Hi,
Similar but different situation. I’ve recently found out that one of my parents has had a drug addiction for many years without me knowing. I’m in my late 20’s. It was shocking and I didn’t quite believe it ar first. Everything on that side of my family has broken down and it’s definitely not going to get better for a long long time. My parent doesn’t want to talk to me about it and I feel quite shut out and still distant from it all. The not knowing part is horrible because you wonder how you could have helped or supported them much earlier. So I know how you are feeling! And I’m sorry to hear this. Hope your situation gets better soon!