[mattedwards]

Hi everyone, So I have a strange one, basically i’m in the military and when I went out on tour my back went on me. So MRI scan, I found out that I ruptured a disc due to rapid weight loss in a foriegn country along with the heat, running and doing the job I was given.

So rehab course for movement to get back at it blah,blah. Anyway, for the pain I was given naproxen, that messed my inside up and ended up with fissure and piles to which after 2 and a half years are now finally sorted recently (had proceedure 5 weeks ago). After the naproxen I was given codeine and it took the pain away. Made it painful to go toilet because of the dosage but it was better than the back pain I had. So been taking it on and off for over 3 years here and there when i’ve had a back problems or bad abdomen pain (all perscribed constantly by a military doctor).

So I believe my body has become addicted to it, without me realising mentally in the slightest. I just thought i’ve been feeling like crap all the time and depressed when i’ve not had pain because i’m still stuck in a rutt and couldn’t work out due to my fissures getting worse when I exercised.

I’ve recently been reading and all the symptoms add up to codeine addiction on the body. Now it’s strange, I think i’ve been that mentally aware to how addictive the drug is, i’ve never gotten mentally addicted to it. In fact I can’t stand it, I don’t like the feeling of it and never really have done. So i’m in it at sqaure one because I took some recently because i thought i wonder if its the codeine, if i take some now and feel better tomorrow then I know its that and I can knock it on the head.

Highest I’ve gone, which to be honest isn’t as much as you guys/ladies at 30/500mg in with paracetamol 12 times a day for about 2-4 weeks (3 years ago at peak back pain). I had recently been thinking I always feel like crap and looked online because I had a thought that codeine is addictive for a reason, so I wonder if my body is having withdrawal symptoms on the drug. I will keep people updated on my cold turkey as of today if people ask 🙂 and if and when this damn depression and anxiety dies out.

I don’t feel I can perform my job to a high standard that I should be doing even though i’m been told my work (non physical at the moment) is brilliant. I just don’t want to leave the accommodation or even interact with my partner or much to the kids, which I love to bits but I can’t bring myself around to be a good dad at the moment.

I’m just constantly thinking about myself not sleeping and how bad I feel all the time. Having no mental addiction to it but a phsyical addiction i’m finding very strange to deal with. But I find it easy not to take them now I have my mind set that its them causing all this negativity in and around my life. The side effects are very real on the body though.

Anyway, heres to day one and thanks for reading my story, apologise for the length.

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