[worriedsister]

hello 

mine started with cocaine and is now on crack… he takes it usually at the weekends. I hate it.
it’s breaks my heart it’s ruining our relationship just feel dead inside now.
I have children and I feel like I’m not doing right by them having him here he’s not their biological father.
the other night I came in and he was abusive to us all and is getting more angry too.

I am getting close to ending it as I don’t want this life for my children and I feel like a bad mother for carrying this on.

I have a sister who was a Coke addict using daily and left her kids with nothing it’s so hard they won’t change unless they are made to or want to.

I have no real advice coz I react terribly and it causes arguments we sleep in different rooms 99% of the time now to.
They need to help themselves first xxx

[worriedsister]

Hello x

so sorry Bella boo, I hope you’re ok xxx it’s just soul destroying !!!
my ex is trying hard he’s stopped using drugs but it’s been a month so let’s not hold my breath he got to three mths last time but it’s drink that is just as bad. That’s a massive trigger but I don’t think he will give that up.

he knows me and him won’t ever be back together unless he stops it all now he’s saying he realises what he’s lost…. But it’s hard to believe anything that he says now .

 

just time I’m happier without him and it’s what I needed to do xx

[worriedsister]

It is soul destroying because of yours is like mine without these poxy drugs he is a good good man with a heart of gold. He’s destroying himself but also dragged us down with him.
my ex has been gone a month and I miss him we talk and I’m completely torn between my head and my heart.
I said I would go and visit him next week to see where he’s at and if he realises how shit his life is without us.
mine holds down a job it’s once a weekend but also drinking too heavily.
if he doesn’t want to change then I can’t and won’t have him back.
I will be there as a friend but that’s it.
my heart is broken but I have to protect my child from seeing the states he gets in.

drugs are the absolute worst destroys everything and everyone

[worriedsister]

I am sorry you are going through this.
How often is he using or aren’t you sure??

why doesn’t he want it in a shared account? What’s his rationale?

sadly I feel (from experience) if he is an addict every Penny of his money will go on that. I have a sister who is an addict and she stole all of her children’s savings and my dads totally what we counted at least 10k prob more just to get her fix every night!
I also have a now ex partner who spends all of his wages on crack cocaine.
from personal experience . no you aren’t being unreasonable at all.
you have reason to worry!! Xx

 

[worriedsister]

I just want to say don’t feel like you can’t reach out. Whether we are living or were living with addicts or are addicts we are all in this together and here to help one another.
your post made me think how my ex partner sees things as he too is addicted to crack.
wjat you need to be proud of is the fact that you realise you’re in a bad place and need and want to change. Don’t stop there.
Rehab ??? Speak to someone a Gp anyone that will listen. I know some one who was on crack and heroin and went to rehab and he is now clean. It can be done. So well done this is your first step. Ignore any negativity on here focus on the good and get the help you deserve!!!

[worriedsister]

Thank you for your message x it’s nice to know I’m not alone but I’m also sorry to that you are also suffering the same as I am.
It’s the same problem as I know my ex is off the rails now he’s on his own living the life I guess he wants… but I know he doesn’t want it but he can’t stop either.
I wish it could stop, bloody drugs ruin lives . My hearts broken still.

it’s hard to go on without them when they have been a part of your life for so long xxx but we definitely need to find ourselves again and try and remember the pain they caused us.

I soent most weekends crying when he was here now I’m crying coz he’s not here madness xxxx

I hope you’re ok x

[worriedsister]

My sister was an addict and the only thing that stopped her was her becoming very unwell (not drug related) but she was hospitalised for a few months. Which looking back was a god send this was the only way she is now clean ( one year on) but I also had a boyfriend who i didn’t know was using cocaine and crack until a few months in to the relationship and he progressively got worse.
he then stopped and I put a post on here about having hope etc …. 3 months  later he’s back on it worse than ever. I chucked him out and it’s broke my heart so much but I know he’s not going to change. He said he wants to but next breath he says he doesn’t want to and won’t change

I mean he’s 45 so he’s prob right he won’t stop he’s lost everything his home and family.

I am devastated but you need to look out for yourself xxxxx

[worriedsister]

Although you feel like this please be aware of how amazing you are too. You realise you have a problem and you also want to try your hardest to address it.
I’m sure this is the first step to your road to recovery. So well done don’t beat yourself up too much.
I can’t help with much advice as I have a cocaine addict sibling and my partner is a crack addict. Both don’t see they have a problem.

good luck x

[worriedsister]

Thank you I really appreciate your message. I will take a look at the link you sent.
another weekend of him on it. Just can’t take this much more.
hopefully when he’s “normal” I will try and talk to him about getting help.
it’s hard when he thinks it’s not a problem as he works etc

however it is beginning to interfere with his work as he missed 2 days last week and 2 days a few weeks ago which means he doesn’t get paid.
if things don’t change I’m just going to have to tell him to leave as it’s destroying me. And my little girl will start being aware as she gets older.

thanks again x

[worriedsister]

I have no advice to offer you as it’s my partner and sister that are suffering with addictions.
however what I do know is you have made a step in the right direction and you want to change!

wishing you all the best x

[worriedsister]

Thank you some hope !
my partner has a drink and drug problem but feels drink is the main issue.
he says he can take or leave crack however I’m not so sure.
it’s devastating!
I can’t take much more it’s killing me as well him.

well done and keep on your road of recovery xx

[worriedsister]

Hello x

I haven’t been on here for a while but I am in the same boat.

I am sorry to hear you are going through this but you are definitely not alone and it’s so bloody hard

my partner of 2 years is using crack and heroin at times.
He is also a heavy drinker and I don’t know what to do as like you I am mad about him and we have known one another 15 years and I knew he www my soulmate. but now I don’t know how much more I can take.

He’s admitted her has a problem but says it’s the booze rather than the crack… however it’s all of it.
this weekend he has been off his face and hallucinating he was awake since Friday morning finally passed out at 2am today!
I told him I can’t cope anymore I’m literally crying at least 2 -3 times a week.
he packed his bags some time this morning to leave. But is currently passed out .

I have no advice really but for me it’s been 18 months and every time he told he would calm down. Which I think he did but he has waves of craziness and goes mad on it.
I have a child so I now feel I need to do what’s right by her as she will eventually be old enough to realise what’s going on.

I guess we need to protect ourselves I wanted to support and help him I’ve tried my hearts in bits the thought of this ending but how are we supposed to live this life forever?
can you live like this if they aren’t willing to change I don’t think I can.
I am resenting him more and more each time.
Which is I guess making me stronger however I know he’s got a problem an addiction and he loves us but when is enough enough.

this weekend I have just had it I wanted to get in my car and drive and drive and not turn back.
Im glad my little girl was away at her friends as it’s too much for her seeing me cry most weeks.

Please look out for yourself , try and help your partner see if he wants to make a change or try to?
Some people do change or want to try to change but sadly many fail and need the next fix xx x

[worriedsister]

Definitely not alone xx I hope you’re ok ????

[worriedsister]

Thank you x I’m so pleased that your partner has been clean for 16months it gives the rest of us some hope that it is possible! I hope he can continue I take my hat off to him x

I have a sister that’s a coke addict (daily user) and my partner uses crack I think once a week at the moment x

He says he wants to stop so I’m hoping he will I hate it x and actually can’t cope mentally with both him and my sister. X

[worriedsister]

Hi ????????

Sorry not been on here for a while….

Hope you’re both ok x

When my partner is on it he changes….

He is on a ‘high’ can be quite excited and upbeat… goes red under his eyes , gurns if he’s just done it.

Won’t sit still paranoid behaviours. Talks sh#t to people.

Cleans up sometimes lol

Hyped up

But I’m sick of it…. it’s after that drives me mad, not sleeping for 2 days this weekend roaming around looking like death, itching his skin. I can’t stand it anymore.

My partner isn’t my child’s dad…, he’s been in our lives a while living with us for over a year she’s mad about him… and this is what breaks my heart.

Her own dad is useless doesn’t bother and now she says she has a proper dad.

Obviously I love him too but I sit most weekends and. Cry.

Cry coz I feel guilty for having him here.

Cry coz I feel trapped because I don’t want to break my little girls heart chucking him out.

Cry coz I just want us all to be normal when he’s not on it.

He tells me he wants to stop but I guarantee you he won’t. He doesn’t even try… they constantly chasing that first hit which they won’t ever get again.

It’s heart breaking I can’t live like this much more.

But don’t want my little girl to hurt like she has with her own dad. But then keeping him here eventually if he doesn’t change will cause hurt too. I feel stuck x

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