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pheonixParticipant
His admitted it’s a problem, he tried to see a doctor apparently but they sent him for ultra sound to check his liver but he never turned up. I feel controlling cause i’m telling him what to do.
We want to move in together (currently both live with out parents) and it would be easier for him to cut down, the area we first decided to move is where all his drinking friends are so i picked another area which is nicer and away from my past too (honestly i was a an addict- not alcohol or drugs, so want to get away from all those people i might bump into, my partner helped me through that when we was just friends) currently i don’t work so i have nothing to distract me from overthinking. He said his tried hypnosis before, not sure whether to believe him.
I’m seeing him this weekend, so worried about bringing everything up because its like a circle. I know his been drinking all week and tomorrow he don’t have work, i’m not seeing him but i won’t be surprised if his drinking with his friends again. Don’t know whether to invite him over.
I don’t mean to make excuses for him but is it possible its harder for him because he quit drugs 3 years ago, then quit gambling 2 years ago, trying to quit smoking and cut down on alcohol. Would it be too hard on him if i kept trying to talk to him and push? There was some things said that i’m not sure what to make of when he was last with me and drinking like his “not sure if he wants to be with me anymore” and i got angry cause literally the night before that he spent the night with me so i felt a little used. His never like that when he hasn’t been drinking but i’m also scared of bringing that up. We are usually very sexually active but don’t know where to go after him saying that :/ do i ask if he meant it, when he hasn’t been drinking.
Sorry if its to much information but i literally have no friends and i’m so alone trying to get every detail out before it stays locked up in my mind going in circles.
I thought this was a forever relationship and we even had a special ‘how we met’ story but sometimes when i see him drink i blame myself, have i done enough? am i enabling him? how do i speak about it delicately again? Could the pushing make him drink more?
His mum does know but still buys him drink everyday and if he runs out she will give him her wine. I barely talk to his parents about anything because i’m quite shy. Even when he overdosed on drugs and was in hospital they didn’t do anything (his ex gave him the drugs and they just let him go back to her)
pheonixParticipantI tried getting him into doing new things and asked about hobbies but he said he has none, the closest thing i could do was go play pool or go bowling but they all have bars there. Right now after our argument his ignoring me so not sure how to even deal with that, i was hoping to see him this weekend and thats when i could properly talk about how to help him, also hoping its a weekend he can not drink at all. Not even sure how to get him to have a normal conversation now. His drink problem is destroying our relationship and he cant even see it.
pheonixParticipantI know that he has had other addictions before and he battled those. His ex was an alcoholic and they kind of just ended up drinking together all the time
He has debt and feels like his ruined his life from other addictions (gambling is one)
Now whenever he drinks he says there is no point going out for lunch or dinner if you cant drink with it, he says his stressed all the time, then says he needs it to help him sleep, to help him stay awake, because his bored and drinking is the only thing to do.
His mum is a people pleaser and buys him drinks everyday for at home.
I will talk to him when i see him to ask if there is anything else his escaping from so i can try to help.
pheonixParticipantI know that he has had other addictions before and he battled those. His ex was an alcoholic and they kind of just ended up drinking together all the time
He has debt and feels like his ruined his life from other addictions (gambling is one)
Now whenever he drinks he says there is no point going out for lunch or dinner if you cant drink with it, he says his stressed all the time, then says he needs it to help him sleep, to help him stay awake, because his bored and drinking is the only thing to do.
His mum is a people pleaser and buys him drinks everyday for at home.
I will talk to him when i see him to ask if there is anything else his escaping from so i can try to help.
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