[rubytuesday]

I can relate to so many of these posts and it gives some degree of comfort to know I’m not alone. My husband died 6 weeks ago. We were so happy for such a long time. I realised he was an alcoholic around 10 years ago, but he was functioning and life seemed okay. Things escalated out of control through lockdown, and the last 18 months have been so difficult. He would lie about his drinking, even when I confronted him with the empty bottles I found around the house. I would hide his car keys to try and stop him going to buy vodka. He had such low self esteem but everyone who knew him loved him, he just couldn’t see it. He had counselling support and spent 2 months in rehab, but drank a bottle of vodka less than 24 hours after leaving there. That was the last straw for me and we separated, but a month later he was dead. I feel so lost and guilty, though in my heart I know he was never going to stop. I love and miss him so much.

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