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Can I just ask, has she always been like this or is it something that’s happened over time?
I ask because I try and support my OH and try and encourage him to get/stay clean. It goes round in cycles. He binges, then he’s sorry and says he’s done with it usually when he’s no money left, he stays clean for a week or 2 max and all the while I’m putting 100% into helping him, supporting him, even changing things to remove triggers and then he goes and does it again. I’ve noticed that the reason I get mad and upset is because I truelly believed that was it, fresh start and it all unravels again so I feel let down and like I’ve wasted time and effort and failed him even.
And to make it worse I’m keeping myself away from doing stupid things and I think he’s not interested in staying clean yet I’m able to so why can’t he? Makes me angry and on the odd occasion I feel like doing the same as him since he doesn’t have to quit. Cant have support for myself from him because that would be an obvious trigger for him so i have to cope on my own but help him at the same time. I’m just annoyed. Really annoyed. I give him tools and support to quit but it’s not enough. So now it comes back to why I asked – I feel like I shouldn’t be giving him support and encouragement because he has thrown it back in my face soooo many times and that’s also not fair because now I’m the bad person.
This prob makes no sense but if it does I hope it helps you understand from another view
Ring the police, this isn’t right at all. This could end badly if you don’t get help soon as you can. Alert a neighbour you can trust asap. Let us know how you get on as it is worrying.
No probs, enjoy your day with your lad tomorrow and remember those days with your kids are the ones you live for 🙂
You will get there honest, I only get the feeling every now and then. When I do I just do something else. Oh and I became addicted to my ecig instead!! Lol! I have enough to keep me busy trying to keep other half on the straight and narrow which also doesn’t help coz I think why’s he having all the fun. But then I remember what it does and realise it’s not worth it.
Don’t forget, these people sell it to make money, don’t be their easy payday….I’m done funding their lives and the bigger sharks nice fancy cars and houses.
Hey, I agree with others don’t be hard on yourself. I found that when I quit it, it wasn’t so much the taking it but more the having it if that makes sense. I can relate to your situation a lot, you prob asked for it because it was an opportunity at that moment where you felt you had split second to take it or leave it. Next time you might look at it differently, I looked at it like – well I can get it, but really what’s the point. I will feel crap and low and like I’ve let myself down. And if I have money to spare for that then I should just buy something for my kids. That worked. I felt I had to retrain my thoughts. This also helped me feel like I had a choice, if you feel you have a choice you have more control.
I’ve ditched all social media, I don’t regret it and it’s helped massively.
You have the strength and inner will to do this!!! Take care
Keep it up Danman, it will get easier. My OH is trying to get back on the straight and narrow still. I guess I can say he is trying. When he last had a craving I mentioned something that stuck with him….I said that when I feel like setting fire to a bank note I’d let him know! Seems to have resonated with him. I also told him about that pocket rehab, absolute godsend thank you, you have no idea how much that’s helped. He needed to feel like he had some sort of control over his use and this helped give him that. Just being able to talk to others who understand instead of me and my empty head helps! Haha! Are there a few of us from Bolton on here then?
Hi, sorry your sister is in this situation. I think there are links to support on the home page for this website. Usually local councils have outreach services for families of addicts, try under the carers section. My local council has one called CASH. There will be something close to her it’s just finding it that’s a bit tricky!
If you are in Lancashire it will be CASH. Google it and it will at least give you an idea of what to look for.
In the meantime your sister needs to step away from her partners chaos. She doesn’t need the stress. I’ve been in her position a few times, including with a new baby and no job. I’m still in that position but I have taken a step back. I’m glad she has you, you sound like a fab support. I’m on here everyday if you need anymore help xx
I’m glad I can help just by listening to you. I have been through so many addictions with my husband, he is still battling everyday but he has some control back. He is still on a programme for opiate addiction and he is currently trying to keep on top of a cocaine addiction hence why I’m on here.
Yes inspire do keep everything confidential. From what I’ve experienced from my husband’s interactions with them the don’t judge and are there for the long haul. My husband relapsed a few times and each time they were there to get him back on track and never judged him. They are aware we have 3 children and have never involved anyone else. I guess they see that he is actively seeking help plus they have contact with him regularly so they know all is well. Honestly it’s the best thing to do. Our gp wasn’t helpful at all, he just told us to split up basically. Not helpful at all!
Are u in Lancashire?
Please don’t feel ashamed, lots of people get/have addictions and lots of people get through it. Everyone is different. I’m sure you are a fantastic parent and I can tell you love your children more than life. You are seeking help so you can ensure you are there for them to see them grow. You will get there. Let me know how you get on, I will keep checking in to make sure you are ok 🙂 xx
First of all, social services will not take your kids away. Especially when you are seeking help. Google drug dependency charity/care providers. That’s your first step.
Codeine is addictive because the liver turns it into morphine. That’s why you got sick going cold turkey. You need help to come off it comfortably and safely.
In Lancashire there is a drug advisory called Inspire – they have key workers and doctors who specialise in this and can help massively. They will not contact social services. As long as you engage and stick with getting help it will be fine.
My husband was addicted to opiates, then addicted to codeine which replaced opiates. There was never any concern for our kids because he was being treated. That’s the most important bit. You won’t be judged. I’m more worried about the paracetamol to be honest, you risk having a build-up overdose more than anything. You need to find a drug dependency service asap. If you need any more advice just ask and I will try my best. X
And it certainly does not mean you are a bad parent or person. X
Co codamol is not a good – the paracetamol alone will kill you. Please Google a drug outreach charity near you. Where are you based roughly? GPS tend to be less helpful but only you know if they are equipped to give the right help. You are doing the right thing by seeking help.
Unlikely – I doo see where your coming from regarding GPs, we also had an unpleasant experience with them. In the end my husband spoke to a local drug dependency charity/care giver. They assigned him a key worker who was able to get him access to a doctor who works alongside them and was able to give prescriptions without prejudice. With their help he got off the codeine and also managed it so he was able to kick both the opioid and codeine addiction safely.
The care provider was able to keep his medical stuff separate from gp records too. Honestly, I do not know where people would get help from if it wasn’t for the charity/outreach because the general GP service is shocking. I was told basically to walk away from my marriage as nothing could be done. Just like that.
Google local services, get a feel for what help is there. If it’s any help and your in Lancashire then Inspire and CASH is the help for this area. Maybe Google Inspire and see what they do so you know what you are looking for. Good luck and I really wish you all the best. If I can be of anymore assistance please just ask.
Codeine is processed by the liver and it creates morphine. This is the true addiction. I think that the albeit brief reading of this thread the levels you have now reached need to be managed safely by a care provider who can give proper advice on tapering down and ensuring safe reduction.
Just to put this in perspective: my husband came off buprenorphine using codeine. Buprenorphine is a morphine/opiate blocker and substitute.
Can I suggest that you speak to someone in drug/alcohol dependency to get advice, I feel that this is a serious thing and don’t want anyone to be coping with dangerous and uncomfortable withdrawals. Good luck and sorry if I come across as condescending. Xx
Lil
You need to distance yourself. Build your own finances and back off from the situation. I’m in similar position and have done this and it helps massively. Like you I’m not prepared to leave and have been with him 14 years. It hasn’t changed but I’m in control of my own life now which is all you ever can be. X
Stick to your own reduction, the appeal will be lost if she’s on her own with it I guess. Never really seen the appeal with speed or come across anyone who does it this much to be able to help. It’s def destructive on the body that’s for sure. Sorry I can’t add any more help