[joanie59]

Hi to everyone on this thread

I have been supporting my son for many years with his binge drinking as you may know from previous posts

The last episode in November made me realise I had to be with him I really thought he was killing himself

I took him to his gp at his lowest

As I thought his actions were a form of self harm

He had servere gastric problems depression and alcohol withdrawal

He was skin and bone and unable to eat

It has taking months of caring for him to

Get him well physically

But finally I’m ready to go home

He has worked hard himself to get back to work albeit still from home

He is having counseling he’s joined some social groups put weight on

And actually seems interested in life again

If it will last only time can tell

My mental health and my relationship has suffered I felt I have been going mad these past months I’m tired look awful

Im no hero but I have done my absolute best

I going home tomorrow he has said he will come to me for Easter

I just wanted to share a “good “outcome ????

As we all know the despair these addictions bring

Love and prayers for all

Remember to try to take care of yourselves

Joanie 59

I will keep you updated

Xx

[joanie59]

Hi Ivy

I think you are so brave

I hope your son has some improvement in his condition

I can’t imagine how difficult it’s been for you both

I’m glad he’s being well looked after

Words aren’t enough at times like this

The reality of these terrible addictions

Come crashing down we someone

Actually hurts themselves so badly

You and your son are in my prayers

I hope you find some peace

Love Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi Jem

So please your son is showing signs of improvement

It’s a hard road for him It’s great that he’s trying

And that you have found a way to manage the situation and have a little control back

We all know it’s up to the addict

Do you think he would benefit from some counseling to try to unravel his past and see if talking helps

From an outsiders point of view sometimes they respond to someone else telling them how to feel good about themselves

My son is doing well he went to a “repair shop” session

A group were mending items to raise money for the Ukraine

He had a lovely e mail from them thanking him for his time and skills and how grateful they were for him attending

It all helps with his confidence plus it’s something to do and something to talk about

We are back here with him for 2 weeks but hoping to go home then for at least 2/3 weeks

Take the days as they come it’s all any of us can do

Love and hugs

Joanie xx

[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

Thank you my mum always use to say god loves a trier ????

It is great to be home

We have been having a new boiler fitted it went ok

Managed to see my other son and his family it makes me realise what normally is I’ve miss them especially the three grandsons played dominoes with the youngest bliss

Went to a quiz night with friends

Going to a comedy night on Friday and for a Chinese meal on Saturday

May even go to the cinema tomorrow

I can’t tell him what I’ve been doing (not that he asks) because he has that selfish mindset and won’t be happy for me

How sad it is

Will pray for all our sons

Hugs back to you xx ????

[joanie59]

Hi Februarymarie

I’m sorry your son has been in hospital again I hope you are doing ok

I’m glad he’s out and talking to you

It’s hard to have positive thoughts when you have been down the hopeful road

So many times

John Cleeves once said it’s not the despair that’s hard it’s the hope I think that sums us mums up

I home for a week I can’t settle

Knowing I left my son to his own devisees

I have no control over this but it’s hard to accept

Take care of yourself

Joanie x x

[joanie59]

Hi Jem

I’m glad you have a friend to stay with maybe when the dust settles your partner and your son will calm down

It’s awful being torn between people you love

Where is your son getting his sleeping tablets

GP are reluctant to give them especially if other drugs are involved

Our boys are a terrible worry

I know my son was using the alcohol to blank everything out

I got to my wits ends

and told the dr he was suicidal and self harming which is the only way he got some help

The hospitals just patch them up and send them out

It took a while for him to get a referral

But in that time i wrote him a list of all the traumatic things that had happened to him it really helped him to see he needed help

The counsellor told him he hadn’t processed anything and started working through them with him

I not sure if he will get better any bump in the road sends him into a flap

Please look after yourself

It takes such a toll on us

I weighed myself when I got home

It’s a great diet being continually stressed

I am so grateful for you and the other mums who post on here

We all know what we should do but doing it is very hard

Take care

Love Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi lindyloo

You are kind your comments are always positive

Which really helps

It’s hard to think things will be different

I like all the mums on this thread would almost do anything for my son

But have come to realise I can’t sacrifice my life

I’ve put it on hold to give him the support i felt he needs

I hope I can let go soon

Thoughts and prayer to everyone posting on here

Joanie ❤️ X

[joanie59]

Hi Jem

I’m sorry you son is unwell again and hope you have managed to sort things out

It’s never ending and I’m sure you must be stressed out

Thank you for your advise

I have had my hair and nails done

And had a conversation with my son re coming home for a few days

I am home !

For a week the new boiler is being fitted on Monday

Obviously I’m on edge

But I think I’ve been getting on his nerves

How ironic

He hasn’t made any promises and I haven’t made any demands on him

Anyway we left at 10.30 this morning

He phoned me at 11.30

To say he had called in at a local wellness centre his counsellor had recommended and was staying there to do one of the workshops so not to worry if I did hear from him

He phoned at 4.30 me to say he was going for a drink Pepsi with the people from the session

So fingers crossed he may have seen the light

Hes booked at table for Sunday lunch when we go back

He also has a few arrangements to meet

With some groups later in this week

I’m hopeful but not confident it will happen

So don’t lose hope things may get better

Love Joanie ???? xx

[joanie59]

Hi Jem

Thank you for your kind words

I am good 4 hour drive from my home

Which is tricky it’s all along the flood route at the moment

I’m not confident with the drive really but I can get a cheap train ticket I’ve done that a couple of times

We are having a new central heating boiler fitted soon so we will both have to home for that it’s not fair to my partner to be there on his own

I’m just frightened to leave him

Sorry you have had a bad start to the day

You sound like a very level headed person

If you move you might just be creating another set of problems

My son is 49 too old to be living with me

I will try to have a chat with him

But any bump in the road makes him shake with nerves

My falling out with his daughter is off the conversation topics

He can’t cope with real life

Prefers to watch endless rubbish on the tv

What did we do to deserve all this hassle

I really hope things get better for your son

I

Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi Jem

Thank you for your kind words

I am good 4 hour drive from my home

Which is tricky it’s all along the flood route at the moment

I’m not confident with the drive really but I can get a cheap train ticket I’ve done that a couple of times

We are having a new central heating boiler fitted soon so we will both have to home for that it’s not fair to my partner to be there on his own

I’m just frightened to leave him

Sorry you have had a bad start to the day

You sound like a very level headed person

If you move you might just be creating another set of problems

My son is 49 too old to be living with me

I will try to have a chat with him

But any bump in the road makes him shake with nerves

My falling out with his daughter is off the conversation topics

He can’t cope with real life

Prefers to watch endless rubbish on the tv

What did we do to deserve all this hassle

I really hope things get better for your son

I’m in Swansea is that any where near you ?

Joanie x

[joanie59]

Hi all

I seem to be posting a lot

I’ve been with my son for nearly 4 months

My partner went home a week ago

He had things to do

My son is doing well not drinking back working from home on nearly full time hours

Having his counseling

Making an effort to try to meet people

He’s joining a couple of social groups

All going on the right direction

But I feel as if I’m losing my mind

I can feel myself fading away

Being nothing but a crutch for him

I’m 69

I miss my friends and family so much

I’m not sure how to get out of this situation

I don’t even think he realizes how unfair this is on me

It’s like Groundhog Day

I don’t have a car here it’s not rural but it’s too far to walk to any shops

And the weather has been awful so i haven’t even been able to just walk

I finally have a capture wardrobe because

I only have basic outfits ( jeans and jumpers ) ????

No reason to dress up my hair needs cutting my nails are not great

Where have I gone

I don’t think I’m depressed just In despair of this situation which I have created for myself

I’ve fallen out with my granddaughter

Quite a serious rift over her cocaine addict husband and money

Much as I’m angry with her i miss her texting me

If I leave and he starts drinking I will have achieved nothing

Sorry for the woe is me rant

I’m waiting to get up to repeat another boring day

Hope everyone is doing well

Love and hugs

Joanie

X x

[joanie59]

To Marcos

What are you doing on the site

Are you searching for customers

You say you are rich

But your soul is poor

We are all respectful on this site

But I’m struggling with you

I hope your children don’t follow the pattern you and your father are showing them

[joanie59]

Hi buzz 25

I understand you are nervous about posting on here

But we are all in the same boat searching for answers to help addict we love

I never thought I would know anyone with a cocaine addiction

My granddaughter had been with this man for 14 years 3 married to him

The absolute love of her life

A nicer guy you couldn’t wish for

Both had good jobs and they had a baby last year

He was sleeping in the spare room while the baby was tiny and ordering Coke to be delivered to the house and started an affair with a fellow cocaine user

She chucked him out when the baby was 8 months old

Still wanting the best for him and blind to the seriousness of the situation she has just given him half their savings which was over £3000

Because he wanted to clear some debts

I have fallen out with her and feel lost and angry that she can’t see what he wants this money for

I’m dealing with her alcoholic father which is a whole different story

So I agree with Emjay it’s hell

Try to get out if you can

X Joanie

[joanie59]

Hi Halo

I know exactly what you mean

Those brief times when you think things are normal you do normal things and spent time with normal people

Having a chat or going out

Then it comes crashing back in that you are dealing with irrational situation

I am in a bad state still staying with my son but I’m having panic attacks

And palpitations I’m not sure what’s going on

I can’t go to my dr because I’m not at home

I’m in Wales where the health service is different

Im trying to relax go for walks rest eat ok

My blood sugar is up the wall

I’m type 2 diabetic

One minute is ok then is suddenly drops

I’ve had a falling out with my granddaughter over her cocaine addict husband

And I’m not sure if I’m over reacting

We use speak or text everyday

And now I can’t bring myself to contact her

I’m sorry to rant on I know the solutions are in my hands just need to voice my fears and feelings

My son is fine ???? he’s working from home

Seeing his counsellor trying to find groups of people to go out with

Eating well

Even managed a glass of wine with his dinner on Sunday with out any bad reaction

I really feel if I’m going mad

Hope everyone is ok on this thread

Love and hugs to you all x x

[joanie59]

Hi everyone

How are you all doing

How’s the new year going

I hope things are getting better

I’m still with my son it’s 3 months now

He is sober and going back to work tomorrow still working from home

He has started the counseling again one a week at the moment

It’s been very difficult to get the sessions the state of peoples mental health is very bad after Covid and now all the cost of living rises plus all the other reasons

I feel like taking up the cause but to be honest I’m so tired I’m not sure I can

I really want to go home I miss my other family especially the grandchildren

I’m trapped here while my life disappears

Friends are contacting me less

I find comfort on this site

Take care

Love Joanie xx

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