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Nope not really, we have my friends and their boyfriends (that are actually decent men!) but other than that he doesn’t see or really speak to his own friends. Which I think has done him good. I’m hoping once lockdown is over and he can go back to the gym etc he will meet new nice friends ????????.. He knows they aren’t his friends anyway, they are on the wrong path and if he goes back to his old ways he know I’ll leave. So it’s his choice really. xxx
Leave and concentrate on yourself! Do not put up with it any longer. You have your proof which you wanted. So what are you waiting for? Be strong and think of yourself & what you deserve! Play it to him then leave. You don’t even have to say anything. He will know.
I know it’s not what you want to hear, I heard the same. But you are better off staying out of his life whilst he’s in this state. You’ve done everything you can to help. He’s disrespected you massively and quite frankly doesn’t care about your feelings at the minute. Coke is such an evil drug and turns people nasty, selfish and unrecognisable. He needs to hit rock bottom then maybe he’ll be ready to quit, until then you’ll be fighting a loosing battle. Taking control only pushes them further away and more towards the drugs. Read my story it may help. Hopefully him loosing you will give him the push he needs to sort himself out! Stay strong xxx
Hey, well my partners friends are exactly the same. All of them. But he has distanced himself from them all. He’s realised they aren’t real friends. He sometimes speaks to them but he’s very clear to them that he’s stopped and doing well for himself. I just pray when we come out of lockdown that it doesn’t change! ????
It’s hard to know exactly.. Did you ask? Could be cocaine or something along those lines, just not sure why the bag is labelled H, odd one sorry I could help more x
Heroin? I really hope it isn’t but .. It also could be
That’s the thing. It’s hard to know what’s happening but I know truth always comes to light so I suppose I’ll have to believe in him until proven otherwise. And I do have the tests available if I have concerns. Thank you for your help. Good luck with the rest of your journey x
Yeah he suffered from it for a while and took the cocaine to make him feel better so he said, then addiction came. He’s been very open and honest. He even wrote a letter about everything. Would weed hide the effects if he had taken cocaine?
Thank you. We have drug tests already at home but I think because he’s done so well I don’t want to go backwards by starting to drug test him again. He doesn’t drink anymore but occasionally he has at xmas and new year and he was a very different drunk! He struggles to sleep some nights and has been very open that he struggles with anxiety (ever since he stopped taking that it’s come to light) I’m not into drugs at all but he does sometimes smoke marijuana. Mainly at night which helps him sleep? Would this hide it?
Hey Danman! Your posts have helped me so much. Thank you for your personal story on here. Can I please ask you a random question. As you have been very open about your previous addicted, would you say it’s possible to just have 1 bit ? Say at work in the afternoon then come home as normal, eat dinner, have snacks etc if you’d had it earlier in the day? And no changes to personality/eyes/etc. How long does it last? My partner wants me with him every day, not in a weird obsessive way but he says he sleeps better and feels better when I’m here (We do live together but I have my own house too so sometimes have a night on my own) I would know straight away when he was using before but he is 6 months clean now so he says, no alcohol or gambling either but I still worry alot even when there’s sometimes no reason to. I suppose if I see a slight change I assume the worse. Most days his nose is runny some more than others but he thinks he’s done damage from years of abuse? There’s no obvious signs apart from one night his mouth tasted funny and he had a really hot neck (random I know!) Which I mentioned to him and nothing.. Crazy how this turns us into detectives I hate it. I’m trying my best to trust him and put my faith into him but I can’t help but worry. He knows I’d leave if it happened again x
Oh girls I’m so sorry to hear your stories! Very similar to mine. Feel free to read my previous posts. It 100% sounds like he is doing cocaine. It’s such a huge giveaway. I literally turned insane I checked everywhere but I did always find something. Believe it or but hiding it in their socks seems to be the norm now days! I left my partner and literally left the country. But we are back together now and he’s 6 months without anything. If he ever went back to his old ways Id be gone and he knows it. But It really does drive you insane. They say the partner of an addict is most effected. Makes you question everything! Even though my partner is clean I still to this day doubt him and overthink/paranoid. It’s awful but please don’t do this alone. This forum has helped me so much and talking to friends and family. But sit him down and stick to your word. Stay strong xxxx
I’m sorry to hear your story. I’ve been in the same situation also. Cocaine is such an evil drug. My partner was massively addicted. But he denied it for months, to the point I had no other choice but to leave. It turned him into someone I didn’t recognise. I’d had enough, more difficult for those with commitments and children I understand but they becomes a point when you have to stop and put yourself first. Maybe me leaving was the push he needed, he was rock bottom but I had to leave for my own sanity. He is now 6 months clean, no cocaine/alcohol nothing. I’m very proud of him.
But he needed to want to stop for him. If they don’t they will continue to do it and push away those close to them as they are ‘in the way’ of it. My partner has been very honest about it now and he knows he bad he was and tbh he’s lucky I came back after everything but it’s difficult when you love someone and see how hard they’ve worked to make things right. I still worry for the future at times. Will he relapse and I don’t find out? Will he go downhill again and start lying? When lockdowns over will it start again? The damage is so deep rooted it’ll be a long time before I trust him completely. Maybe give him an ultimatum? It’s so hard I know! Stay strong xx
Hey,
As you can see from my own posts, I was in this situation. My partner was taking cocaine behind my back for months. Lied, even when I knew the truth. Eventually it all came to light and he admitted everything. Several weeks went by & we were great. Then he did it again and lied. I’d had enough. I left him. Told him to sort his life out. I’d been the supportive girlfriend, did everything I could but I was done. I’m not into drugs never have been and never will. I’ve seen firsthand how the awful the stuff is and the effects it has on people and their families. They become selfish, deceitful and manipulating when taking it. After leaving my partner he did infact sort himself out and he’s now 6 months clean. I’m very proud of him but they needs to want to stop for themselves. All I can offer you in advise is to stick to your word, you sound like a very supportive boyfriend and she’s very lucky to have you. Addiction is hard. If you see no change, then? You deserve to be happy and not always looking over your shoulder. I hope she manages to see the light also, she’s been using for a long time and that habit I’ve heard is very heard to get out of especially when your surrounded by it. Xx
Hey,
I completely understand how you are feeling it’s horrendous and does make you feel insane at times, trying to find anything to prove that they’ve taken it. I lost myself by becoming so obsessed with trying to control everything and stop him doing it. I eventually just gave up and left him and the country! Concentrated on myself and he has actually stopped now. Read my posts and you’ll see my story. However the paranoia and lack of trust stays for such a long time. I’m still working on it. If I didn’t see this difference in him and how hard he’s worked/changed his life I’d of never gone back. Stay strong and remember what you deserve. Xxx