[themidgetgem]

So I’m living with my husband . He’s a cocaine addict , for the last four years I’ve waited for him to change whilst he has treated me very badly . Sold my belongings, cheated with my neighbour . Ruined our home , financially and mentally abused me . But I’ve stayed because prior to 2018 I had a lovely husband for 18 long years then the cocaine came around . I left in 2019 and then returned again after a year as he had ruined our family home . I’ve tried to fix it but he has no respect for me our home or himself !
I genuinely don’t think he ever will . If I can give any advice at all go and leave him I’ve wasted 4 years of my life waiting and it’s just got worse what do we do wait another 4,5,8 years …. We could have moved on and had a happy life elsewhere.
I’ve applied for a house and hopefully will be out after Christmas I’m terrified . I scared of being alone , starting again with nothing and leaving my home . I’m scared of him moving on and changing for someone else but couldn t for me . We have been together since we were 15 we are now 4 kids later and aged 41 . I’ve sore t most of my life with him

it hurts it really does but we have to do what’s best for us not them they will never change the drugs always win

[themidgetgem]

It’s so hard is nt it I’ve been with my husband 25 years . I left him 6 years ago and then went back to him after 12 months , biggest mistake I made !!
im now planning and saving to leave for good this time . He hasn’t changed he’s not stopped taking drugs if anything he is worse . Cocaine everyday it breaks my heart to know I’m going to lose my home and all the money I’ve spent making it a home . He will lose the home when I’m gone as he won’t pay the bills .
anyone reading this don’t stay !! Move on !  You get one life so live it !  I’ve wasted 7 years trying to fix and help him ! 7 years I could have been living my life with my beautiful children

he’s destroyed me mentally financially and he nearly killed me physically, I took an overdose last year and ended up in hospital because he destroyed me so much . Don’t do it to yourselves move on and get away from the toxic life of drugs . Cocaine is the devil

[themidgetgem]

thank you

he’s still not come home , I really don’t know what to do I love him so much but I think I love the old him and I’m holding onto a relationship and future with my the drug free husband .
I do wonder can you ever get that person back ?
I miss him I miss our family

[themidgetgem]

So sorry to hear what your going through

it’s awful loving an addict .
can I ask Kulster , what made you stop using ? I’m desperate for my husband to see he is ruining his life . He says he hates me and no longer wants to be married to me which I can accept but I think it’s just the drugs talking

I’m desperate to get him to see but really do t know what to do

[themidgetgem]

No I have never taken drugs , my partner knew exactly how I felt about drugs which is probably why he kept it from me for so long . My partner is abusive when he’s not had it or is on a come down . I will not sleep with him knowing he’s messaging other women because he’s under the influence .

[themidgetgem]

Hi lovely

It’s awful , my world is falling apart . He hates me he has been slagging me off all day yesterday to his parents saying he wants me out for Christmas so he can spend it with his family . He uses everyday and is messaging girls and adding them on Facebook.

He really hates me and it’s so sad because I love him so much

I hope one day we will both get our happiness.

Keep strong !!

Sending lots of love

Xxxx

[themidgetgem]

Hi lovely

They will never choose you !! They will always choose the drug . Only they can help themselves , they have to hit rock bottom before they see what they had . I’ve been trying for 4 years trust me they never change it just gets worse . I’ve ruined myself trying to help the one I love . I know it’s hard I really do but for your own mental health and self esteem just leave now . If he wants to change he’ll stop and come back to you . I’ve left I’ve come back and now I’m stuck in limbo , it’s hell .

Xxxx

[themidgetgem]

I’m divorcing my husband . He’s abusive verbally tells me he hates me wishes o was dead .

Tells me he is single I’ve waited 2 years for him to sort himself , I’ve booked trips holidays meals and had them all threw in my face .

I’m lonely o do love him but who would put up with all that forever

[themidgetgem]

When I read your story it’s like I’m writing mine !! Why are all cocaine addicts the same ?? The girls the porn the messaging random girls thinking they are so wonderful

My husband has destroyed my mental health my self worth my dignity ! If anyone is reading this who is just finding out about their partners addiction … run run as fast as you can otherwise you will destroy yourself trying to fix them

Xxxx

[themidgetgem]

Hi navy

Thank you ???? I’m trying to be strong . I know I deserve better but he puts me down making me feel it’s all my fault

I’ve no where to go otherwise if just leave but renting private is so expensive I can’t afford

I cry everyday it’s like living in hell with no way out

Sending lots of love

Fingers crossed I get my freedom xxx

[themidgetgem]

Hi navy ,

Thank you for your kind words . To be honest I’m heartbroken that he can do all these bad things to me and say all these nasty things . It’s awful . I cry most days I don’t sleep .

He’s not the man I fell in love with. He’s changed I’m grieving the man he once was

I hate drugs they have ruined my life my family everything .

I hope your okay

Sending lots of love xxxx

[themidgetgem]

Hi love

I’m okay I’m just plodding on . He told me the other day he hates me wishes I was dead so hurry up and die , I was so upset .

I just feel in limbo I know I should move on but I feel guilty like I’m cheating or something despite him saying we are no longer together.

He still takes cocaine every day it’s pathetic I hate drugs and the way they have consumed my husband changing him into an awful human being

He is still messaging girls and god knows what else I give in . I’m just focusing on me and my boys . He said he’s going back to work in September so hopefully that makes him have a better outset to life.

I’m going to Iceland in November on my own it’s a birthday present I bought him

I really hope you get your happiness and have a nice time away

Sending lots of love xxxx

[themidgetgem]

Hi

I’m doing okay just plodding on . I’ve started back running to help clear my mind it’s hard it really is . He knows about the divorce and clearly isn’t bothered . He is still messaging girls and adding random people on Facebook, it’s so childish he’s 40 years old and is acting like a teenager. But I’m not wasting another second of my life , life is too short and we need to live it. I’m focusing on me and my boys .

I hope your okay

Lots of love xxx

[themidgetgem]

Thank you lovely ????,

I’m sure I’ll be fine I’m just heartbroken he was my soulmate .

Take each day as it comes baby steps

Lots of love to you too xxx

[themidgetgem]

Hi my lovely

My life has fallen apart . My husband has told me he dosent want me anymore . He is talking to other women he disrespects me too much .

I started divorce proceedings yesterday as I cannot take the way he treats me anymore . I’ve wasted the last two years of my life chasing after and trying to fix someone whom does not want to be helped and has no respect for me . He does not love me and never has any chance of changing himself and trying to fix our marriage.

I’m not leaving the home yet though I’m saving up then I’m buying something. He can live in his lifestyle he can be single and he can leave me and my boys alone . He is toxic and I wish I had never met him . I feel I have wasted the last 23 years of my life and that it has all been a waste of time and a massive lie

I’m glad your getting a result . But sometimes I just think there is no hope , I’ve been trying for two years and had nothing but abuse loneliness and disrespect

Sending you lots of love xxxx

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