the vile stuff in our house (he goes outside ) He too used to get aggressive and verbally abusive . The last time he did it i threw him out . He came back the next day and apologized and we let him back home. after that i refuse to let him treat me in that way and told him so. Next time he does it i will phone the police. Do you have any body to talk to ? I go to a family and friends group which has saved my sanity ! i would try to find a group local to you and i know its hard but go and keep going it really does help. I have been advised by a drug worker that my son probably has un diagnosed ADHD ( he was extremely hyper as a kid ) As adults they are more likely to become addicted as they use drugs to self medicate themselves. I used to feel very angry towards my son and couldnt look at him somedays without wanting to scream at him. Then i became very sad and cried a lot. Now i live my life and leave him to his . In the last few months our relationship has improved he will talk about everyday stuff but any mention of his weed use and he shuts down and wont speak to me for days so i dont try to discuss it with him. i figure that he knows i love him and will always be there whenever he’s ready to change. i don’t hold out much hope but i continue to love him as moms its all we can do.
Its been said to me many times ” You didnt cause it you cant control it and you cant cure it ! ”
Sending you a hug
Dee xxx

[Author]

Posts