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I was around probably 18 when my partner started using I had already been with him 4yrs by then, it then took me another nieve 5 yrs to find evidence (it was always there I just chose to ignore it) and still another 9 years on things have’nt changed promises broken heart broken 18yrs of my life wasted on a man who loves something else more then me thats why I told you to run because its always there eating away at you, you will always be wondering what is he doing looking for signs. Hindsight would have been a wonderful thing for me. Other people dont have a clue about things if they are not going through it themselves people are so quick to judge because its easy to do that when your not in the same situation do telling close friends wont really help you. Anyway I hope you make the rite decision for you. Take care x
Hi feeling abit calmer now I think its because hes gone and I can sleep knowing that everything is safe and I can switch off. He has text me tonite to say that he loves me and his babies and he will fight for us, to be honest its just empty words heard it all before blah, blah, blah. Told him I hated him earlier but truth is I just feel numb honestly its strange. He went to his iapt appointment hes got another next week (he will not be staying here thats for sure) he said it was good really opened his eyes (talkin to his mummy) he was gone for a good hour n half I did’nt ask him anything about it I was to hurt n angry with him and still am. Anyway enough about this rubbish how has your day been x better then mine I hope x
wish u were closer too could really do wiv a hug. i just know after last nite things are bad and fact is it cannot be fixed. Cannot live this way told him i dont want to see him anymore. he cannot remember much from last nite but my scars are visable from what he acted like n said n i cannot carry he expects that he can say what he wants n then claim he cannot remember well its not happening anymore why should i be mentally tortured he can go fuck hiself i am so angry n hurt rite now. x keep intouch x
Hi kelly well I am sat at my kitchen table crying my eyes out while he sits n laughs to family guy on tv. I am waiting for daylight hours to come. I agreed he could stay just for one night due to his appt for iapt tomoz and low n behold hes demanding money so he can buy tablets for his diazepam addiction and becos I wont give him anything I am the worst person in the world not that his words hurt me anymore he disgusts me. he has’nt acknowledged his kids and I think the time has come to let go I will never be enough for him neither wil his kids we dont look like a diazepam with 10mg on printed on us. so now I have to try n sleep thinking that as soon as my eyes shut he wil steal something I have my purse down my knickers (seriously) and my car keys in my bra. Told him he needs to stay away he is’nt strong enough to do this but its me thats the problem if only I would go to the bank at midnight or even better give him my bank card (its not happening). I know now that he cannot be bothered about me no man would sit n watch his partner sobbing surely n there u go he can its confirmation for me to let him go I cannot do this anymore. Thank u kelly for being u I wil speak to u soon xx
run run run i would’nt wish this life on my worst enemy it never gets better if u want a life leave this man and save yourself take it from the partner of an herion addict. please its not too late for u x
oh i love ur way of thinking lol. thank u so much u sure know how to cheer me up x
thats what i am starting to think that my love is confused with the man i want him to be the man he was before hes here now laid on floor infront of our son n daughter asleep and all i want to do is get a knife out of block n slit his throat powerful words but god just want pain to end really struggling today think because lil one been up through nite so really tired. They ant got a clue they just do a part time father job thats all they are part time parents n its pathetic n it pisses me off. thanks for reply i have too been accused of being a stress head but what do they expect all the shit we av to put up with supprised i am not in nut house. oh wait a minute that would mean a little attention on me thats no allowed is it.
and live in la la land while we live in the reality of constant pain caused by them and exhaustion. I am so pissed off really needed to just get this out sorry for swearing etc but OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE HIM RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!
Spiteful, self centered, ungrateful, uncaring, specimen of a man if you can call him a man thats how I am feeling today I hate the fact that when hes says ” what do yo want I am tired” over the phone to me. I look after our two children 24/7 youngest is poorly at min stressed up to my eyeballs n have all his shit on top and he can say that to me. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I must have done something really bad in a past life to deserve this shit. Like you say they can do whatever they want go out whenever sleep whenever chill out ehenever
i agree completely thats where it lies with me too. he was going on about a car hes seen its a mazda rx8 or sumat like that told him no way he could’nt afford corsa never mind sporty number n do u know what he said the cheeky b#@#**d well you would’nt be interested would you cus its sumat i want. :-O i wanted to drive a knife straight into him. the selfish horrid get!!!! why why why do we put up wiv there shit i am fuming x
another stressful visit god he does’nt even av to do anything n i wanna punch his face in. been to docs dint ask owt about nowt got his meds n hes happy wat a dick.
latest technology that was suppose to say until it decided to submit on its own. Why does’nt he take the dog he wanted it. Who knows whats going to happen hopefully one day we will both be happy might not even be with these men we can live in hope I suppose. I will let you know how he goes on, hes only got car for two days so after tomorrow no car i cannot wait he needs to see how hard it is without one and face consequences of his actions and that is without taking kids with him not like me having to take them everywhere. I just dread if anything ever happened to me what would happen to them. Scarey x
take care xx
Dogs are like children and yes I do know that breed and know they take alot of looking after cannot believe he put that statement on facebook I mean what a dick. Thing is I dont know about you but after having the kids my body has completely changed and my confidence is low so for me after it was lights out,curtains shut, cracks sealed and covers on and thats even if I had the energy after all the palaver. They should love us fat, thin make up, no make up looking like shit covered in baby sick they should love us regardless we have given them there children we sacrafice our bodies and what do they sacrafice absolutely nothing they dont even get up to feed them. My partner said to me its not fair that you get nine months off with kids and I can only have 4 weeks you dont realise how lucky you are. Yes I am so lucky my privates are failing out I am in absolute agony my baby has colic I have to take elder one to school regardless of how I feel we have to agonising periods smears mamagrams (when that time comes) yeah really lucky us, plus the fact that he had already been off sick for 4 months at this time I mean really. Told him yesterday how selfish he was said I sit back and think about all the stuff I have bought him and done for him and cannot think of one time he just turned round and said thanks his reply was well dont just think about it from your point of view think about the horrid thing you have said to me ( its all about them) I said only reason I said things to him is because of how hes hurt me in first place its just like we will never win. He comes over and sits and plays on his phone on my wifi instead of spending time with his kids I dont know about your TNSBH but mine has to have the latest technology phones, computers, tv’s etc and cannot afford to pay for them it gets me do mad hes the only one that does’nt work but has everything in theblatest
Hi matey hope u are ok xx
By the way surely the boss wont want him there for much longer 150 is’nt alot its more then nothing like lol Does the boss know why hes there the real reason I mean you always have that to fall back on just ring boss anonymously make sure u put sumat over your mouth to sound muffled and withhold your number sorted jobs a good un. Infact give me bosses number and I will do it for you. I supprise myself sometimes with these master plans lol x
oh n RIP to the roast was it chicken, pig or cow no I am sure it tasted devine. I have a visit wednesday hes got appt at docs wed pm and another with iapt on friday so we will see what happens with them.
oh just remembered sumat else vodafone network been down for a week n he asked me to go to meadowhall n ask em why well you can imagine what I said it had alot of f’s in it cheeky git tho yes I will drag our two children out in the pissing rain to ask why your bill is high and you cannot ring em, would’nt mind but I have to take the children wherever I go when he goes anywhere it makes him disabled if I ask him to take kids he like oh it dunt matter I will leave it, told him before they are not your adoptive children you are not a baby sitter thats how it feels to me he can go when he pleases yet I feel I cannot just leave them with him I have to ask all the time then he pulls faces. I could have sworn he helped me create them x