[sad-and-tired]

Lol I hope so. goodnight max xxx

[sad-and-tired]

Thank you. I will email you if that’s ok . Maybe tomorrow x
It is difficult not to try to get through to him but yes it does sound like nagging and it does wind him up. I used to go to yoga I have thought about starting again it may help. Funny but since he hasn’t been living here it’s been ok, I can get on and its peaceful, but when he starts to go on and on because he wants something I get uptight and guilty. Thanks for being here for me today, believe me you have been a great help xxx

[sad-and-tired]

funny how the so called mates disappear when they have no cash or no transport. none of them offer to help…..Max you are so right in everything you are saying, it is heartbreaking to see the child you have loved steal from you and break into your home, I cannot trust my son at all, whenever he was here I had to keep my purse with me. My jewellery went and when I found out it was him he just mocked me. Yes my head does know what to do, theres no turning back now. Do you know it may sound strange but I wonder if he even wants to go for this job, I sometimes think he doesn’t and he will be able to blame me for it, it feels sometimes that all he wants is an excuse for an argument. Well that will be something new wont it. xxxx

[sad-and-tired]

thank you both, and yes he is acting like a 5 year old….he has admitted doing drugs, but he isn’t an addict, addicts steal and beat people up for drugs. I reminded him how he stole all my jewellery. He is young and having a good time he says, so I asked him how many 50 year old addicts still think they are having a good time. Please god that he will pull it round or show signs of it like both of your boys. His texts are getting more and more nasty and I can understand it to an extent he isn’t getting what he wants, he says I am a f..ing retard, that’s not a new one either. He doesn’t seem to understand that being like this isn’t the way to get what you want. I really struggle with why he cant get his head around that….

[sad-and-tired]

you are so right, I am getting texts from him demanding petrol money or he wont be able to take this job and that will be my fault BUT he wants a weeks petrol money not a can a day like I usually give. When I said no he just text die. Lovely, I tried to call him but he text don’t call me, he is possibly in the pub and quite aggressive and nasty but hay whats new there…….x I thought by buying food at least he would be eating, I cant believe how awful he has become.

[sad-and-tired]

yes I am thankful too. It is good to know that people understand what I am going through and it gives me hope when I read that it looks like for some of you, things are improving. I think that spurs me on… I am not expecting an easy time over the next couple of weeks because as usual it will all be my fault, everything…..some of the things he says is my fault are just amazing and I wonder what planet he is on if he really believes that. I hope the day will come when he can look back and see what I actually did do for him over and over. xxx

[sad-and-tired]

yes again you are right, I know for certain that a big one for my son was coke but from my understanding he would take anything he could get his hands on. I drop food off to my son, but maybe now I have refused to keep his car on the road for him he wont even let me do that. (that is what we were doing when I saw him and his friend together) also ( I am such a mug) he said his friend needed 20 as they were doing his friends car up, and I gave it, I don’t know why…..now I am thinking what did they use it for. You saying your son told you to leave food in the shed sounds familiar, they just cant be bothered and don’t care…. Funny I went to bed early last night and slept really well but the minute I woke up (just now) I thought of him and know although it hurts me to do it, I AM doing the right thing for him long term. I so hope we get to the position you are in and I see some light at the end of the tunnel. Fingers crossed eh. xxx

[sad-and-tired]

Thank you for your support and I do need it at the moment. For someone who has been through the care system, you have come out well, I know its tough to be pulled from your family but sometimes (not always) it is the better option, I do know something about it. you are smart, articulate and obviously a wonderful mum, your children are very lucky. I keep saying to my son that when he is ready to ask for and accept help with his lifestyle I will be there for him, if I felt he wanted to get back on track I would move the world to get him the help he needs. You are right that once you start being harder it gets easier, it is certainly easier now he is not at home and I am being knocked up at 4.00 in the morning . I had to take his key away as I was getting up early hours and he had all sorts of people in my home and would bring female one night stands in. I had to stop it as I didn’t feel safe anymore. God so much has happened….
I went to drop some food off to him and his friend the other morning, I got him to get his friend to the door and was shocked at how he looked his eyes were wide and staring, he didn’t seem able to speak and when he did it was very soft and quet. My daughter who was with me was so shocked as she had nt seen her brother for a while and thought they both looked awful. My son has had a skin rash for some time which itches, doctor gave him anti histermines. I have been reading it can be a symptom of heroin use, which worries me…..do you know anything about this? I don’t suppose it matters what he is taking but heroin seems the worst. xx

[sad-and-tired]

I know that you are right, it just doesn’t sit easy with me…..but in my heart I know exactly what will happen if I set him up again, he will take my money let me get his car back up to date and then blow all his cash and let his car go back in arrears. I know that will happen, and when I think that I can be strong because I know I cant help him, not even if I gave him my bank card. It would never be enough. He has made my life a misery over the last couple of years and I don’t deserve it, I know that, I have only ever tried to help him. In return I get called a f ing retard etc. he isn’t my son anymore….so I will stick with it, and pray that he can find the strength to pull his self back round. xxx

[sad-and-tired]

Max, it all sounds so familiar. I keep asking myself if I had been a harder mum would he be different, if I didn’t care about him would be not be abusive. The answer I will never know, he now says he hates me and will never have any more to do with me. So far I am keeping to what I say, but I am sad, its not how I believe a mum should be, we do everything we can for our children, so to say no doesn’t seem right. I really pray that it will make a difference and I was going to say wont ruin his life but he has already made a good start at ruining his life.
He wont be able to get a bus or walk as the job is way out of town, but that’s not my problem, he knew when he walked out of his last job that his debts were continuing to go up. Good old mum will stump up again he thought but I cant keep doing it and why should I. It means nothing to him. You are right no one paid my way at his age, I worked hard and brought my own things, if I didn’t have the money no one handed it to me……
I hope in a while I can post something similar to both of you to say my son is turning things around, I really really hope so. xxx

[sad-and-tired]

yes you are right, just had a text from my son to say he is blocking me as because I wont pay car tax petrol, insurance and finance for car he will not be able to start his job on Monday. Trouble is its the best part of £1000 then an month in hand and then he will go back to how he was and just blow his wages and not pay his bills again. Who will then have to pay muggins here. Yes I feel guilty as hell but what can I do……..I feel really bad but I cant keep on it has to stop somewhere.

[sad-and-tired]

cant take no more, you are right, I have got to the point of seeing what my son has become, and what I need to do to best help him and that doesn’t mean helping him with money. He has to go to court in a couple of weeks for not paying his court fine, so he could end up in prison and he talks about this quite matter of factly. He doesn’t want me to go with him so what can I do, I imagine I will hear if he is jailed as his friend is going with him. Once I would have been horrified now I just hope that whatever happens it helps him, it will keep him away from the scum bags he is associating with anyway. xx

[sad-and-tired]

and of course your daughter is right, we wouldn’t accept it from a stranger, so why accept it from someone you have only ever cared for? because you don’t want to lose them I suppose. I am normally a strong person as well and spend my time walking on egg shells around him. How strange that we have all been through the same. Sometimes it feels like I am in a nightmare but sadly it isn’t a nightmare and all I can do is wait and watch and hope that things get better. xx you sound such a level headed person and very knowing, I guess you have been through a lot. I hope things continue to get better for you and your boy. One day I hope my son will look back and realise the pain he has caused at the moment he just doesn’t seem to care. x

[sad-and-tired]

thanks well he is certainly going to hit rock bottom soon. He isn’t there yet by any means but its coming. I just called him because he has messed up his sisters evening with his selfish demands and been told to f off ….hay nothing different there then. He hasn’t changed a bit. x I hope the day comes I will get him back but at the moment I don’t even like him

[sad-and-tired]

Do you know at this moment in time I am so angry with him. I saw him today with the friend he is staying with and I was so shocked at how bad his friend looked, not so much my son as I see him so maybe don’t notice. My poor daughter has just been pestered by him ringing over and over until she has gone out and given him a lift and petrol (his car ran out) his tax is out tomorrow, insurance will be cancelled in five days and car finance are chasing him. He has asked me for the money I have said no.. it sounds awful but at this moment I don’t want to see him again, he is bleeding me dry. He has ruined his own life and doesn’t care who else goes down with him.

[Author]

Posts