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Hi Debc
Thank you for your reply, I feel that you and I are in similar situations with our sons.
Thankfully it’s been okay so far, hes been enjoying having money to buy things and not due to dealers. He’s looking well and eating healthy but most importantly is attending meetings.
He is filling his weekend being active and meeting up with other people in recovery.
Yes, I agree, it’s easier to support them when you can see they are making an effort. Also my hubby has health issues and have told my son that stress affects it. He is showing more empathy than before thankfully.
Yes its very frustrating when they don’t seem to understand consequences of their actions. My son has always been that way.
But he knows he cannot ,absolutely cannot, have even one drink.
I’m so glad we all have each other here ????
I think and pray for us all daily.
Take care, sending hugs ????
Lx
Glad to hear you’re spending precious time with your children and taking in the views. You need to cherish times like that Dan.
My son relapsed again last pay period, hit it real hard. But he got a fright, the symptoms scared him.
He’s back on the saddle again, eating healthy, lost weight, going to meetings. It’s looking good, but its payday again, I’m hoping and praying he’ll stay strong., I saw the comment about meeting women, I did hint that he’d best stay away from women for the moment, but he’s 28 and feels he’s missing out!
I’ve got everything crossed he’ll stay clean.
Keep fighting the good fight Dan, you did it before and you can do it again!
Stay strong
Lx
Hi Kk1590,
Welcome to the forum, im sorry to read your story and about your son’s addiction.
I usually post on the Theresa thread as we are all Mums of sons struggling with addictions.
We are all too aware of this familiar cycle. It shakes families to the core. It consumes our loved ones and turns them into a person we don’t know any more.
Please know that you are not alone in this, others will give you advice and support or even if you just want to vent.
The forum also has advice and the Icarus trust posts here too.
There’s nothing that we as parents can do really, until they themselves realise they have a problem and want to seek help.
CA and AA meetings are a good place to start.
In the meantime, take care of yourself and any others in the family.
Stay strong
Lx
You and your family will most definitely be in my thoughts at that time.
Take care Kate ❤
Lx
Hi Kate,
Try not to keep punishing yourself but I guess that’s what grief does, you search for answers.
There’s not a day goes by when I don’t think of you and your family.
You are a good Mum who did as much as you could possibly do, and it’s the evil drugs and dealers who are to blame, not you.
Let us know when the funeral is and perhaps we can all light a candle that day?
Take care of each other ????
Lx
Hi Dan, good to hear from you and great news that you’re still doing well! I’m so pleased for you.
Keep up the good work, enjoy your lovely walks in Wales .
Take care and stay strong ????
Lx
Hi JB London, welcome to the forum. If you read Danman83 posts he is a person in recovery. He’s very supportive and gives out lots of good advice.
Relapses can happen unfortunately but this is common i believe.
Click onto share your story and just scroll back until you see his posts.
My son is addicted to alcohol and cocaine and every day is a battle for him. I’m so glad that you’re seeking help. For your sake and fir your loved ones sake.
Stay strong
Lx
Hi all, welcome to the forum. I would say that you’ve both had enough of this horrible evil drug and are ready to fight your addiction to it.
My son has cocaine and alcohol addictions, the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine apparently.
He’s currently clean, but every day is a battle for him. But he knows what the alternative is…..
Please seek advice and support from the homepage and the Icarus trust and join AA and CA meetings which are frequent, local and daily.
My son’s lifestyle has had a terrible effect on our family, we feel that our lives are on hold. Please try to stop before it gets much worse.
One of the members of the group has recently lost her son to this evil drug.
It begins and ends with the addicted person.
Stay strong and think of the effect it’s having on your health and your families.
Lx
Kate, I think of you and your family daily. I spoke to a recently bereaved friend and he said that after the funeral he felt there was closure.
Such a hard and difficult time for you all. I think the bereavement support groups that Jem suggested will be good for you when you feel ready.
I remember around Christmas 2020 there was a post by Ty85 who , like you lost her son. She set up a petition to government for tougher sentencing for dealers.
I wish there was something I could say or do to help you Kate, but I do pray daily for us all here.
Always here for you my friend ❤
Lx
Yes Dan, how’s things going with you? Thinking and praying for us all here often.
Sending virtual hugs
Lx
Thinking of you and your family Kate. Try not to keep punishing yourself, this could have happened to any one of us. Our sons have addictions and every day is a battle for them.
As February Marie says, he has finally found his peace. But It’s so sad for those left behind who are grieving. Ill keep thinking and praying for you to get through this sad time.
Lx ????
Kate, there’s no way we can be there constantly for any of our family. Your son and ours are tormented by this addiction and every day is a battle for them.
We as mums can only do so much. Please don’t punish yourself.
Please seek some support and comfort from your family or close friends. Take each minute, hour day as it comes.
I’ll be lighting a candle for him tonight and praying for you all to get you through this difficult time.
Lx
Kate, i’ m so sorry, there are no words that I can say. I can’t even think of how you’re feeling right now. All I can say is that you could do no more for him, he would know that you loved him.
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers .
God bless you ❤
Lx
Hi Tigmemke
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Addiction takes so many lives and so many families like yourself having to deal with the aftermath.
I’m not an expert but I think perhaps that it was a sudden phone call with the sad news, you are still in a state of shock, even after 4 years. In the UK there is a grief counselling service called Cruse who support people like yourself.
I believe that she loved you but the cruelness of addiction causes them to act selfish and have no empathy. Usually they will lash out to those who are close to them.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and he told me that it makes you selfish and uncaring.
They will only care about themselves and their next drink/fix.
I believe deep down inside she loved you, but something in her past has caused her to drink to forget or blot it out. My son was told that most addicts have a deep rooted problem and the drink or drugs help them to deal with it. Possibly this might have been case with your mum.
Please look after yourself and seek help confide in a close friend or relative. Someone close should know how you’re feeling, or see your doctor.
Please look after yourself in the meantime.
Lx
Hi ladies, i just noticed your posts.
February Marie- I’m glad to hear that you met up with your son and he’s doing well. I’ve had that conversation too about the way they treat you when they’re using.
I guess you just have to focus on the present for the moment.
Just concentrate on yourself and the others in your family. This is a step forward for him I think- long may it continue! ????
68862 – I’m in the same boat as you at the moment. He’s spent all his cash, made himself ill, got into trouble at his work…..never again he says. So we’re getting him food and cigs to keep him going.
I’m reading ” mum can you lend me £20″ book recommended by Drugfam, its a hard read but you can totally empathise with the parents.
Thinking and praying for us all here.
Sending hugs ❤️
Lx