Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I really think that’s the saddest part – the what ifs- my son had a very promising career and he gave it all up for a girlfriend who introduced him to coke! I don’t think he has ever forgiven himself for leaving his job for her – ( she finished with him once he was out of uniform) looking at his peers who continued, they are now looking at retirement and huge payouts in a few years – I believe he is punishing himself for this decision and has done since he was 19! He works hard to make his family home nice, saves and works all hours to make sure his children have all the things they need but he lets himself down every few months with a binge and self medicates with prescription drugs bought online . So sad as when you get through to him he’s so sorrowful – never having tried it myself it’s hard to imagine – I only know it must be amazing at the time for the risks they take and everything they stand to lose! Thank you for talking to me today – I have done a load of washing and cleaned out a cabinet xx It has helped so much ????????
Thank you so much for your response, I’m so sorry that you too have to endure such heartbreak! Yes the name calling is particularly hard – And I agree they don’t set out to be addicts! That’s even more heartbreaking and that’s when the guilt comes in. My son, I’m sure has an anxiety disorder and he has self medicated since he was 15 with various substances and behaviours. I have always tried to love him through setbacks but so much is at risk this time. Our week end was ruined along with my younger son’s and his family as we were called to a dispute at their home after they had just arrived at ours for our first after visit lockdown! Sending you strength. I have never been able to cut all ties as I believed there is always hope – now I am doubting myself – I know I would not have him home if he allows his marriage to fail. I will just be eaten up with what could have been, I’m sure you know what I mean – I want to love him but I don’t know how to without taking on all the chaos – if that makes sense. I can’t even cry anymore – I just shut down and hide under the duvet for days at a time. Lock down has been a saviour for me in not having to face my work colleagues and friends xx
Morning ladies, I have been in bed for 2 days now reading this thread! I could have written most of them myself over the last 20 years – I have never reached out in all this time and feel I have now given everything I have! I’m exhausted, heart broken and ashamed. My son has sucked the joy out of every happy occasion and made every sad occasion even more unbearable! My stomach flips every time I see a message from him or his wife. I live in fear of her giving up on him ( even knowing it would be better for her and the children) He has given me the most beautiful grandchildren – another torture to endure. I should be at work but just don’t have the strength. I love my first born more than anything else as I remember the wonderful son and daddy he can be! I’m heartbroken xx Thank you for listening xx