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Hey there,
Firstly, well done for being so strong and putting yourself and your children first. You have clearly been trapped in a hugely toxic and damaging relationship so the strength it must have taken to leave shouldn’t be underestimated.
It’s time to put yourself first. After living with an addict for so long, as well as caring and protecting 4 children, probably means you have been at the bottom of a very long list.
You need to start rebuilding your life, slowly. Think about your needs for a change, what do you want? Whether it be a new job, joining a gym, taking up a new hobby, whatever.
Small steps but as you take them you will move further away from him and the toxic life you have left behind.
Best of luck to you
Bump I have read your posts on here and am so sorry for the situation you are in. My son was released after an overdose in March ‘21 after the hospital promising us he wouldn’t be released without prior notification to us. It makes me so frustrated and upset to know that vulnerable people are let out of hospital in this way when they are so at risk.
I’m sorry to hear about your so called friend and your younger son being ostracised. Many people simply don’t understand – I’ve seen it myself with friends of 30 years avoiding me and not contacting me even though they know what has been happening with my son. That’s why I think forums like this are so important, at least others here are able to empathise and not judge as we are all here with similar experiences.
I do hope your son will be OK ????
Hello everyone – I am new to this forum and came on here this morning looking for support due to my son, and came across this thread. Sadly many of these stories are very familiar to me, but everyone’s strength and the support being offered is truly admirable.
My son is 21, 22 this May, and has mental health issues, ADHD and a chronic cannabis addiction (as well as occasional use of other drugs I suspect) He has had a number of mental breakdowns over the past 3 years since starting, and subsequently dropping out of, university. We have been fortunate to have been able to privately seek help for him with psychiatrists, therapy and also hospitalisation last year after he OD’d on anti-anxiety meds, and yet I’m writing this as he is again spiralling since December.
Very similar story to many I have read on here, and no matter what boundaries we set at home he continues to push us to the limit.
We are grateful he has a wonderful girlfriend who supports him and good friends, but he has a very strong self-destruct mentality.
I am waiting for him to wake up today so I can have yet another conversation about smoking cannabis at home last night (smell woke me at 1.50am) after repeatedly telling him not to do this.
Sadly I know this will not stop him, he needs to want to and he really doesn’t right now. But it affects his mental health, his ADHD, his ability to function, his relationships and also our mental health.
We also have a 14 year old daughter and trying to protect her from everything over the last 3 years has been so difficult and exhausting.
I am fortunate to have close family but ultimately he is not their responsibility and I don’t want to continue to burden them with our problems and worries, hence looking for support here.
Wishing you all peace and calm xx