Hello again, thank you for your kindness and sharing your stories. We all agree that it is impossible for others to understand the catastrophic effects of addiction and how it poisons the addicts and their families. My heart is permanently broken with it all and I have had to learn to ‘shelf’ it to enable to function and carry on. I wear a permanent mask on my face. Evenings can be particularly difficult as the day is coming to an end. Sleep can be an escape from the pain in my mind and the permanent heartbreak of wondering what my son us/isn’t doing. What is he feeling? Should I be reaching out to him? And then I remember the total fear of his presence and his abuse. This was for in excess of 20 years and u have tried. Truly heartwrenching and I hope that things may get better. However, I have also realised that I was getting burnt out with hope. My son is away from his children because of his addiction. What better incentive was there for trying to get sorted? My heart bleeds with it all and I have to learn to manage to live with this. I am thinking of you all. Please take care of yourselves; I continue to hope and pray for you all and your sons. Sorry for the late outpour, I hope to be able to sleep OK tonight, Sending us hugs and hope
