[shezzie]

I opened your post hoping to read some success stories… with alcohol – and was so saddened to not see any responses.

I am supporting my husband of 55yrs going towards his first community detox for alcohol… next week –
and have a successful friend of a friend coming to visit us in 2 days time.

I support your post – we need to hear good outcomes.

I went to an Al-anon meeting for families and no-none there had a success story is was soo tragic – I felt worse. Granted there may be other groups and other people there…

I’m joining my local family/carer’s group too – to try to get support – not just how to cope as an ongoing issue. But my sister has said maybe the success story people don’t attend anymore – and maybe that’s the case here too? To an extent?

I send hugs.

[shezzie]

Sorry Daisy… I meant to have put

“I can’t see that anything positive can be done via the health services – who are now getting moving – since I’ve said that he is now drink dependant/self medicating with drink and in the mornings too (9 months off work / 4 sets of pills / some private counselling )…

TILL HE’S PHYSICALLY/PSYCHOLOGICALLY FREE OF THE ALCOHOL

[shezzie]

Dear Daisy, your post resonated with me and my current situation. I am married and have a husband who has always ‘been a drinker’, he’s pulled back at times not having spirits or wine or an enforced break fro alcohol – though never substantial (after some upset time). I’ve drunk lots at times either socially or to relieve work stress in a past job. But it’s my relationship with drink that’s different – I can take it or leave it, often have runs of days with none and make sure I have 2 separate months completely off a year. His relationship is that it is a crutch, his best buddy and increasingly it has become the only way to cope with all the stresses of life (which I’ve rationalised are there for everyone, just in different guises). He has become so miserable… that there is no joy in anything and I’m completely miserable with it too. Threats have had no effect, care has had no effect, and it’s only recently that he’s seen it as a problem for him… it’s been ‘my’ problem. He blames the whole world for his suffering and now is off work with anxiety depression and is being assessed for PTSD. I can’t tell what is what and my whole life has been taken over by this daily struggle to try to support and move him forward to help.

I can’t see that anything positive can be done via the health services – who are now getting moving – since I’ve said that he is now drink dependant/self medicating with drink and in the mornings too (9 months off work / 4 sets of pills / some private counselling )…

We’re moving towards an assessment for community based detox but I don’t know if he wants this – for himself – everything I read says nothing will work ’till they want it for themselves’. I have no idea if he’s ready. I cry and scream inside everyday and hate my role. I regret many many decisions in the past and feel guilt – if only I’d done this or that. Then I’m angry and think I should just leave and try to have some life for the rest of my life…

It’s been a long time worry/concern and now it feel like a life sentence. I vary from motivated hope to complete despair.

In hindsight I would have applied the truth earlier – to the doctor, to family, but no-one else lives anyone else’s life… and there is no quick fix or clock rewind button.

I send hugs and hope you can find a way to a more positive and happier place – whenever that may be.

[Author]

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