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Thanks for the best wishes.
This drugs and alcohol disease is a twisty path.
I’m on 400mg Pregabalin and a couple of shorts of noddy today.
The road twisted back, but I know it twists forward.
On my drink and drug free days, I lay in bed till 5-6pm.
I am an artist and a performer and singer, and I need to find a way to get outside my window, and be among the trees there, as I feel like they are alive, and I can communicate with them, I sound a right blooming hippy.
I feel scared of them on my drink and drug free days and close the curtains when in bed, dissociating as I find reality hard.
May I find a way to get among those living trees without drink and drugs.
The lady I speak to is trauma informed.
Maybe I have a negative view of the NHS, I see them as having a punishment culture, “You used again, you are unreliable”
My CPN is just worried about overdose, as valium and opiates are not happy bedfellows, so, they do have a valid concern in that context.
I am not overdosing.
The opiate dose is so small, I took two pills, a really low dose, considering I used to take 15 of them.
The “high” feels strong physically, but has not cheered me up much, although, I might have been crying without it, as I could feel myself welling up, when I posted the first post, which is awaiting approval from admin.
The lady I speak to is trauma informed.
Maybe I have a negative view of the NHS, I see them as having a punishment culture, “You used again, you are unreliable”
My CPN is just worried about overdose, as valium and opiates are not happy bedfellows, so, they do have a valid concern in that context.
I am not overdosing.
The opiate dose is so small, I took two pills, a really low dose, considering I used to take 15 of them.
The “high” feels strong physically, but has not cheered me up much, although, I might have been crying without it, as I could feel myself welling up, when I posted the first post, which is awaiting approval from admin.
The lady I speak to is trauma informed.
Maybe I have a negative view of the NHS, I see them as having a punishment culture, “You used again, you are unreliable”
My CPN is just worried about overdose, as valium and opiates are not happy bedfellows, so, they do have a valid concern in that context.
I am not overdosing.
The opiate dose is so small, I took two pills, a really low dose, considering I used to take 15 of them.
The “high” feels strong physically, but has not cheered me up much, although, I might have been crying without it, as I could feel myself welling up, when I posted the first post, which is awaiting approval from admin.
The lady I speak to is trauma informed.
Maybe I have a negative view of the NHS, I see them as having a punishment culture, “You used again, you are unreliable”
My CPN is just worried about overdose, as valium and opiates are not happy bedfellows, so, they do have a valid concern in that context.
I am not overdosing.
The opiate dose is so small, I took two pills, a really low dose, considering I used to take 15 of them.
The “high” feels strong physically, but has not cheered me up much, although, I might have been crying without it, as I could feel myself welling up, when I posted the first post, which is awaiting approval from admin.
Thanks for your reply @RachBN.
Yeah I used the wrong term, I should have said “lapse” as I see it as falling off a bike.
I wouldn’t tell my NHS people as I am on a valium script.
A friend was on an opiate script and confessed a lapse to her mental health workers and they took her script off her, which I see as punishment, and no help at all.
I told my CPN I feel like using, and asked if a lapse would mean me losing my script, I said it in a way that was not fishing so I could use.
She didn’t know.
It’s a shame I feel I cannot be honest, however I am lucky to know a lady who used to work as a psychologist and she is excellent to talk to and understands the reason I have these lapses.
Hi, new here.
Unsure if I have habit, my first post is awaiting approval as profanity was picked up in it, (I don’t know how, but I am sure I will find out from admins in time)
I was on day 11 with no opiates, however, I took 60mg dihydrocodeine today due to a feeling of overwhelm and hopelessness, I hope to overcome without drugs.
My first post will appear on my profile once admin have approved it, more details there, meanwhile, love to all on this healing journey.
Relapse is just another part of recovery.