Mother Of Adult Son

Good Morning everyone, I am new to this site.  My child is a grown man who has substance abuse problems, severe depression and anxiety.  This has been going on for many years.  I have always tried to help an be supportive, and up until covid probably he always worked and managed to hold things together.  Of course covid brought it’s own problems and things went downhill from there.  He’s not had a job for quite a while now because of his problems.  He has tried CGL a few times at my request but says that does not help.  I’ve lost count of the times I’ve contacted mental health and asked for their help as he’s talked about suicide many times, but anti depressants haven’t helped and after 6 weeks are discharged from their services regardless.  I have a close friend who is very supportive but am mindful of how much one person can keep listening to even though they assure me they are ok – after all they have a life too and it’s not their fault. People say look after yourself and I have tried but am now at the point where – and I could have gone on holiday now but – could be a million miles away but I can’t get away from the fear in my own mind of what is happening.  I feel I am watching him slowly die before my eyes and am powerless to stop it.  This thing is killing the both of us – and I don’t even take drugs.  I know there is no answer but just wanted to talk anonymously to others who are in a similar position.  Thanks for listening