[georgie1410]

Thank you so much – it means so much what you have written. I will try to take your advice. As for his girlfriend – I have really no understanding of how she can believe him when he barely sees – her because he prefers Ket. She has a beautiful loft apartment and they can be together freely but he prefers to be with his ‘stress trigger’. I wonder when she will realise I have been right all along or if she is just blindly in love – she never reaches out to me and that hurts a lot.

[georgie1410]

I’m new to this thread – but yesterday my son told me I have been the worst mother and I am the reason for his addiction.

[georgie1410]

I’m new to this thread. I’ve joined because my depression is making me feel suicidal…I cant face waking up. I’m on medication but it’s not helping.

My son is a Ket addict. His father was an alcoholic who died in his sleep when my son was five years old. We both have PTSD because of this event.

My son started taking Ket at uni – to fit in and socialise but quickly became addicted.

It has destroyed our once very close and loving relationship – now he is doing it daily and denying it. He is in his room most of the time, I wish I had somewhere to go but I don’t. My family are very religious and know nothing, his fathers family no nothing, my friends no nothing. I am totally isolated and lonely. I confronted him a couple of days ago and he became aggressive. I just dont know how to communicate with him anymore – he has told all of his friends and girlfriend that I am paranoid because of my dad – but of course I’m not. I see him the way others don’t and his girlfriend is very naive – she believes I am his ‘stress trigger’ because he told her that. So now she hates me and thinks I don’t help. I asked him to move in with her and I would pay – just to get him out of the house and so she could see the level of addiction I have to tolerate – but he won’t. The problem is he owns half of this house due to inheritance – I kicked him out a couple of times last year but he came back. I am grieving for my beautiful blonde haired,blue eyed little boy. I don’t recognise him anymore.

The advice I want is this – he is leaving to do his MA at the end of the month. How do I get through these next few weeks? Because believe me, every minute right now feels like a year and I am sinking fast. Please help me.

[georgie1410]

Can someone point me to the Theresa thread?

[georgie1410]

Thanks for the replies so far. I am on antidepressants – but today I was actually thinking I could end it all easily. I feel so lonely – my family are very religious so they know nothing. I feel ashamed to talk to friends about it. I really am starting to feel it’s my fault and that is why I need to talk. I am very isolated and he is starting to scare me with his confrontational aggressive approach. He said I am a stress trigger and the cause of his addiction – that is what I am starting to think.

[georgie1410]

I went through this 16yrs ago. None of this is your fault, no matter how long you were with him the reality is your life never really began. You have always been held back by the addiction. You have to grief, and maybe you will never get over this but for me I got a degree and I moved on and enjoyed other aspects of life I had missed out on. Unfortunately I am going through this again with my son so I have no answers but you have to take care of yourself and your daughters. Addiction is a form of slow suicide. It’s only when the person realises they don’t really want to die that they stop. We cant make the choices for that person – it is people like us that love/care too much that tolerate this for years and years… and in a way enable that person to continue their addiction through our unconditional love. But that doesn’t mean you are to blame, it means that we are afraid we will hurt them more by giving up on them – so we too are learning a lesson that that is really not the case. They choose their ending – you now have to choose your new beginning and remember him the best way you can. Much love and prayers for you and your family.xxx

[georgie1410]

Recovery is life long – and even if he relapses – at least he has tried.xx

[georgie1410]

My partner tried everything – but alcohol was his gateway drug and cocaine got him in the end. He died of an enlarged heart at the age of 46yrs. It was horrendous – I have no answer for you but deep down he was a deeply unhappy man and I don’t think he wanted to stop. I hope you have a happier ending….I don’t think any of us deserve this.xxx

[georgie1410]

Thank you Lindlyloo – I’m really struggling at the moment. My depression is taking over so I’m finding it really difficult to hold back my feelings – and then I worry that I’m triggering his addiction. I can’t speak to anyone about this. I’m in a really dark black hole, my husband died suddenly when he was 5yrs old so we both suffer from PTSD. I literally have no one to share this with. I just can’t see any light, I’ve lost all trust and we used to be so close, he lies constantly to me and his friends.

I can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel – just more pain and struggle.

[georgie1410]

Totally agree with Beth1025. For your childrens sake please get rid of him.

[georgie1410]

Thanks Toni – that’s really helpful. He’s moved back home and has been off ket for a few weeks. He understands the dangers to the bladder and we have discussed mushrooms – but where to start? I wish there was some professional help out there to guide and advice re micro dosing – and why not legalise? Alcohol is just as bad and he seems to get anxious on cannabis…x

[georgie1410]

My partner died at the aged of 46 from heart failure due to alcohol and cocaine. My son found him and he was only five years old. I suggest you ask him to leave until he gets himself sorted. The children must come first. My son still has PTSD and he’s 21yrs old.

[georgie1410]

Its good to do the right thing even if you just put one dealer out of action it could save a life.

[georgie1410]

Hi Sarah

I reported a dealer my son used to crimestoppers – its totally anonymous and you dont have to give any personal details.

However – there are plenty of other dealers out there and they always find one if they need one.

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