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Hey Lozzy
Happy New Year! Sober NYE for us too. I know exactly what you mean tho, even the good times are filled with sadness as you never know how long it will last. Maybe this year will be our year eh, they always say the bad times can’t last forever, one way or another we will find a happy ending I hope. Sending love and positivity xxx
It is 100% make or break time for us, although I’ve said this before. For my own sanity I cannot be sat here this time next year in this same situation. I feel like he’s taken from me what should have been the happiest years of my life, whilst our kids have been little, the things we could have done with the money he’s spent and when we have done things they’ve all been paid for on a credit card because he’s spent all our money so I have a constant feeling of nausea that we shouldn’t be doing whatever we’re doing because we can’t really afford it. You’re right in that rehab would be difficult as not only would we have to find the money in the first place we’d have no income whilst he was there although he could have probably been 5 times this year with what he’s spent. His dad is an alcoholic and he has no relationship with him because of this, he has grown up with this and I can see it eats him up. What I can’t understand is why he can’t just embrace the love he has got instead of wallowing in what he hasn’t had. It’s so frustrating because I really do think he wants to change which is why I’ve hung on for so long but at some point the wanting to change just has to stop being enough right? I wake up every day with a feeling of fear throughout my whole body and as much as I don’t think our children have any real idea of what’s going on they must sense my sadness, I can’t be giving them my best when I feel the way I do and I want them to grow up with a healthy idea of what a relationship is not one where Mum does everything and Dad shows up when he pleases.
Sending positive vibes for 2024, thanks for taking the time to talk to me. It’s heartbreaking that you’re going through this too xxx
Thanks Navy xx he will openly admit to me he has a problem but not to many others. We’ve tried various things over the last couple of years, he’s seen a GP, been put on anti depressants, had counselling, started doing the wild swimming to try and improve his mental health and everything seems to work and I get a glimmer of hope but then it’s only for a short while and then he’s back plunging us further into debt and lying to me day in day out. We have a business together so I feel completely trapped as if I ask him to leave I lose my job too. Last night was particularly bad, I was adamant I needed to bite the bullet and ask him to leave and then this morning he came to me and said he’s found a local NA meeting that he’s going to try and now I feel hopeful again but also very aware that I’ve felt this so many times before and why would this work when nothing else has…..
Hey, just come across your thread, this is my first time posting on here. I’m in a very similar situation and have been for years. I’m desperate for 2024 to be better but I just can’t see him changing and I don’t see another way out. Awful to see there’s so many others in the same boat, I feel so alone with it all as it’s not really something I talk about with many people, to the outside world we look ‘normal’ except inside I feel like I’m drowning and constantly feel like I’ve been hit by a bus 🙁 it’s draining the life out of me putting on a brave face and I definitely feel like I’m getting to breaking point xx