Thank you to all on this forum, its heartbreaking and also reassuring in the most awful circumstances, its so surreal and terribly real at the same time. It such a feeling to know that I’m not alone, although I feel so alone in my thoughts, especially when I allow myself to thaw out of my nubmness to all of my sadness and hurt. I kid myself a lot that I am numb but if I dig down just a little I am overwhelmed with deep sadness. My family know about my sons troubles, not all of the facts, but the main ones – he is a drug addict. I have had questions asking where it comes from, apparently there is a ‘reason’ and something must have happened when he was younger. I have a daughter who grew up with the same parents, the same house, the same rules, the same love and she doesnt take drugs. All I know is when he was born he just lit up the room, he was full of energy and did not stop. We now know that he had ADHD, undiagnosed from his childhood. I was told by the school, the doctors, specialist that he was on the ‘edge’ of a diagnosis, but not a sure case. Trouble started when he was around 14, he admitted this is when he started doing cannabis and ketamine. I had never even heard of this drug. Long term use of this drug has given my son a lifelong urinary track injury and he has been in hopital a few times because of the damage it has done to his body. He ended up in hospital a few times, trouble with police, suspended and expelled from school, in court, all since the age of 14. I know you all have similar stories, I have read them all from afar. I’m astonished at the similarities. So where are we now? Well, his last chance saloon was at his dad’s, that has come to an end and he had been given a months notice to leave. He has no job (he has had plenty and is well liked and loved at most of his jobs but on drugs he goes AWOL). He has had debts repaid for him, stayed at his grandparents, tried university, college….every 3 months it all disappears because of drugs. He is now facing homelessness again, he is back on drugs and he is in debt with no friends apart from a fellow drug addict. I don’t know what to think, my heart pounds when I think of the future. I have hope, but I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes homeless, perhaps on the streets again, with his guitar begging for money. I was in a black hole in 2020 when I found out he was on heroin, crack and cocaine. He has had help with drug councellors, been given a flat, been given medication privately for his ADHD, group therapy….and still he returns to drugs. He is an addict. I havent had a [proper conversation with him since last November, I have only just been given a mobile number for him. You are given only a few opportunities in life, I feel hes had his fair share and now he is on his own, and he is so very vulnerable. But he has stolen for drugs from shops, taken mponey from his grandparents and is no angel, there is no happy story for this drug addict. Anywat I’m not after answers, just thanks for allowing myself to share the truth to at least someone in this world, I share with noone else, my feelings are my own. Take care and thank you again. No doubt there will be more to this part in the next few weeks……
