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Jo bob, I know that feeling….you are enabling your son, and each time you give him money you add to his addiction..stop giving him money..if he wants to do cocaine, no amount of money will ever be enough…get support for yourself, because simply talking to others makes life more bearable..the best thing I did was to stop all the help…money, food, paying his bills….wish I’d have done it much earlier…hugs to you xx
Children don’t ask to be around addiction….your priority has to be your baby,,I’m a mother of a recovering addict,who has a small child. I worked closely with baby’s mum to keep stability in the home, and whilst he was addicted decided he could only see the baby when not using….he felt I was taking sides, but that was far from it….he can understand why we made the choices we made, and thankfully. He plays a big part in his sons life..he now works to provide, and is trying his hardest to remain clean if alcohol and drugs….every clean day is a blessing xx think of your child, because whilst he is using. Life for you and your child will never be normal…take care x
You don’t have to be part of the addiction Hunni….I made the hardest decision I’ve ever made as a mother,and told my son while he continued to use I was done,and didn’t want to see him or speak to him. We went through over 4 years, and after facing facts, it was the only thing left to do….addiction left its mark on every family member. Enjoy your Christmas as much as you can with your daughter and mum..they deserve and you deserve a peaceful time…take care xxxx
fi, I’ve emailed you…sue (frantic mum) if you want send me your email of link to fscebook ..would be good to keep in touch xxx
Sue n fifi, both of you helped me get through some dark days…..addiction is a curse and anyone who is in the throws of it, is a slave to it….Friday night my son relapsed again….I had a feeling when he came to see me..call it mothers intuition…he rang Saturday and said yet again he had made a wrong choice…..I haven’t said anything….I know it’s one day and his relapses are getting more and more far apart, and I know it’s part of recovery, but I’m mad as hell…hense why I haven’t said snything..I read a poignant post from an ex addict on another group which resonated with me…my words just add to the addicts failure….so my mouth is tightly shut….I feel his disappointment, but I know he has it in him to change his life…if only he knew it too….so when he decides to talk about it. I shall recommend as always added support…..through the support given,I have learned to switch off,because I know when an addict has it in their mind to have one last go at their drug of choice. There’s nothing I can say to change his mind….recovery is a path of twists and turns…..ahhhh well, sending both of you a peaceful time, think of your own well being, because we cannot control anyone’s actions but our own..that’s a hard lesson for any mother…hugs xxxxx
If you need any support Hunni im here xxx
Hey Fiona, so glad to hear from you…and doubly glad your son is doing as well as can be expected…God works in mysterious ways, and I truly pray he gets through his time in prison..please send him my love, and tell him to stay strong …have a peaceful Xmas dear friend, we must stay in touch…if your on facebook let me know…hugs Hunni xxxx
Hey Vejar…..circumstances don’t help but your son is classic..blaming everyone but himself….time and time again I read from other parents how their kids blame them..it’s a cop outs! My son did it, made me feel useless, and he never saw drug use in our house..your girls WILL NOT be taken off you and that’s fact! So stop worrying…your husband has changed, and Social services will see that…..be strong Hunni,and never stop believing you did your best…..hugs xxxx
Hey Frantic mum…hugs Hunni…so sorry you still haven’t heard anything…..my heart goes out to you. I know it must be hard, so won’t post any cliche comments..here for you my love if and when you need that shoulder…..hugs Hunni xxxxxxx
Oh my, how sad I felt for you ,reading this..Hunni, please please please get help for your drinking..your life doesn’t have to mirror your parents…you were badly let down as a child, and unfortunately addiction has many victims including fsmily who have to be in the throws of the misery..it’s not their fault, it’s an illness, but until they want help there’s not a lot you csn do…what you can do is take care of YOU…please you are important, and deserve to be happy..counselling and therapy may help you understand too….hugs to you sweetie….and take care xx
Hi Ann, I am so sorry to read your story….it’s hard. Frustrating,annoying and extremely frightening..I know because my son was the same…after 4 years I told my son not to contact me until he made better changes…that meant getting real help! He had no real place to go just like your son,but as hard as it was I just couldn’t cope anymore…so my son went to a drug and alcohol centre, was assigned a counsellor, went to the Job centre, got himself a job and then rang me…that was. Early five months ago, and yes he has relapsed, 3 times, but after each time he’s got back on the recovery road. It’s not easy, he fights it every day, and has even got support from his doctor, and has also been assigned a psych Counsellor. Them more people supporting him, the better his chances..I have been there every step of the way, BUT it was ultimately down to him. I’m in s couple of support groups, have read everything I can get my hands on to try to understand this terrible illness….you need just as much support as he does, but the biggest thing is remain strong…perhaps encourage him to seek professional help, because the brick wall will come, and it’s at these times he will really need it……I cannot believe that for this moment in time my son has returned. To the caring, happy, loving son……but I know that can change in a minute . Only you know if it’s right taking him back, but making it too easy for him isn’t the answer..massive well done to your son for taking g the first positive steps of becoming drug free..hugs Hunni, here checking in most weeks if you need to chat xxxx
Hi debs, my son is in recovery from alcohol and drug use….and you are so right…it’s what’s going o. In his head now, that’s the real problem…I’m thankful he is getting help from some great people..his counsellor, a psych councellor, his doctor and of course his family…every day is a struggle, but he fights for his sobriety….he is damaged, but reached out at the tight time…we had some great news yesterday…he got himself a job end of August and his boss has asked him to go for supervisors role…just the affirmation that he is valued, boosts his self esteem….you are on the right path, so keep doing what your doing….mum and dad must be soooooo proud! Hugs and love to you x
Debs, massive well done…what a very brave woman you are. I hope you are getting professional help, if not just for the support….and what wonderful parents you have…take care sweet heart, and keep fighting to stay clean…one day at a time xxx
Hi Gill, firstly well done to your partner for getting help…that’s such a big step for him…I may be wrong but I wonder if he lied to perhaps keep you from knowing the truth, scared he may loose you? Please don’t let the label “drug addict” define the person you love. I’m sure you feel at a loss what to say,snd no one can tell you,….hugs Hunni, it’s hard but you sound like a caring partner. There’s plenty of people here who live with addicts, or those trying to recover…..take care xxxxxx
Wow you sound like my son use to….he was an addict, and believe it or not said exactly what you have said..the unfortunate thing is addiction creeps up on you….give it another six months, a year, and your world will / could look very different ……Hunni, get to your GP now..make the changes now before it’s too late. My son had over 4 years of hell.we all did..it was stressful, scary and that’s the reality of drugs…if you can get support from family…hugs to you ..you deserve a clean happy life xxxxx