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Yes Halo crying and laughing aren’t so far apart as emotions x
Oh Kate I hope that you find some peace one day. I don’t know what else to say. I wish that every potential addict out there was exposed to the end game horror of it all before they find themselves in the throws of addiction, maybe a look into the future might stop them before it’s too late. Be kind to yourself x
I know and feel your pain. There really aren’t any adequate words. X
Can’t imagine what it’s like for you. Drug dealers who are selling/manufacturing it for profit and not because they too are addicted, should be locked up for a very long time. The pain they cause is incalculable.
???? Thanks for showing us that there is light x
You can do it. Do it for you, do it for all of us too. It gives us hope and as funny as this sounds, we become invested in your journey too, like an online adoption x
That’s lovely news Joanie I am so pleased for you. Sadly there are different types of addicts as I have found over the years. My son is not one of the nice ones, that is why it’s so difficult. Not only is he violent, his pathological lying is offensive. Only recently, he told his boss, who has given him so many chances to get clean and sober always taking him back, that he was in hospital having been told he is dying of cancer and sorry he could not come into work. I only found this out yesterday. The appalling part is that we have just lost my father in law to cancer having helped to nurse him for the last 9 months. I was horrified when I saw the texts knowing it all to be a pack of lies, he was actually on a bender somewhere, his now ex boss was so worried for him. It’s unforgivable.
Before anyone says it’s the addiction and not the real person, it isn’t. He always lied long before the addictions got a hold. The addictions have just ensured that not one word that comes out of his mouth is true. He tried grooming me all day yesterday via text, saying how sorry he was, how he was getting in contact with addiction support groups etc how he loved all of us and then he asked for money and when I said no … boom back to the vile abusive texts calling me every name under the sun. I subsequently found out he had done this to all his siblings (who haven’t blocked him) too who are under strict instructions not to give him money, he even said he had switched his phone off and gone off the radar to “frighten’ us all. That is abuse, it’s abuse of his children and the rest of the family. He had run out of money, we wouldn’t help so he punished all of us over the jubilee weekend. It’s not just his addictions that need addressing.
He has a cat that he has abandoned yet again and his poor sister who lives a few doors down has to pick up those pieces feeding it and making sure it’s OK.
Joanie your son is obviously turning some sort of corner and I am really happy for both of you, because my son only remains sober and even then it’s never completely sober, when he is locked up somewhere. The picture you have painted is not one I have ever been able to paint sadly. My son is only interested in himself. Nasty drunk and victim playing sober. It’s all everyone else’s fault.
Thank you everyone. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. X
He’s been found, off his face with another ex GF addict who is also out of it. One day I hope he understands how much harm his behaviours have caused. His poor children have spent all weekend crying, jubilee celebrations not attended because they were so worried. Ringing around hospitals and police stations. I am so angry.
Well my son has now been missing for 24 hours. I have kept this from the rest of the family because they don’t need the anxiety this induces. I will now, yet again, have to report him as missing hoping that in fact he is locked up by the police somewhere. This is my jubilee weekend. Pretending everything is OK when it isn’t.
Pambler, guilt is a wasted emotion and can only prevent you from moving forward. I am sure your mum would be happy with clean and sober, I know I would. The danger of being clean is always that you finally confront everything that has happened and all the emotions that go with that. Park those emotions, deal with them later and just concentrate on being clean it is the biggest prize for everyone involved in your life, there is nothing to be gained by looking back and beating yourself up. The place you are at now is what counts, nothing else. Every day clean wipes out every day using. Bridges can be mended, being sorry is an action, you staying clean is the action of sorry. You have to fix you before anything else can be fixed and I wish you all the luck in the world to remain clean. Xx
Go volunteering abroad with a charity. It might work, alternatively contact the NHS and ask them if you can be admitted onto the research projects being undertaken into addiction. This is free. Good luck, if it’s any consolation, coming onto this forum is in part a step towards sobriety.
That’s amazing. Well done your son.
Interestingly my son was convicted of GBH against his then partner a few years ago, she pleaded on his behalf as they have two children, he was given 2 year suspended sentence. With prison hanging over his head and drug and alcohol testing as well as probation etc, he remained clean, got a job and paid down his debts. The very minute that suspended sentence was lifted, he ‘celebrated’ and here we are again.
He could stop when his freedom was jeopardised, when he faced punishment for the terrible attack he perpetrated. He doesn’t think twice about getting behind the wheel of a car under the influence, doesn’t see his children and lies to them about where he is and what he is doing, uses his older children to lean on emotionally, guilt tripping them all the time, but won’t stop drinking or taking drugs when he can see the terrible impact he is having on his children. Absolutely no empathy. For me that says it all.
Having an adult child as an addict is bad enough, having an adult addicted child who has his own children is a whole new level of significant problems. As his mother I have to face their questions, their fears, their disappointment, their belief that he doesn’t love them. My efforts are now going into them and not him I am afraid. Sorry if anyone finds that offensive but they are innocent victims of his behaviours in all of this and 25 years of trying to ‘help’ has resulted in him never taking responsibility or even been held to account for the things he has done to our entire family, his siblings, his nieces and nephews included.
You have to let him do it for himself, it isn’t until they realise that there is nothing other than addressing their own problems via professional help that there is any chance of them coming through this. Don’t beat yourself up, he has to do it for himself. X
Sorry for glitch my post went up twice.