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Hi Eavy, I totally understand your predicament. My Son is alone also, using crack and heroin, plus drinking and using prescription drugs now and then. I am also waiting for the knock at the door. It is only when you have lived through this, with a loved one that you can truly understand the torment, worry and misery that we suffer also. My Son like most peoples is handsome, witty clever compassionate and very loving, ONLY when he is stable on a methadone or subutex prescription. At his worst he is snidey, untruthful, aggressive and manipulative. I like yourself, have a very difficult job. I love my Son with everything I have but I don’t love what he does to himself me and my daughter. I have had to cut myself off from him because it is making me ill. I am on heart tablets and sometimes after seeing him feel so physically ill. He has been to rehab twice, second time my elderley parents remortgaged their home to send him to South Africa for 12 months detox and rehab. I am a Drug Counsellor yet I cannot help my own son. At the moment he lives alone, he is adament it is everyone els’s fault that he uses, His viens are a mess, he is forgetful and allows other drug users to squat at his place. I don’t talk to him daily anymore, I have chose to stay away from his flat because I can’t stand to see what he is doing to himself. I have now resigned myself to the fact that what will be will be. I pray to almighty God he can be given another chance to grasp help, and come back to me as my one and only Son. So yes Eavy, we know what it is like to suffer because of our children. x
Hi Shelby, My Daughter did exactly the same thing, allowed her brother to live with her and her family. Unfortunately like you, she learned he wasn’t being truthful, he was using every day in her home. I had to ask him to leave as she like you felt guilty. Unfortunately drug abusers are very selfish and manipulative they know how to make people feel sorry for them. think about your self, your life, your childrens lives and ask him to go. If he really wants to get clean, he will do it and you can support him while he is sober. He knows where he can get the help. Only professionals can help him. If he stays he will suck the life out of you, your life, your childrens lives and there will be nothing but misery, stress and worry. Release him with love. You know you love him and you know you will support him when he is being treated. You your partner and your children come first. Be strong, get some support for you. Hopefully your Brother will find a way of receiving the help he needs. xx
To Icarus Trust, Thank you for your support. I will look at the website. I am a drug and alcohol counsellor myself, but unfortunately can’t help my son, especially while he is using. 🙁 It is good to know there is someone out there who can offer me the support that I need for myself. Thank you.
Hi Georgie, I feel your pain also. Crack and heroin is a terrible combination to deal with. Sounds like your Dad needs help and quick before it is too late. I know all about the problems of these drugs my own Son is in a very similar position to your Dad. I have tried to leave him to it many times, he’s been addicted to it for almost 20 years. They have to want the help themselves and like my own Son it seems as though your Dad doesn’t yet feel ready to quit and get help. All you can do is tell him you love him when you see him, and try to deal with it by getting help and support for your self as I have done. I hope and pray that your Dad will be able to receive help and begin his journey of recovery soon. god bless you . x