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Hi Kate 60
I’m so sorry for your loss and to read your story.
Addiction is such a horrible illness, and it is an illness. I’m sure your partner knew that you loved him, and that you did all you could to support him.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
Take care of yourself,
Lx ❤️
Hi Charm, welcome to the forum where most people here have a loved one with addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice.
Thank you for sharing your story, I think this is your first step to recovery by admitting you have an addiction and want support. You should be proud of yourself for taking this step.
I wondered if you had read Jamesb story, he is a person in recovery offering good advice.
My son is 29 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions, he reached out for support 2 years ago.
He was in your situation, struggling, addiction spiralling, mounting debt, about to lose job, house etc. We helped him with some of the debt and he paid up the rest. He joined AA and CA groups, met others, formed new friendship and got great support from these guys.
He’s been through some tough times battling this but I’m proud to day he is currently 8 months clean.
He has to do meetings regularly and unfortunately had to cut ties with his usual friends. He has completed abstained from drinking- he has to, as alcohol is a trigger to using cocaine.
I wanted you to know that there IS a way out of this nightmare!
Please seek help from CA groups, they do them regularly online, and face to face. They do 12 step program- same as rehab centres, you get a sponsor who will contact you regularly.
You are still young with your whole life ahead of you, please seek help – don’t let this evil addiction take over your life. Stay strong.
Sending you hugs and prayers.
Lx
Hi Bump, just been catching up on the thread.
I’m pleased that your son has got a rehab centre and I pray that he will get the help he needs to control his addiction.
I’m sorry to hear you have covid again! It’s still doing the rounds here too, and I’m paranoid about catching it again. I hope you get well rested while you have the chance. I guess your immune system is just low just now.
I just wanted you to know I think and pray that all our sons get the help and continued support they need.
Sending you all my love ❤️
Lx
Thank you so much James.
The more knowledge we understand and learn about addiction, the more we can help and support our loved ones.
Stay strong, you should be very proud of yourself.
Lx
You’re more than welcome Bugs!
No need to feel alone with this .
If you click above where it says “share your story ” there are more pages . You’ll see the Theresa thread there. There’s about 10 or more of us mums who keep in touch regularly and we all support each other through the difficult times.
Stay strong, hopefully there’s light at the tunnel soon ????
Lx
Hi Bugs, welcome to the forum where everyone here has a loved one with addictions.
Thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry to read that your son’s behaviour is causing you distress.
My son is 29 and has dabbled with drugs since 14yrs, so I can relate to everything you’re going through.
I wish I had all the answers for you, but I wanted you to know that people here understand.
I think at this age you need to be setting him boundaries, what’s not acceptable etc. It is your home and he needs to respect it.
I know Adfam homepage offer advice and support also Drugfam. The Icarus trust posts here too.
I joined the Theresa thread here, we’re all mums with sons with addictions and the ladies are all very supportive and understanding. It’s good to know that you can chat to others in similar situations.
It’s difficult to support your son until he realises he has a problem and seeks support. Please look after yourself and others in the family in the meantime.
Sending you hugs, keep in touch.
Lx ❤
Hi Georgie,
Just hang in there, I’ve also been where you are. Their lives with addiction just sucks the life out of you. I always have to remind myself- that’s not my son talking- it’s the addiction. Your son is still there, but it takes a lot of courage, strength and determination to get clean. He also has to be the one to seek support- they won’t be told while this addiction has a hold of them.
Please try not to let it consume you as it does him. Take care of yourself, try to find pleasure in the little things. Let your son know that you love him but hate what the addiction is doing to him.
Please stay strong, think positive and have faith.
Always here to chat or vent
Lx ❤
Hi Joanie, please don’t beat yourself up looking for reasons why your son has an addiction. I’m sure he was and is still loved.
At the end of the day, they make these choices. I’m sure he had a good upbringing like all our lads .
I think with my son has undiagnosed ADHD and OCD. Whatever he does, it’s 100%- no off button, when his pals were able to stop drinking alcohol or taking cocaine- he kept on going unfortunately. Then the vicious cycle of addiction starts.
Thankfully 2 yrs ago he admitted he was struggling. Doctors offer no help with addictions, they are referred to addiction services who refer them back to Doctors- so nothing helps.
He joined AA and CA groups, relapsed a few times but currently 7 months clean and is helping others in the group now.
He told me his medicine is the regular meetings to fight the addiction. He’s only just started sleeping better, the withdrawal nightmares were awful for him.
He’s more thoughtful and shows his feelings now. I still look over my shoulder almost like ptsd, but I’m trying to relax a bit more. I don’t get too complacent as I know circumstances can change very quickly for people in recovery.
I still pray for strength for him and for all of us here that things will improve- I’m so sad to read what some of you are going through- you all sound like such loving, caring mums.
Sending you all hugs
Lx ❤
Hi sisterindistress,
Welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one who has addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice.
Thank you for sharing your story. I know this must be very hard for you. I know adfam homepage offer advice and counselling also Drugfam is available for support. Maybe they could assist you?
Living with a person who has an addiction is a nightmare. We went through the same with my son since he was 14. He had alcohol and cocaine addictions. I know about the aggressive and selfish behaviour, waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
Until he realises he has a problem and seeks help, it’s a very tricky situation to make them do something they don’t want to do. It’s also difficult to reason with someone who has an addiction or mental health issues.
In the meantime, seek help for yourself, look after your own health and well-being.
My son is currently 7 months clean, with help from AA and CA groups and meetings.
Take care ❤
Lx
Hi Charlie, welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one who has addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice.
Thank you for sharing your story, I think this is the first step you have taken. To admit that the addiction has taken over your live and seeking help.
If you scroll back a bit and read Danman83 posts, he is a person in recovery offering support and advice.
My son is currently 7 months clean, and only managed this through joining CA and AA meetings.
He says it’s the only thing that works, you meet others in the same situation, people who have been clean for years all offering support.
Keep posting here and let us know how you’re doing.
Stay strong my friend, people care.
Lx
Hi RedFox, he was ready to lose his job, no job = no flat=no car= no money to clear mountain of debt.
He wasn’t attending work, hanging with gf who was negative influence ie drinks, drugs, mental health issues. Thankfully, they parted, we helped with the debt, he joined AA and CA groups.
He has relapsed a few times but this is the longest spell now.
He can’t drink alcohol anymore or hang out with his regular friends or this will trigger him. It’s complete abstinence from booze.
He told me he needed to know he was loved, but only hate what trouble the addiction was causing.
You have to love them unconditionally, but at the same time let them know that some situations are unacceptable. Boundaries I guess.
Every day is a battle for them, its so hard stopping this evil drug. But what’s the alternative?
I pray every day there gets the strength to get through it.
Sending you hugs and prayers,
Lx ❤
Hi all, I’ve been reading your thread, I hope you don’t mind. I usually post on the Theresa thread, as we all have sons with addictions.
Thankfully my 29yr son is currently 7 months clean. A lot of it is determination and strength, but he couldn’t have done it and continued it without regular CA meetings. He said that he needs to go regularly as its his”medicine” to get well and stay clean.
The fellowship guys are so supportive, he can no longer drink with his usual friends any more as it will trigger him into using again. The alcohol is a trigger to wanting cocaine.
I hope this helps, we’re all here to support each other where we can.
I wish you well with your addicted loved ones.
Look after yourselves and your family.
Lx ❤
Hi rikrota, welcome to the forum. There are a lot of people here who have loved ones with addictions and some people in recovery too offering support and advice.
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time just now.
My son has cocaine and alcohol addictions. He is 29 but when he was a teen he partied way too hard than his friends. I didn’t realise it at the time but he was mixing drugs with alcohol.
He’s told me now he did it because it made him feel more confident.
Unfortunately he got addicted and he also has an addictive personality so he couldn’t stop when all his friends could !
I would urge you to seek help, you are so young and I would hate for you to experience what my son has been through.
Adfam has a homepage with counselling service also the Icarus trust. Is there someone you could trust or confide in?
As a parent I would want to know that my child is struggling. Please think about telling your family how you feel. They would hate to know that you have these fears and anxieties. There are coping strategies to deal with these without taking drugs or alcohol. This only makes matters worse.
Please seek help and support as soon as possible. Let us know here how you are doing.
Take care,
Lx ❤
So happy for you Dan!
Stay strong ????
Lx
Hi Dan, I wish you a Happy and Healthy New Year!
Great to see you’re on the forum helping and supporting people.
I seen so many positive replies about you!
Hope you settled in well in your new flat.
Keep on doin what you’re doin Dan.
Sending you hugs
Lx ❤