[MovingOn2023]

I also lost my husband this past November. We were married for 29 years. We married when we were 20. We had 2 amazing children. He was a wonderful, amazing man . He inspired many people. He had 2 Masters degrees and a doctorates degree. He was a leader in higher education. We always told each other “you are my life”. 5 years ago his drinking became very heavy. He grew up with a family of drug addicts, but he had overcome all those obstacles and made something great out of his life, but he never felt satisfied. I know he loves our children and I deeply, but the alcohol stole him away from us. 3 years ago he had gastric sleeve surgery and was informed alcohol use would be bad for him and he could only drink occasionally. A month and a half after surgery he was drinking again. Then COVID hit and he was lost in alcohol. He started having black outs and collapsing. A year ago he started sleeping all the time and if he was awake he was drinking. I tried everything to get him to stop. In June of 2022 after having  family interventions, and setting up rehab, which he refused, I had to leave him. He was not him anymore and I felt like I was living in a nightmare. I told him if he was sober for 30 days I would come back. That didn’t happen. I filed for divorce, that didn’t make him wake up. Then in October he was admitted to the hospital for alcoholic hepatitis. His liver was destroyed, kidneys damaged. And you could tell he had severe brain damage. He was denied a liver transplant and we brought him home for hospice care. It was a painful death to watch, but me along with the family nursed him through until he took his last breath. I miss him for who he was. I feel guilty for being thankful he has finally passed. I know God has taken care of me through it all and I am working on healing. I wish I would have found this forum a year ago, but I’m thankful for reading it now. It is comforting knowing I’m not alone in experiencing this horrible disease.

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