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Hi Lindyloo,
Good to hear that your Son has decided to try again, I hope that payday has gone well. I think if you can see them trying it’s a bonus.
My Son has got himself a girlfriend, which isn’t ideal, but I see no effort from him at the moment at all, which I find really disappointing. I’m not saying he’s back on it, but I know he has the odd drink. Like your Son says they think they are missing out, I really don’t understand this at all, do you? I find it all very frustrating and think to myself is this how it is always going to be, not something I look forward too.
I hope you are well and that your Son perseveres this time.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Kate,
You did everything you could for your Son, please don’t blame yourself, I know this will be extremely hard to do, as Mums we love our Sons unconditionally.
Thinking of you at this very sad time.
Take care.
Dx
Hi,
That sounds great, especially all going together, a great support network, and well done for arranging it.
My Son is doing ok, but just ok, not seeing much effort these days, and he has got himself a new girlfriend, which of course is up to him, but he then stops doing everything else, which I find mad, lol. He was going to the Gym every morning but hasn’t been for the last few weeks and he always said that it made him feel good.
The Euros being on doesn’t help, but I can’t change that, he’s a big football fan.
Keep going Danman, your doing great.
Take care.
Dx
Hi Calli111,
Hope you got on well at the Doctors, and they have given you something to ease the stress etc.
It’s very frustrating when you can’t get the answers you rightfully deserve. Is there a family member you can confide in or a good friend? I’d be lost without my friends to talk to.
The Icarus Trust is another place which you could contact for help, they sometimes post on the Forum too.
Keep in touch on here and take care.
Dx
Hi Danman83,
So glad to hear you are doing well, that’s great news. You’ve been keeping yourself busy which is great.
Keep going and take care.
Dx
I think lots of people on here will,have had experience with the same thing.
Look through the other threads and you might get the information from them.
Always go with your gut, it’s not a good feeling but usually right.
Dx
Hi Stephie86,
I think your partner maybe trying to kid herself that she can use occasionally. I think if she does it will just make her want it more, I may be wrong, and this is just my opinion.
Drugs control the person, not the other way around, which is sad but true.
Dx
Hi Cali111,
Welcome to the Forum.
You will feel better for just sharing your story and getting it off your chest.
Obviously your Husband is an Addict, I don’t know whether he has admitted this to you, but all the signs are there, the money, the lies, not coming home.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine, and of course this is where the money goes, it’s a very expensive hobby.
He will only get help when he wants too, and if he wants too. It’s an evil drug and changes them into,people we don’t recognise, but it is also a living hell, which i wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Have you got close friends or family you can talk too?
I know it might sound harsh but knowing what I know now, I would run for the hills and concentrate on yourself, hopefully there is no children involved.
Look after yourself first and keep in touch on the Forum, read the other threads, there are some very sad stories.
Take care.
Dx
Never think you are on your own. Nobody judges on here and it’s a great place to come and get advice.
Dx
Hi Mb9345,
Welcome to the Forum.
Your story is like so many others on here, you need to read the other threads and see that the pattern is always the same with the addicts.
None of this is your fault, they have to blame someone, but never themselves.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he is doing just ok at the moment. He had been to rehab twice, but I don’t see any effort being made at the moment, so I just take a step back for now and I wait till the next time that he thinks he’s going to try, it’s not ideal, but this is my coping mechanism at the moment.
My friends and family know my situation, you need people to talk too, and with his family blaming you, I would definitely tell them the truth, at the end of the day what have you got to lose?
They will only do it when they are ready and who knows when that will be.
I would have a good long think about what you want with your children, I wouldn’t wish living with an addict on anyone, it’s like living in hell. I know it’s an illness, but only they can get themselves better.
I don’t want to sound harsh, but it’s not a life I would of chosen, but because he is my Son, I stick around for now, but there is only so much you can take.
Keep in touch on here, read the other threads and take care of you and your children.
Take care
Dx.
Hi FJM,
Welcome to the Forum.
Please get someone else involved, your too young to deal with this on your own and your Father needs help. I would talk to your Grandmother or Auntie as soon as you can, you do not want your Brother being in the car with him whilst he is under the influence of alcohol.
I hope this helps and your certainly not a coward. This is a great Forum for support.
Take care.
Dx
Hi EloiseT,
Welcome to the Forum, it’s a very good place to share your story and to be able to chat with others in a similar situation.
There are on line zoom meetings for AA, loads of people use this, you don’t have to say anything until you feel able too, but listening to others could help your Husband.
Take care.
Dx
Kate I’m so sorry for you loss, can’t imagine how you are feeling. Just know that you did all you possibly could of done for your Son.
We are all here for you.
Dx
Hi Jamie00785,
Welcome to the Forum.
You’ve done the hardest part by sharing your story on here, I hope you feel better for getting it off your chest.
There is lots of great advice on the Forum if you go through all the different sections.
There are on line zoom meetings that you could do, you don’t have to say anything, just listen, it might be a great help.
You’ve made the first move, it’s little steps, but just try and carry on, one day at a time.
Take care.
Dx
Hi CazD,
Welcome to the Forum.
Your words really hit home and I remember the constant going on and on, they don’t stop unless we give in, and I like you used to give in all the time, but it’s not the right thing to do as I have learnt.
I think my Son (30) is playing at Recovery at the moment, he lives at home with me, he has a job which he earns good money from, so I don’t have to give him any now. My only thought about the money is why does he keep asking for money now? Is he still using? My guess is that the money is for this.
I think you have to be cruel to be kind, turn your phone off when he is on a rant, and I know this will be hard to do, but you have to start thinking of yourself.
Read the Theresa thread on here, there are lots of Mums, mostly with Sons who are addicts, it hopefully will help.
Keep in touch on here, take care.
Dx