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I have found it and clicked follow. I am not very knowledgeable about Twitter. Can you chat on there?

[sad-and-tired]

If you want to give your email address we could chat. Mine is my name so I can’t put it on here. My son kept breaching his tag, so what did they do took him back to court and ended his tag and gave him another fine that he doesn’t pay. It all gives me nightmares as I cannot stand debt it worries me but not him. Like you everything is my fault, some of the things he blames me for are laughable but he doesn’t seem to see the rubbish he comes out with. I have come close to calling the police on him but haven’t wanted to get him arrested maybe I should have done when he stole my jewellery. I do hope they can change surely this can’t keep on. Xxx

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Poor you, you have really been through it. With all the help that has been put in, what can you do? My son is 22 I suspect he started using drugs at around 15 that seems to be when everything started to go wrong. He was selling his stuff, at 18 he stole all my jewellery and when I found out it was him he didn’t bat an eye. Its just got worse and worse to the point I have been stupidly paying his direct debits, trying to sort his budgets out over and over, only to have him ignore what I have done and spend every penny on drink and drugs. He has been beaten up, attacked by knife point, robbed, had clothes stolen, phones missing, money missing after nights out. People take advantage of him when he is off his face. He has been to court for different offences, mainly criminal damage, he refuses to even pay his fine, I could go on and on and on……I am sick to death of it all but worry so much when I don’t know where he is. Crazy isn’t it….much as I love him he is verbally abusive to me and intimidating, I don’t need this in my life and so when he decided he wasn’t going to turn up for work I told him if he lost his job, he was out, he lost his job so I told him not to come back until he was ready to accept the help I was offering to get him off whatever he was on. That was maybe 8 weeks ago, he is still not ready to sort himself out, don’t know if he ever will be, but I hope……xx

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You have no idea how familiar this sounds, I kept trying to harden myself and be tough only to give in and fall back. Its a backward step yes, but each time you will get harder. My son was the same finances a mess, debts, he wouldn’t deal with anything so if I didn’t do it it was left, and yes turned into a bigger mess. This time I have left him, he has lost his job, wouldn’t sign on, I left it, he has now signed on. wouldn’t pay his direct debits, usually I bail him out, now I don’t, his insurance on his car is being cancelled and his car repossessed. You may find he actually can do it just as my son can but he has good old mum to do it for him so why should he. Yes I worry as well, but I worry more when he is under my roof and I can see all the comings and goings. No one can make you strong enough to do this, but believe me eventually when you get weary enough you will find the strength. Trust me I never ever thought my son could do anything that would make me push him away but for my own sanity I have had to do it. It is hard believe me I know but what are your options? xx

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I wondered about bipolar/personality disorder with my boy but again is it the drugs causing it, I really don’t know. Yes I know what you mean about the phone, when my son wants something, my phone and text go constantly, so block him for 24 hours. There is no easy quick fix, I am slowly learning that, but as I have become harder with my son, he bothers me less for money, things are far from good or right but I have some peace now, you are in the place I was maybe2/3 months ago. It is so so difficult to do this tough love thing, I don’t know if it works but I do know that my son cannot manipulate me like he used to. Sometimes when he is abusive on the phone I hang up and turn it off, he knows now if he wants a conversation its best to speak at least civil to me. good luck x

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Funny how they blame everyone else, my son is the same, you wouldn’t believe some of the things that are my fault so I wouldn’t worry to much about that, it’s the drugs I think as others have said the same.
My son blew his entire wages in two nights a while ago, the whole lot on booze and drugs. Why not try not giving him money for the next two weeks, be strong and do it. My son who I had to tell to leave still seems to manage to find someone to put him up and manages to eat, I think you may find he is more resilient than you think. What mental health condition has he been diagnosed with, I sometimes wonder if my son has a mental health issue, but of course it could be the drugs. Stay strong xx

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Your story could have been me and my son. It broke my heart but I had to kick him out he had turned my life into a nightmare. I pray tough love helps but at the moment he is managing to manipulate others into taking him in. Be strong and let him see what real choices he is making for himself. Good luck

[sad-and-tired]

And sectioning not auctioning. so sorry writing on a tablet

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Apologies last bit should have just read good luck xx

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My heart goes out to you. What an awful position you are in . You do not say how old your son is, is he receiving any help for his mental health. Dual diagnosis is so difficult as it is not easy to know if the drugs are causing the problems or the mental health so it is important he gets proper medical help if you can persuade him. It is hard to see your son being taken advantage of but this is the nature of drug users . I am sorry I cannot suggest more than get medical advice. Try contacting mind, I hate to say this but if his mental health is putting him at risk it is possible for you to request auctioning. Always a last resort and his behaviour would need to be severe enough for a psychiatrist and an amp (specially trained mental health social worker) to feel it was needed. Good luck Czechoslovakia

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Thank you, it’s not good to know there are lots of parents going through this but knowing there are people who understand what I am feeling helps in a way. I want this to leave my life, I want my son back. For the first time there is really nothing I can do to ease the situation.

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Frantically, I am so sorry to hear this, it is our worst nightmare but it is only them that can do anything about where they are going. We are helpless spectators. It is heartbreaker, to feel our sons have gone we can only hope something will make them see sense. I am not having a good time with my son at the moment and just pray that I am doing right by not having him home, he just seems to get worse. Stay strong it’s all we can do xxx

[sad-and-tired]

Praying for you, it’s every mum’s nightmare and something that is in the back of my mind. He could have been arrested police won’t tell you because he is an adult. Stay strong xxx

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contact families anon, they run support groups to support family members of abusers. Have you got family who can support you and the children? maybe take the children for a break for you and them. Use this site, we are all in the same boat one way or another……good luck xxx stay strong for your children, they are the innocent ones in all this.

[sad-and-tired]

please listen, I am only just getting this message…..I have reached a point of my son almost threatening me because his phone has been disconnected and I wont pay to have it reconnected. What ever he needs that phone for it sure makes him desperate. xx we all need to stay strong

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