[navy]

Hi Kulstar

Thank you so much for replying to me, and being open.

I’m breaking my heart reading this. I knew it wasn’t right. It was different.

Yes he was going for ages but couldn’t finish, I had to end it as I couldn’t keep going I said sorry Why or why does he do this.

I’ve built up my Hope just to be knocked back down

I know I have to stop protecting him and be honest with him. I’m not enjoying our relationship anymore. I’m on edge, This is hurting me so much,

I need to talk to him this weekend. If he doesn’t open up to me then it’s time to leave and tell him until he takes responsibility for himself then I have to go.

I’m realising that this is not my problem, I’ve had my fair share of heartache and stress and have never turned to drugs. I know this is an addiction but I can’t cope anymore.

Thank you, take care and I’m so proud of you and I don’t even know you. Your an inspiration to me of how you overcome this and your wife being there. Keep up the good work.

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi kulstar

I’m hoping you can guide me please.

It’s been 4 weeks and I think he took it yesterday as he was very horney? Does this happen?

He has also said he had an health issue he going back to bed thinks it’s low blood sugar!!! He felt giddy?

Does this happen when you re-start taking ?

I’m so sorry to ask these questions?

Thank you

Navy

[navy]

Thank you Eddie123

I will look this up

Thanks again for getting in touch

Things have settled a little bit but it’s not right. It’s me who needs help to understand.

Navy x

[navy]

Hi kulstar

I don’t think he has used on holidays!!!

The relationship wasn’t a close one so I do find it hard to understand why he feels so bad!! Perhaps it’s because he wasn’t there enough in his last days!!

Thank you for your words I’ve read and re-read that the person who is going through this also needs to understand that life gives on for others around them.

I think his dad would say to get on with your life only one you get so live it to the full!!! But I don’t think he will accept this just yet.

Hopefully the next couple of days get better.

Keep in touch you have been so helpful to me and my situation

Take care

Navy xx

[navy]

❤️????

Navy x

[navy]

Hi kulstar

Im checking in with you

Hope you doing well.

Well it’s a the anniversary of his fathers death.

I’ve tried to do all I can today. It’s gone from ok to awful. Everything is an effort. It’s been from slow service at restaurants to shops and that’s been hard for him he is getting stressed about it saying he can’t cope.

He gets very angry.

I’ve tried to reason with him but everything & everyone is against him. I’m apparently taking everyone else’s side and doing nothing for him. Yet I’ve praised him and let him do whatever he wanted today.

I know he is grieving but to speak the way he has and tell me he needs to be alone!

He told me that I need to give him unconditional love!!!

He has taken diazepam to make him sleep so he doesn’t have to think or do anything.

I’m hoping this is just because he is having feelings that he can’t quash with drugs!!! But all this really hurts.

I’m hoping tomorrow will be a better day. I know he going to be drowsy tho.

Thank you for listening

Keep up the good work and advice your an inspiration to me.

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi kulstar

I’m so lost right now

This is a disaster that’s all we have done is row. I’m trying so hard but I don’t think I’m doing so well. I didn’t want him to drive today and he has I told him I wasn’t impressed but it’s all my fault I don’t want him to be happy I want to bring him down I just don’t know anymore. I actually think I’m losing my mind. If it wasn’t for this site I would be blaming myself. But I actually don’t think I can cope anymore.

I’m so sorry for the way I feel.

I just want to support him but I don’t think I can forgive him.

I’m sobbing my heart out.

Thank you for being there for me.

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi Kulstar

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I really do appreciate it.

When I say that this is his first week clean it’s because we are going on holidays

I found out about his addiction in April and we have rowed 3 times in him going to get help. He still hadn’t got help.

Nobody knows about his addiction and to be truthful with you I don’t think he thinks he has a problem!!!

I’m just trying to be patient with him as I’m trying to understand the effects this has on him. He says that he has mental issues (he doesn’t think this has anything to do with drugs) I do however.

I think this first week is horrendous and it’s me who is crying a lot with the things he says.

I pray when our holidays end that he will see there is a brighter future and he needs to go out and grab it with both hands.

Thank you so much Kulstar for your insight. I truly believe that I’m too soft and I should be a bit more straight with him.

Congratulations to you getting on with your life and enjoying it better with a loving wife.

Take care

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi Lindy loo

Thank you so much for coming back to me.

I’m going to call up kulstar journey

I know it’s so hard really hard

Well fine to your son I’m so glad for you and that he wanted to do this for himself the problem I have is that he won’t talk to me about it. I’m struggling as I want to help but I need him to share.

Hopefully this is the first step but I don’t know if it will carry on when I get back from holidays as he not going to meeting or gone for help.

I just pray that he will see the light.

Please tell your so I admire him for helping others through this and keep strong

Love Navy xx

[navy]

Oh my goodness

He really is vile,you must be so upset. Remember your the sane one he is then unreasonable one.

Does his family know that he uses?

Im so sad for you. I wish I could give you big hug. Try to stay strings d positive. There is a life out there for you. He will miss you when your gone.

Stay true to you.

Lots of love ????

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi themidgetgem

How are you? Hope your doing well and things are levelling out for you.

I’m exhausted

I know that he used on Thursday & Friday and we were supposed to spend the day together Saturday and he wanted me to go out,he needs to work.

I cried but got ready and left. He slept all day did nothing. I got home tried to watch tv with him but he slept and when awake ate!!!

He then said he needs to go to up it’s only 7.45!!! We rowed I just wanted to spend time together!

I wrote him note this morning to say I’m ironing then will go out,out of the way.

he got up came down and then accused me of having a affair!! That I wanted not to be there today that I was meeting someone!!

All not true even tho he is pushing me away!

I’ve been waiting to talk with him he says he doesn’t want a a D&M

FFS he has to talk to me.

I think I live with a stranger!!

Thanks for listening.

Take care, thinking of you xx

[navy]

Hello frankie

I feel your pain, I totally understand the amount of times they say sorry, but it’s just a word with no meaning from them as they are not sorry but sorry they have been caught out.

I am on my third attempt to get him to stop, he says he needs a holiday to reset so we are going away soon but I found the stuff yesterday on the unit. I broke my heart, I thought he had given up as he now has a hole in his nose (so much use) he also has constant nose bleeds, upset stomach, he can’t breath properly and it has frightened him so I thought ok he will give it up now, but no just complained he has a sore nose and it’s been a stressful day so needs to be on his own ( he just doesn’t want to be with me as he is on it).

I’m going to go away and see how it goes. I’m going to pray and hope that this is what he needs and it’s not just a faze and he will be back on it when home.

I’m so sorry that it has come to a head for you, I understand what say about not knowing them anymore I feel the same it’s like living with a stranger, we don’t talk anymore, it’s mostly by text. I do hope that when/if you leave that he realises what he has lost and this gives him a kick up the arse (wake up call) for him.

Sending lots of love and keep looking After yourself. Remember this is not your fault and it’s not up to you to fix him.

Take care

Navy xx

[navy]

Hi Bellapop

I know that feeling of numbness as you want to believe but also scared of being hurt again, it’s good that he been onto CA, I hope it works out, if your like me I want to know what they say, what the steps are, I’d need to understand so that I could support. I’m praying for you and your family.

My husband shut me out never spoke about it, (that was because he never did it) im so glad you heard him on zoom at least he is making a start, and playing football that will get the good endorphins and serotonin running through his body.

Let us know know how things are going.

Lots of love

Navy xx

[navy]

Oh purple heart

My heart goes out to you,

Your doing the right thing, you can’t keep going like this not knowing where he is, what he’s doing how long he is going to be. You must have been in turmoil so many times, how have you coped?

It must be awful to see the family home go up for sale, but your doing the right thing for your children.

Do you actually think he will do rehab now that you have put the wheels in motion of moving out and telling him about divorce or do you think he will relapse again as he won’t be able to hack it, as it’s just words.

I think the only reason I’m still here is the thought of holidays and him not being able to get his hands on any and after 3 weeks away he will be able to be clean or am I just kidding myself!

Do I try at least then I know if I come back to him back on it that the drug has won and my bags will be packed as I know I can’t live like this.

I wish you all the best and remember you have done everything possible for him it’s now time to put yourself and your children first. Good luck, stay strong and true to yourself.

Lots of love ???? xx

[navy]

Hi fayzey

I’m so gutted about your situation he’s a plank I do hope he gets into rehab asap for you and that he wants to do it, he has to believe in himself too. I totally agree with you for feeling apprehensive with him and well done on you for still being there your one strong lady ????????

I’m doing ok apart from slight pains in my chest think it’s nerves when I’m due to get home.

You are the only people I talk to regularly I have been into Samaritans when we have rowed and talk to frank. Otherwise I’m on my own, I’m even lying to my family to protect him. It hurts.

I’ve been to the gym today as it’s my day off and really enjoyed it. Good endorphins running around my body. Made me feel good.

I found that stuff on my kitchen floor, yep I’ve become paranoid about it, I know what it looks like, tastes like and smells like!!!

I’ve spent my day in a blur he was working so I sat in the kitchen quietly until he finished then made food, he was talking about how much stress he is under how nobody understands he has to explain everything (he the bloody boss) I was angry but kept quiet. He didn’t eat his food said he was feeling sick!!! Too much stress

He told me he knows how upset Iam with him and he doesn’t think he will make this holiday he will be dead!! Nice thing to say, so I said do you want to cancel it, he says you don’t want to go with me (correct) but I didn’t say that I told him I’m so scared that your going to have anxiety attack and how am I going to cope. He got upset and yet again couldn’t talk to me and went up to his room.

I just want to scream at him and tell him to give up the drugs and your health will be better the anxiety attacks will stop and you wont have high blood pressure because your doing this to yourself that’s why your so bloody unwell aasrrrggghhh. (Sorry) but feels good to get that off my chest.

Thank you for all being here

Love to you all

XXX

[Author]

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