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A lesson has been learnt and it will make you wiser. It’s not starting again it’s a journey. GF’s bound to be mad but she knows the temptations are out there only too well. Onward and upward Danman.
Daman, don’t be too hard on yourself.
You have been doing really well and you know it’s not going to be easy. You know yourself that you have deleted social media and don’t socialise with these people. Now you know that temptation is going to be there when you bump into friends, you can do something about it.
Don’t neglect us we are here to support you and we like to hear how you are getting on, plus you can help so many people on here too with your experiences.
Go easy on yourself.
Mikey, keep logged on here.
If talking isn’t your thing write on here how you are feeling. I’m hoping that you are feeling a little better after your stint in hospital.
You need to keep keep away from temptations and it’s hard but that includes friends and family that partake in cocaine and alcohol if thats the trigger.
Danman does have a lot of advise, he’s been there.
As DNAnon says you must nip it in the bud now before this ruins your life. Your partner says he hasn’t got a problem but taking cocaine in the first place is. ‘Nagging’ him won’t help, but he needs to know you want it to stop. Also he needs to want to stop. If he doesn’t I’m sorry but there is nothing you can do.
I wish you both well.
We read them all anyway DNAnon, I didn’t even notice till you said. Had to look twice.
Not good news you not getting your card. I had my fingers crossed.
I have not been out and about I feel uncomfortable. I have a few parties coming up so hopefully I will be ok by then.
I did think about gardening for Danman now he’s fed up with reading stuff. Weathers getting better now.
Nasty words and you help him out a lot too with money. He’s cut off his nose now to spite his face.
Hi Danman. Glad you are keeping off the stuff even with the dreams.
I can understand the drifting, I feel it gets a bit draining and I get quite teary with the posts. Like now…..We do need to start new posts as they do get quite long and go off kilter.
I don’t go on fb or instagram now, like you say it winds you up seeing everyone happy when we are clearly not.
Have a good weekend whatever you do. As the decorating must now be finished.
You do really need to speak to your husband calmly about his addiction and how it is affecting you and your children.
Let him know what you have told us on here about how you feel and how you have felt like leaving out of desperation. Be honest with him and yourself. Can it get any worse if you do?
Hopefully he will realise what he is putting you through and will seek help for his addiction. But like Danman says you have to want it and cut all ties with your cocaine triggers being it friends, family and alcohol.
I wish you all well.
I’m sorry to hear that this mothers day is a sad one.
It looks like you have hit the nail on the head with him being addicted to cocaine. I suppose it’s hard to admit you are an addict even though it’s plain to see and hear on the Louise Clarke videos.
Hang in there, you can only help when he accepts that he has an addiction.
It doesn’t matter how anyone has been brought up, good or bad in their opinion. We all have a choice whether to do cocaine or not. My husband had a very strict but good upbringing but he sniffs cocaine.
I agree with DNAnon, sounds like he is using with his erratic behaviour and confidence.
I only had to check the pockets of jeans, trousers and jogging bottoms before putting them in the washing machine, to find little plastic packets. Sometimes with coke in and sometimes ones that had been used. Don’t forget to check the tiny pocket in his jeans, it’s the ideal size for a bag.
Even if your boyfriend thinks you are being negative you are only doing it because you care but this will put a stain on your relationship as you are onto him and he is trying to hide the fact.
My heart goes out to you, it’s a lonely life.
It is the behaviour of an alcoholic.
My sister is the same abusive and violent when she is under the influence of drink. But this is the majority of the time. It has been hard to handle over the years and her husband has taken the brunt of it. She cannot remember some of the things she says and does.
Nothing changes until they realise they are an alcoholic and want to do everything not just something about it.
Take care of yourself.
DNAnon that’s brilliant news, it is a start in the right direction. He is thinking about you even though he’s not in touch as often as you would like. I’m so glad that he has responded to you and has made you feel good.
Husband is still in touch but only when he wants something from the house. He says he will do things for me then doesn’t. Still says he doesn’t love me but then says he misses the little things we used to do together and that he’s upset too. I cannot understand him I have to ignore him as it hurts too much. He has now admitted to me that the court case has been getting to him and that he has been thinking of all things negative.
I’m trying to keep strong but I do have my better days and the really bad.
Keep you chin up. Lets hope for better days for all of us.
I have been there myself. Loving husband abusing alcohol and taking cocaine. Disappearing. The come downs when he returns, the physical symptoms. They can be good at hiding their addictions and will lie and manipulate.
There is no comfort for us until your partner acknowledges he has a problem and seeks help. Only he can do this.
Emotions will not come into it, the coke sees to that I’m afraid and my heart goes out to you.
I hope he sees the light soon before its too late. All you can do is be there for him when he needs you so look after yourself and be strong.
Too hasty a decision on his part. I hope you can work this out together I really do. Going to counselling and meetings together is a good idea and I hope he feels this too.
Hopefully my sister and her husband could do this eventually when she proves herself sober and the anger has subsided. You have given me something I can put to her to give her more motivation and look forward to a future back with her family.