- This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by icarus-trust.
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July 14, 2014 at 4:55 pm #4274leeParticipant
She met him 33 days before leaving for Thailand to teach ESL. He’s the one she told her father and I. He tried talking her out of going to Thailand. We found out about the addiction right away.
She said he’s clean not her problem. I knew right away he was not clean.
He has only spent 16 days in a drug rehabilitation facility. He said he was s role model.
He’s 26 college graduate ~ no job. My daughter is 23~college graduate in Thailand until September.
He is grooming her. It’s like he’s
manipulating her and prompt ting her with what she tells us
We had him over for dinner and when he left I happened to notice that a very special piece of my daughter’s jewelry is missing.
We as a family are frightened and have less then a month until she returns to him.
I need to know what to say when we Skype ~ it’s killing me. -
July 15, 2014 at 4:08 pm #8562cant-take-no-moreParticipant
Be there or your daughter, and trust her…..Show her the love of your family, but tell her about the ring going missing..and check it is missing and not misplaced……..She is an adult and deserves the truth….however it has to be her decision to come to the conclusions about this guy….Its hard when our kids grow up and perhaps make the wrong choices..as parents we have to be there,yet they have to lead their lives themselves….hugs x
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November 6, 2014 at 9:38 am #8937icarus_trustParticipant
Hi Poppy,
That is a very difficult situation, but it is one you may need to discover the answer on your own. The Icarus Trust provide Family Friends for you to speak to, who has been affected my addictions too – so they can relate to similar situations. Often speaking to someone and letting it all out is the best way for you to discover what it is your should do. You can contact them on info@icarustrust.org or go to their website http://www.icarustrust.org.
Best of luck!
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July 29, 2014 at 11:01 pm #8592skParticipant
Its really difficult but I have always said that if my daughter was in my position I would tell her to run a mile, after all my heartache I would never want her to feel the way I do down trodden and trapped by love corney I know but true. I am only in my early 30’s and feel more like 90 thats how bad it is and by the sounds of things hes already digging his claws in. Drug addiction takes over every part of a relationship and the real victim will be your daughter for putting up with it. Tell her to run and don’t look back.
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November 28, 2014 at 7:09 pm #9017cant-take-no-moreParticipant
Oh my, how sad I felt for you ,reading this..Hunni, please please please get help for your drinking..your life doesn’t have to mirror your parents…you were badly let down as a child, and unfortunately addiction has many victims including fsmily who have to be in the throws of the misery..it’s not their fault, it’s an illness, but until they want help there’s not a lot you csn do…what you can do is take care of YOU…please you are important, and deserve to be happy..counselling and therapy may help you understand too….hugs to you sweetie….and take care xx
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November 28, 2014 at 10:12 pm #9018lolipopParticipant
Addiction is a terrible thing for anyone especially a child who has no understanding or control over what is happening to their family . I am so sorry that you had such s horrible time growing up . You deserve to be happy in your adult life and you have made some really good healthy choices for yourself. Please go and speak to someone about how your feeling they can help you continue with your recovery and build on all your hard work . Sadly your parents May never have your strength and quiet courage to change but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy . By sharing your story on here you give hope to people like me who like me have a loved one who struggles with addiction I wish you great joy and happiness in your life take care
Love lollipop xxx -
November 30, 2014 at 10:30 am #9019vinceParticipant
Hi
Untill they sit you down and come out of denial and tell you the truth, then from my experience you can’t trust them, the only one you fully need to trust and worry about is your fiance if you can trust him and talk to him then you will be fine, look after your own new life but keep an eye on your parents from a distance and maybe one day your parents will wake up, maybe.
Good luck
Vince -
December 2, 2014 at 11:20 am #9022icarus-trustParticipant
What a very sad story. I feel really sorry for what you have gone through but you are brave and strong and can get help for yourself.
Icarus Trust is a charity which supports families who like you have been affected by addiction. We have trained volunteers called ‘Family Friends’. These are people who have had experience of addiction in their own families. If you get in touch with the charity they will put you in touch with one of these. They will talk to you, listen and understand how you are feeling and be able to signpost you to any further help you may need. It does help to talk, especially when you know that they have had similar experiences to yourself, so hopefully you might give it a try.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I really hope that you find this helps you.
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