[navy]

Hello all

im so sorry to read all these, I’m still going through it too why or why. He promised he would stop that I was everything he needed. All lies…… I’ve been back home 6 weeks and he hasn’t stopped. Still lying to me, I’m at breaking point agin, I wish there wasn’t so many other things that are stopping me from walking back out that door.

I have just found it in the car ffs. I m sitting on my own again. breaking my heart.

I want a normal life like we all do.

Bellapop I can’t believe he is sober and behaving the way he does. It must be horrible to live like that. I agree with bubbles he needs to check out mental disorder that could he could be helped for. either that or paws is right it’s mental abuse and you don’t need that. I’m so sad for you, you have gone through hell, and still are. Please take care of yourself.

navy xx

 

[navy]

Hi

i left my husband. (worst week of my life) he promised me he would get help, i was his life that’s all he needs is me. I came back, it’s been 4 weeks (it’s been very stressful time)

I know he has been using this past week and it’s killing me.

I just want to know when I left and it supposedly killed him thinking he would never have me back, why or why do you still do it ? and try to hide it.

how come this drug tells him it’s ok?

why am I not enough. ?

Why can’t he be happy with me. ?

I know life sucks sometimes but we all have to get on with it and put our best foot forward no matter what we are faced with.  I’ve had too, I’m trying really hard but it’s draining me again, I’m not sleeping or eating properly.

thank you for listening

Broken hearted Navy

[navy]

Hi AnonJ

i haven’t posted on here in a while but wanted to answer you:-

You have nothing to feel guilty about. I feel your frustration and anger. I’m going through a similar thing.

I left him as it got to much for me to handler and I couldn’t live any more lies.  It was horrific for the first few days he said and done horrible things to me. He then begged me to come home that me leaving was a wake up call. It took a few days of  me deciding if I could live with him, he promised me he would do online rehab, he would include me and do tests……..I came back he was the nicest man ever, he was kind, caring and we went away for a couple of days of which he slept 3 out of 4 which I assume was the come down.

Work had issues which I know hasn’t helped but I been home 6 weeks and things have gone back to the way they were. He’s manipulating me. I can’t leave again, but this is so hard as I know he is doing it. I found it on the units again,  he won’t let me clean his room (another sign) he is over eager, can’t stop talking and is constantly sniffing (excuse hay fever) yeah right.

I’m hoping to sit with him later to say lets get a date in diary for rehab to start as we are supposed to be going away in June which is 6-7 weeks time at least then he will have a start. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

 

I wanted to ask a question. Do you addicts  know how awful you are to us when we have suspicions (that are correct) and have stood by you, loved you and are trying to help. Is this the cocaine talking as we seem to be the bad guy. I’m feeling pretty low today and really just want to leave. I know I have to stand up to him as he promised me no drugs in house and there is. Why do you have to take it when you’re with us we are your wife your supposed to be comfortable around us.

I’m going to try and sleep now it’s been an awful weekend

take care alnonj and look after yourself. You do need  to talk to him and let him know how this makes you feel when he doesn’t communicate with you as the trust is going to take a while to return.  He needs to be reassuring you.  I however don’t agree with a line now and then as it’s an addiction that will never go away unless he quits for good.

navy xx

 

[navy]

Hi Kulstar

hope you are keeping well and your Christmas celebrations were a great time spent with your family. I just wanted to check in with you and congratulate you on the upcoming milestone to your 1st year. You must be so proud of yourself.

im however still with my addict husband.  It’s been awful, However Iam looking after myself and I do put myself first.

I just wanted to let you know how grateful Iam to have found you on this site and how much I appreciate your honesty, openness and helpfulness you have provided to me. I keep re-reading our conversations.

Good luck for the future Kulstar you deserve the best that life can offer you.

Keep up the good advice for those who need help along the way

take care, lots of love

Navy xxx

[navy]

Hi kulstar

its been awful, I know I should leave and I’m not sure why I cannot, I guess I’m so scared, I’m now in counselling which did have an impact on him and I thought that it hit home to him why I’m in therapy but it was short lived, I cleaned and the following couple of days I found the white power on the floor and units!!! I’m so sad, and angry.

I came home today and he slept and slept when he woke he said to me not to be judgemental!!! He just woke up. I was dumbfounded he had been in all f***ing  day he could have least done something around the house then apparently  I’m unkind!!!! I just thought to myself this isn’t right then in the next breath after a shower things were good……..I cried and then put a brace face on as was going out.

I need to get passed Christmas for family reasons then if and (I know already he still going to be using) I need to be strong and leave. This is going to break me but I have to try.

Kulstar thank you for your understanding  and congratulations on approaching your 10 months. I’m so proud of you ???? as I know how hard you had to fight this but your family comes first now and your children must be so happy to have their dad and your wife to have a loving husband. I just wish and pray I can I have my husband back.

navy xx

[navy]

I would like to thank you for your honest and direct response this is what I need to hear. You’re right in every thing you say. I need to be strong and tell him how it is. I’m just so scared. I do understand everything you have said

thank you kulstar. I will keep you updated once I’ve told him how it’s going to be.

I might go quiet for a couple of days whilst my head does the ruling and not my heart.

[navy]

Hi Kulstar

thank you. I know he has lied to me.  He was using the weekend whilst we were away. He thinks he is still hiding this from me. I found it on the bathroom floor. I looked after him as much as I could over the weekend and he lied to me. He has not even tried to give it up. When we got to our destination he went to sleep saying he was tired and anxious. (I thought this could be side effect from giving it up)  Then when we out for for dinner he was was hot, couldn’t breath, it was too hot.  I spent the following day on my own walking around town he came to meet me at one point and I had to sit him down give him a coffee and he turned around and said he couldn’t cope and had to go back to the hotel as he didn’t sleep!!!! (I now wonder why)……..

this f***ing drug is causing me to lose my mind. He has told me how unwell he is, all the time , his nose is always blocked, (he has a hole in it) would this heal on its own or getting better when not using?

I know he has to give this up for him and I have to leave it’s just so hard.  I will sit with him again this week and tell him how much this is hurting me and I can’t live like this, he has to understand I can’t live with this drug in our home, it’s killing him slowly and making him unhappy,

He is making me feel like I’m the one with mood swings, that I’m nasty and say hurtful things and I should think before I speak as when he is happy I bring him down with the things I say.

take care

thank you for listening

navy xx

 

[navy]

Hi kulstar

thank you for coming back to me.

sorry it’s so long since I posted I’m having a very difficult time. He supposed to be off it he said he been clean for 9 days!! I think he lying as nothing has changed. He still sleeps alot. Still binge eats. Has lots of energy then collapses. He complains of chest pain.

can you tell me how long it took you to feel more normal? I know you said you cried and slept for a week but after that did you feel any better. Did you nose symptom ease the sniffing the runny nose the nose bleeds etc. the anxiety ease, the jealousy?

I love him but I’m so unhappy and I think he just wants to make me happy but this drug use is killing me.

thank you

navy x

[navy]

I think it’s an extremely hard decision to make, only you can make it, if you stay you need to look after yourself, do the things you love to do, go out with friends, make plans, there is only so much support you can give , they have to help themselves. If they don’t get help then they either don’t realise they are an addict or they think there’s nothing wrong.
I think you need to leave for a while whilst he looks to himself and see what he wants to do. I’m so sorry you are going through this but your not alone in the way you think. I’m still struggling with leaving, I know it’s the end for me as he never going to give up as I’m on my 3 rd time of him saying yes then doing nothing, hiding it, avoiding me, being jealous of me going out.  Whilst he doesn’t leave the house.

remember to look after yourself. Sending hugs to you.

 

love Navy xx

[navy]

Hi Kulstar

thank you so much for your insight, my husband is now avoiding me, I haven’t seen him for 3 days he stays in the bedroom and I sleep in the spare room now, can I ask does this drug affect your eyesight and gums (teeth) I know bizzare questions? I know when you don’t take it this is when the come down is where he sleeps a lot and eats crap, he hasn’t left the house in 5 days either (that I know of) because I’ve been In Work. I don’t think he can cope anymore I’m hoping this is his rock bottom now and it makes him realise he has to do something now.  If not my intention is to leave and go from there.
I’ve contacted the doctor for help for myself as I’m suffering with anxiety, they wanted to medicate me but I wanted to talk  to someone but unfortunately they don’t  have therapist on the nhs and I can’t afford to go private.
thank you Kulstar

keep up,the good work for all us suffering the addicts and non addicts alike.

love Navy xx

[navy]

Hi lozzy80

sorry not been in touch. Hope your doing ok. It’s awful what we go through for the ones we love. I just wish they could see what it does to us. It does make me feel like I think I’m going crazy one minute he says all the right things and seems fine then he gets angry for no reason. I just look at him and think why? Why are you doing this. I know that he still doing it as there’s empty packets!!!
I don’t know if he ever has tried to come off it. I’ve asked him to get help. I’m not sure where Iam now. I think I’m trying hard to keep my marriage but I don’t know for how much longer. I spend the week in work and weekends on my own

I think if they want to give this up then they should be shouting it from the roof tops how well they are doing. Not promising they will and not do it.

take care remember to look after yourself and do what’s right for you

navy xx

 

[navy]

Hi kulstar

im so glad all is well. Yes you guess right all is not well with me. I’m just so glad to have this forum to get me through.
thank you again for answering my question, I can see why his attitude has changed and how he is so full on, when he is on it he just can’t keep still, I get exhausted from him. He just doesn’t stop then when I get home he is tired, it’s been a busy day everyone just keeps calling him!!!!! He’s not hungry just needs to sleep so another night on my own. Then the following day he can’t go to work, he’s got a cold or sore throat, he then works from home yet again.

you say the come down can start from 15 min onwards depending on immunity, I probably know the answer but the come down I suppose can very from person to person, tiredness, agitation, anger, eating bits but not proper heathy meals. Then when I get home there is dishes everywhere and he is not well enough to come down to see me or talk with me so I’m always on my own.

Thank you for being here, even though you wish you didn’t have a story to tell, but your helping others so that has to be the outcome of what happened, you still have your family and now a better life.  Keep looking forward and being proud of who you are now.

keep strong

love Navy xx

[navy]

Hello Kulstar

how are you and your family doing.  Hope all is going well.  I have re-read your post, you are truly an inspiration and I just wish my husband could see what this stuff does to you.  I’m at breaking point, I know you have said to me to protect myself. I’ve contact the doctor a couple of days ago  for some help but didn’t want to tell them about my husband as he is a patient there too. They are sending me leaflets how to process anxiety and learn how to breath.

May I ask a question please.  Can  you function when you are on it, work, drive go out etc……remeber what you said, done.
..I read it only last for up to an hour after that do you feel  the come down the agitation, need to be on your own?.

keep up the good work Kulstar heading into your 9 months free, you must feel amazing now being able to life your life to the full with your darling wife and beautiful children, keep looking forward

love Navy x

 

[navy]

Hi lozzy

I know exactly what you mean. YOU ARE NOT WEAK.
I’m finding it so hard to tell him our I feel and that I can’t cope no more, ive also written it down on paper.

I’ve blamed the drug use for his illnesses and why he is so unwell now. He says it’s not the cause of his problems!!! (I do]
I need to leave too. I think this will be the straw that breaks the camel back or hopefully will make him Realise what this drug has done to him. To us.

Stay strong,look after yourself, make sure your still seeing friends, going out and doing thing’s that makes you happy.

Take care

Love Navy xxx

[navy]

Hi elf73

i know,  I just wish this drug never existed

I’m having a hard day today as he had an anxiety attack last night he couldn’t eat he was upset nobody understands how much pressure he is under he has to do everything!!!! all because he was on it today just to function. I’m really sorry but I’m working too up at 6 not home till 6 then got to clean up make food etc, I’m so angry today. Just needed to vent to someone so unfortunately your the ones I turn too. Thank you xx

I asked if he ok he just said trying to survive today!!! Well if he didn’t take it then he wouldn’t feel so shit!!!! I’m so angry ????

When I get home he will be telling me how unwell he is that he can’t talk now to upset!!! And I will be left again tonight on my own. I’m bitter now too, so I think it’s time to go. He has ruined all my plans I just wish he could see what this is doing  to him and how it’s driving us apart.

thank you again for letting me get this off my chest

 

Navy xx

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