Thank you for replying and for the advice. I pray for the old him to return and for him to get help and change am I really being naive in hoping for this? Sometimes we go weeks without any problems things have got a whole lot worse since the lockdown I kind of think maybe things will get better after! Typing this I think how stupid am I! We have our whole future together we are currently in process of buying another house which is meant to be our forever dream home. He says things will get better when we move but I want him to get help before we make that next step. I know your advice is to leave him but I can’t bear the thought of that especially now in lockdown I really have no one and I can’t be on my own whilst going to the breakdown of my marriage. Same as you without coke he is an amazing person who would do anything for me and we have spent our lives together and been happy for most of that. I feel like now I took for granted when things were great with us and when I was his priority. Thinking about what we had is so upsetting compared to how things are now. I want him to get help so badly but I need him to do it for himself not because I have made him. My gut tells me he won’t do that.
