[navy]

Hi Rosie

i know it’s draining, it feels lonely as we lie to those we love to protect our OH and their situation.  has your OH admitted he is an addict or is it all still hidden from you ?
the only advice I can give is to look after yourself, keep seeing your family & friends have a social life, eat well and try and get some exercise in, going for a walk and losing yourself in music even for just 1/2 hour. You also must get good sleep in try going to bed early.

I still get my weekly exercise in, I talk to a therapist and I enjoy my work and have great colleagues (they don’t know exactly but they support me and make me laugh) I don’t think I would get through this without them.

look after yourself rosie

we are here for support, help, and advice if we can.

love Navy xx

[navy]

Hi Lozzy80

So sorry to hear about your dad, it’s awful, I pray that he will get better and send lots of love to you and your family, it’s hard to be the rock when you don’t have anyone to look after you. I’m here to listen anytime. I hate that the stuff it makes them sleepy then angry and then back to using again to make them feel better.

i have not enjoyed Christmas Day, it started off ok, I cooked breakfast then we opened presents, I then cooked lunch which we both ate and then he disappeared for the rest of the day, I text him to come and sit with me to watch tv in the evening he came downstairs made a fuss about food, then couldn’t watch tv had to go…… wtf.

I spent Boxing Day with family which I really enjoyed then came back to miserable OH, I tried to get him to have food with me but nope, he was suffering.  So again spending the evening on my own.

I’ve  given him an ultimatum now for the new year, I hope this gives him the push he needs. So let’s see, if at anytime this does t work then I’m off, I have to look after myself, my health needs to be put first as I don’t like these anxiety attacks I’m having.

I wish you all the best. Look after yourself xx

 

[navy]

Hi cmd

i dint think this is a easy situation to be in. You must be so torn and heart broken. However you’re right you must not allow him to live in your home.
Can you get him into rehab? He needs serious help but only if he wants t kick this disgusting drug that ruins lives. His mind is twisted and sounds like he doesn’t believe in himself. Therapist will talk to him and see what or why he feels the need to have a thus drug.

you cannot do this alone. You need help too you need to find a therapist to talk too whom can help you get through this.

look after number one YOU.

i wish you all the luck and will be thinking of you

Love Navy

I hate this drug and what is does to our loved ones.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>stay strong xxx</p>

[navy]

Hello

i just need to vent:-

im so upset I just wanted a nice Christmas Eve time spent together having food and watching a movie.

he hasn’t seen me all day. I tried to get him to come and have lunch with me but he was tired!!! Then was feeling unwell,  I got angry so now it’s all my fault he has retreated to his room and I’m in mine. I feel that he wants to argue to get away from me I feel that the rehab is not working and the devil has won again!! His actions are as before hiding away from me as I can see the signs.

i don’t want Christmas Day to come. I don’t want to have breakfast with him, open any presents or cook lunch.  I want to run away and hide and pretend Christmas is not here.

thank you for letting me rant.

hope everyone on here stays strong for their. Children

lots of love

navy xx

[navy]

Hi lozzy

i know it’s hard isn’t it, I have the excuse of mh too……… I think the mh is caused by cocaine use for years.  I’ve now been told he has to come off it slowly, tapering I think it’s called , where they take it less and less till they come off it!!!!! How much of this is true I don’t know.  I think I maybe falling for yet another lie and to made a fool out of me. I can’t wait for Christmas to be and gone, I really don’t feel like Christmas.

hope you and your children enjoy despite him and I will pray for your dad sending you love and hugs

stay strong

navy xxx

[navy]

Hello

well it’s been a rough couple of days and a lot of crying on both of us. We are going to try and go away for a couple of days to see if we can get on without the pressure of life as we know it where we can be looked after by someone else and to see if we can get on. As every evening we end up in a row over silly things he is driving me nuts but the things he says and then to come home to packets on the side board, dishes in the sink and every glass used. Asaatrrrggghhh why why why can’t they put things in bin and wash a few dishes and wipe down the surfaces. He is at home ffs. Sorry.

I’m more looking forward to Christmas celebration with my family and not with him how awful is that. I’m just so tired of it all.

as for sleeping my pattern is all over the place and so is my eating, however I’m back in the gym and loving it so it’s keeping me sane.

merry Christmas all.

hope you have something nice to celebrate or somewhere nice to be where the celebrations will be good.

take care all

love navy

[navy]

Hi lozzy80

sorry for not getting g back earlier, it’s been a short couple of days…..well I’m still here hoping to get through Christmas I think he lying to the guys at rehab (online) as I know he used before his session. He tells me how lucky he is to have my support. I’m fading, I’m not well and I just want to go to sleep and not wake up so so I don’t have to keep going  through this.
im so lucky to have such great family and friends to support me so Iam very lucky, and that’s why I keep going.

some questions

why do we keep putting ourselves through this ?

why do we keep trying?

how long do we put up with this?

 

I was told the other day that he needs 7 days 24 hours with me……. I don’t think this will work, what happens after 7 days, what happens when we row, what happens when the pressure of works happens, how do they put coping skills into process when they have had 24hr 7 day a week support.  Will things be ok.  I don’t think so. Now it’s mental health issues that he needs to overcome as it’s not the drug!!!! FFS when do they stop lying to themselves.  If they can’t/ don’t want to give up then let us go. Don’t make us feel guilty.

sorry I’m angry and just want this year over with. I’m so sad.

take care everyone

navy xxxx

[navy]

Hi lottier

im so sorry, this sounds awful. My OH is in rehab only the past two weeks, he really wants this and tells me how much he loves me, adores me and never wants to hurt me. He is very remorseful. However I don’t feel he is committed just a gut feeling. I’m trying so hard to forgive him but my head tells me to be careful.

 

Oh lottier I feel so much for you and your children this must be so hard especially with Christmas just around the corner, I hope and pray you get through Christmas and then decide what you need to do for the best your children need stability and a strong mum.

keep reaching out on here for support.

sending you lots of love, hugs and support through this site

navy xxx

[navy]

Hi lottier

thank you.
well I was right, he admitted that he knew I knew he been using. He had therapy and told them he relapsed they were helpful to him. the drug has to stop and the mental health will improve alongside with group therapy and CBT. I just pray he listens and tells them the truth and he can get through this.

We sat and talked and actual laughed together.  I’m still supporting him for now I pray I’m not in for another round of lies and heart break. . I’ve made myself so unwell and I used to be such a jolly person but I’ve had the stuffing knocked out of me.
i wish us all the luck and strength we have to do what we want to do and not feel guilty about it.

Keep looking after yourself and stay strong

lots of love

navy xx

 

 

[navy]

Hi everyone

can’t believe we are all still here in the same situation, my OH is in therapy but to be honest I don’t think it’s working as nothing has changed he is still using, I found it last week  and again this week. I must be so stupid to be still here trying to help him. he still hurting me mentally. I cry alot
I thought when in therapy you’re not supposed to use. I’m lost can anyone give me insight how it works do they tackle addiction first then mental health or the other way around?

lots of love and strength to you all

navy x

[navy]

Hi lozzy80

im still here, I’m still trying to understand. He is having help. It’s taken its toll on me tho.

I have taken time off work with illness now I need more time to help him. I’m hoping that by Christmas he will be feeling better I still don’t know if this will work if the devil will leave him alone, I know he opened up more and says he hates this f**king drug and doesn’t want any part of it anymore, he knows how hurtful he been towards me and really wants this. I really hope that’s him talking and not the ego part of him taking me for a ride.

so sorry your going through this Lozzy however you like me have a choice, we can support if they are willing to get help and show you the outcome so you can learn to trust them again. OR you have to leave and save yourself from being dragged down the rabbit hole with them which ends in the life you don’t want.

think carefully and do what’s right for you there’s no right or wrong answer. Or how many times  you want to forgive and try  again.  Just be prepared and keep looking after yourself do what you want to do and keep your friends and family close to you who can support you.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.
Navy xx

 

 

[navy]

Hi thistim3

i think rehab only works if the addict really wants to quit and become sober as I think it’s a choice if they want help to get that devil off thier shoulder. They need to follow a program and be encouraged how well they are doing and having someone who has been there going through what they think at the time is impossible as the cravings are too much to bere they can help with suggestions and ideas of what to do.

I wish that more of our loved ones could see how much help is there if only they are willing to accept they need help and more importantly want the help.

I don’t know how long your  loved one has been an addicted but it’s draining for us as we are not specialist in this but just trying to get through day by day hoping and praying that a trigger doesn’t arrive at a bad time or place for them and that they can handle that devil chirping away at them.

take care

navy x

[navy]

Hi both

thank you for your responses. I’m so sad as we are back to the dishonesty and he has used again!! He says he wants to get sober yet I don’t feel it from him. I feel that he is using me.

I don’t like the new normal I just want a life with the man I  fell in love with. I just want someone to hold when I’m feeling low who will just hug me and say it will be ok. Hold my hand when out for a walk and sit in silence when need be but just be there. It’s gone and I don’t think it will ever come back.

I’ve been on this site for over a year and I’ve just realised life it too short for all this s**t.

if he wants to ruin his then so be it but I can’t be part of it. He says he is going to join rehab!!! I’ve asked him to see a professional and share the results with me. I now need proof as I don’t trust or believe him anymore. I can’t keep going through this I’m getting too old.

It broke my heart today to see those words The devil won today im haunted by this and hate spending so much time alone.

I hope your both coping with your OH

take care

thank you again Navy xx

[navy]

Hi gaz105

i get it, I know the trust issue is so hard to get over. If she has changed since you met her and it was only the time she went away and you love her so much then you need peace of mind. I’m not sure how much this affects her if it’s socially taken as the comedown is noticeable can you see a difference in her when you’re out with her to when she is out with her friend’s. I do hope that you keep talking to her and she showers you with love and honesty and can get passed this.

I wish you all the best and please just post on here anything you need as there’s lots of us going through this and there’s some whom were cocaine takers and have stopped who give advice.

take care

navy xx

[navy]

Hello

im so sorry to read this, it’s so awful when you find out that the person you fall in love with isn’t really the person you fall in love with as they lie.
do you think the chatty outgoing girl you met was clean of drugs or used when she met you?
you said you had the conversation about drugs and how you feel about them however she still used on separate occasions.
they are good at lies they tell you want you want to hear. I don’t think if she is still going out with friends that use that she doesn’t on a night out.
if she wants to be with you and you need to trust her perhaps she could do drug testing for you or something similar to prove that her love to you means more than the drug and will test the following day after her night out ? Then you can build the relationship back up from there?
I hope all works out for you and you find a way of communicating and trusting her and she proves that her love for you is stronger than the pull of the drugs.

take care

navy x

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