[Mary1000]

Hello all of you. How nice to have found such a positive and supportive bunch of people, full of hope and good humour. I have been following this thread for a couple of weeks now, but not contributing because my story is a little different. I didn’t start with a prescription of legitimate physical pain – it was emotional pain. We had some in the house after my husband’s shoulder operation and one day I had an awful headache so he gave me one. It sorted out my headache and also I relaxed and chilled out like I have not since before I had children, before I had elderly and dying parents, before I had a responsible job and had to organise and support a family and all of that stuff that grown ups are supposed to take in their stride! Anyway – I guess the story is the same for many people. You think you have found a way to chill out and recover from it all – but you realise that you have developed a tolerance. You take more and become addicted. I don’t feel that I can talk to anyone about this. No one. I do not believe  it will be regarded as an illness. It will be regarded as a fault, a weakness, a betrayal. Myself,  I feel so foolish and ashamed. There are may reasons why I want to give up. It’s so expensive and I find the trawling around pharmacies to be exhausting. My health is suffering and I have lost sight of what makes me genuinely happy in life. I actually have a lot of really good things going for me so I hope I find a way of reclaiming my life. I don’t know how or when I’m going to give up, but  hope you don’t mind me hanging around here a bit while I work things out. It’s  good to know I’m not alone.

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