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Hi all. Day 34 here and pretty much totally back to normal. It helps I’m in Tuscany with my family so no room for the empty, listless feeling that hangs around until we re-wire the brain to feel contentment and happiness naturally, without codeine!
On addictive genes, the evidence is stacking up that some of us develop that addictive behaviour for one of a few reasons. It’s not a gene as such but external events interacting with our genes in a way that seems to shape our response to stimulus and make us susceptible to a ‘need’ to repeat certain behaviours. If you Google ‘your genes and addiction harvard’, there is a relatively clear explanation for some of it for those interested (sorry, forum won’t let me copy the link to the site…).
Continue to be inspired by how many of you are either far down the road or currently tapering/recently gone CT.
Now I’m well over the withdrawal, I have even more perspective about just how dreadful you feel in the early days. So, hats off to those who are in it right now and fighting the urge to stop those symptoms the easy way!
Also found that day 20 was a significant improvement – I am day 22 today and, despite being at my g’pa’s funeral (he was 102 so we’ve been celebrating his life much more than mourning, thankfully), I am miles better than even 3 or 4 days ago, which in turn was miles better than 3 days before that!
I know we’re all different but I was on over 700mg per day in one dose for quite a while so was expecting some pretty serious WD and physical after-effects. However, I don’t think it’s wildly different in term of timescales to folk who were on much lower amounts but more regularly spaced throughout the day (which could be much harder as a more regular habit to break, I suspect – I just had to deal with the significant urge once a day!).
So, hang on in there folks as it seems the end if week three can be a real turning point for lots of us and it is a pretty linear process that gets better every day (emotional triggers etc. notwithstanding)!
I’m totally on board with supplements (complimentary, homeopathic or more nutritional – whatever works!); I take a super vitamin, magnesium, co-q10, omega 3-6-9 and have taken ashwaganda, valerian and arnica.
However, whatever issues I’ve had, nothing has ever been as effective as cognitive behaviour therapy and working hard on my own negative thought processes, habits, emotions and (at time, frankly idiotic) choices!
It’s not cheap (if you can find someone!) and you’ll be waiting for it on the NHS but, if the process ‘speaks to you’ (it does me as it’s basically logical and totally sensible!), you don’t actually need many sessions to be able to sort yourself at home! Highly recommended.
On the subject of reaching for codeine in response to the ups and downs of life, many will probably have heard of Prof Steve Peters’ ‘chimp model’ (originally described in the book ‘The Chimp Paradox’).
Essentially, the theory goes that this ‘inner chimp’ is our unhelpful emotional reactions and instinctive feelings towards events/people/situations, and that acting on these instincts is what derails us all the time and results in dreadful choices.
In the follow-up, ‘A Path through the Jungle’ he takes you through a really accessible was to put your chimp back in its box, develop the resilience to manage it and not respond emotionally to setbacks, negative feelings etc.
It’s really practical with clear explanations, just enough science to reassure you he’s a real Prof with proper knowledge of how the brain works and some great tips on managing your chimp from the very first chapter.
Highly recommended if codeine has been an emotional crutch/solution in your life and this is why you can’t escape it.
Hi Casey.
About 3 and a half years. I was prescribed cocodamol 30/500 for a herniated disc in my back. Then, one day, I had a headache and took a couple as I just found them in my desk. I was doing a 16/8 fasting thing at the time so took them on an empty stomach and felt the euphoria for the first time…and so began the recreational use!
The first year was codeine phosphate and dihydrocodeine from internet pharmacies (before they tightened up the rules), then bottles of codeine linctus to supplement this. At this point, I was probably maxing out at about 150mg per dose (always once per day, purely for recreation). Then it gradually increased until this year when I’ve been on 800+ mg per evening for the last few months.
I think that, as the dose was so big, it stayed in my system long enough that I would sometimes go a day without but mostly every day for months now…
Prior to the herniated disc, my addictions were exercise and work. I’ve maintained the former reasonably well so I’m aiming to go back to that being my main source of endorphins once I’m totally over the tired muscles!
I’m pretty confident, to be honest. I’ve got a bit of an obsessive streak and, when I gave up smoking cigarettes and, later, a very significant cannabis habit, I never looked back because the thought of failing and breaking my ‘clean streak’ was too powerful for temptation to win!
Let’s hope I’m right and that same obsessive refusal to fail will be able to overcome opiates…I stopped heroin after only dabbling a handful of times as I knew it was so good that it would defeat me if I let it into my life properly so hopefully there’s a good precedent for my ability to avoid this type of thing.
Impressive willpower and stamina, Casey.
I’m day 16 today and my remaining symptom (weird, aching and tired muscles in my legs…but only below the knees!) is almost gone and better every day.
I have a bit of an ‘empty’ feeling at some point most evenings but it’s easy to distract myself and know it’s just the brain chemistry still out of kilter.
I find planning all the stuff I’m going to properly commit to (now I’m not just going through the motions in life only caring about my next megadose of codeine!) is really helping me through.
Whilst it felt dreadful for the first 10/12 days, turning the corner makes you realise it’s a pretty short period to suffer in order to be free of the stuff.
I have to agree with Lotty. I am on day 15 of CT and virtually back to normal. It sounds short but days 2-7 were horrible and 7-11 only marginally better.
Luckily, my kids were away at football camp for the first week and I would really have struggled to be a functional parent for that period.
If I had the time, I’d have planned a really slow, regular taper. I left it too late though and needed to stop for the sake of some holidays and events I wouldn’t be able to have codeine for.
Each to their own, of course, and I totally understand the desire to get it done. In hindsight, I’m also really glad I did it but it was really tough and I’d have loved to have avoided it!
Hi Stacey.
We’re probably very different in terms of body composition – I’m a fairly big man in my 40s with a long history of recreational drug use and a high tolerance for everything I’ve ever consumed! However, what I can say is that I was taking over 60 Nurofen Plus and 8 Solpadeine Max every night (4 at a time x 2) for weeks before I gave up, and at least 40 NP and the Solpadeine on and off for a couple of years before that.
The Solpadeine was simply because it has codeine and I wanted to take less ibuprofen and didn’t mind 8 doses of paracetamol in 3 hours, 4 at a time…ridiculous really as, even though I was extracting as much ibuprofen from the NP as possible, I know there was still loads in there.
Anyway, the reason I mention is twofold:
1) I’m on day 14 now of cold turkey and yesterday I swam in the sea for a good hour, walked a couple of miles over the cliffs of Dorset and didn’t think or feel the effects of my addiction once. The day before, my legs had felt the fatigue that’s plagued me since giving up the pills but I still walked about 5 miles across some serious hills near Corfe Castle (lovely if anyone knows it – highly recommended!).
2) My doc told me that, whilst he wants me to go for a blood test in a month or so, he would be really surprised if I’d done any lasting damage. The kidney is the worry and he says you have to seriously abuse it for years to do anything that would affect its functioning. He wasn’t concerned about liver or stomach (he said the former is pretty bullet-proof and regenerative, and the latter doesn’t store problems up but, rather, tells you very quickly if you’ve got a problem).
Everyone is different, of course but I hope this gives you some extra comfort that you can kick the pills without any physical after effects.
That said, I’m with Lotty and Casey – don’t go cold turkey if you can taper but if you can’t stick to a taper (I tried several times and couldn’t) then CT is short and sharp, horrible for most but over quickly in the grand scheme of things!
I’m sure I’m lucky my doc originally went for codeine for my back pain – tramadol is so much stronger! I’ve only tried it after my wife got some for a different reason and left the remainder in the cupboard…I know I would have been worse if that was readily available to me!
44 years and I’ve finally learned that I simply have the capacity to get addicted to anything. I’m going for running and vegetables as my next addictions…
To be clear, I wouldn’t suggest cold turkey for anyone. I only did it as I left it too late to do anything else (I’ll be away a lot in the next month and simply wouldn’t be able to take enough to still be gently tapering over that period).
If I had a couple of months, I’d have planned and administered a really slow taper. There’s no benefit to CT and days 3-9) at least, depending on the individual) require an awful lot of willpower that I’ve failed before on 4 or 5 occasions…
That’s the evil of it – you’re taking a legitimate drug for a legitimate reason. So, once you start abusing it, you can always tell yourself it can’t be that bad if the doc dishes it out or I can buy it from a random, unqualified assistant in a pharmacy!
I’ve had an eventful 44 years so far and did every drug you can think of (except alcohol which I never got a taste for!) to excess between the ages of 14 and 26.
I then stopped completely for health and career reasons for 15 years but, at 41, for some inexplicable reason, decided to abuse the pills given to me for a herniated disc in my back.
With two kids, a great wife and a very responsible job (headteacher), I became addicted to something that, of everything I’ve abused, was far and away the hardest to kick. Even heroin was easier to stop as I knew it would likely kill me and certainly reduce me to an empty shell of a life.
Most people won’t ever know the strength it takes so everyone on here on that journey or in recovery should be so proud of themselves (but try to remember the withdrawal and how bad it was so you never go back!).
Anyway, day 10 here and, I’m bored of waiting so I’m off to the gym to see if I can beat the fatigue out of my legs!
Lotty, not sure if you were asking me but I never had any nausea or vomiting (unless it’s coming after day 10!) so can’t help on that.
Day 9 today and definitely over the worst. Frustrating that my legs still feel dead and I can’t exercise properly but a bit more waiting for that is minor compared to the perpetual cycle of pill popping, touring chemists and generally hating what I was going to myself!
Even the feelings of emptiness and sadness that wash over me periodically are easy to put out of mind as I know that’s just the chemicals in my brain being out of whack. The positivity of knowing I’m never going back makes it easy to rationalise those away – I really feel I’ve done it this time.
Reflecting on why I feel different this time, I always used to say that the problem with codeine is that you never have a ‘rock bottom’ moment that forces you to action. What I did instead is line up four or five things for August, September and October which I know will be miles better if I’m off the codeine so that I had the biggest incentive to do it possible. When you’ve got no real reason to give up other than a rather abstract notion of poor health at some point in the future, I found it hard to care enough to stop.
Fingers crossed this had worked for me but I’ll let you know if I fall!
Hi, Star.
I’m afraid I’m no use re: tapering as I’m 6 days cold turkey. I’ve failed several taper attempts in the past so decided to go for ‘quick and painful’!
Hey, all.
End of day 6 here and it is definitely an improvement on yesterday so hopefully the physical withdrawal is on the way out.
It’s unbelievable what this process does to the body; I’m training for a couple of half marathons in the next two months and two weeks ago today I ran 18.5km at a decent pace (the morning after taking 60+ Nurofen Plus). This morning, my legs almost wouldn’t carry me up about 30 steps whilst out and about!
Still haven’t had the little voice telling me I could just have one night on the pills now I’ve ‘basically cracked it’. In the past, that voice had had me at 3, 5 and 9 days so I’m still looking out for the little sh@t!
Thanks, as always, for the inspiration.
5yrs, I planned a taper and bought enough for the first few days but, like you, decided that it wouldn’t work for me. I just felt that, if I was taking 50, I may as well do 60 as you can always put the reduction off until tomorrow whilst you just have one more ‘proper’ dose.
So, cold turkey it is. Day 4 today is probably the worst so far but, unlike previous attempts, I’m not entertaining thought of trying to do it recreationally maybe once a week after I reach day 10. So, I’m hoping something has fallen into place and I can avoid temptation once I reach the ‘danger zone’ of thinking I’ve got control of it now!
The worst thing about the withdrawal so far is that the symptoms themselves prevent you doing the best things you would normally do to take your mind off it! I’d love to go for a long walk or to the gym but I walked about 20 minutes this morning and ached so much by the time I got home. Concentration is shot so I can’t read or watch movies for long, and I’m so lacking in energy and enthusiasm that being social is the last thing I want. I know lots of people just hold up in bed for a week but it’s sooo boring that you just think about how crap you feel all the time as the minute eek by! My only advice, therefore, is try to find as many lots different ways to be busy as you can manage.