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Hi Callum, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. You have admitted that you have a problem with alcohol and cocaine and seek support. That is your first step to recovery !
If you scroll back a bit and read Danman83 or Jamesb posts they are guys in early recovery offering support and advice.
My 29yr son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine, so you need to stop drinking, and hanging around the crowd who drink and use.
My son has been using alcohol since 14 and cocaine since 17.
After years of hell, he came to us for help. Dealers after him, debt, about to lose everything.
He joined CA and AA groups, he has had a few relapses but to date thanks to the fellowship guys and sheer determination is currently 9 months clean.
So it IS possible, there are so many other success stories out there.
You will be pushing others aside as using cocaine desensitises you towards any emotion or care. My son told me this.
Please seek help from these guys Callum you won’t regret it. The meetings are everywhere and regularly. So you have no excuse!
Take care, stay strong and keep in touch here.
Lx
You’re welcome Jem, we’re all here for each other ❤️
Not sure about NA, but I know at CA meetings they are all at different stages in their recovery, or are encouraged to try to stop.
I realise that perhaps some need to taper depending on their substance used – but again, I’m not sure with NA. They would probably give you more info.
Fingers crossed and lots of ????
As long as he’s making an effort it’s easier to support them.
Lx
Joanie – so happy to hear that your looking after yourself and getting out and about!
Sending hugs and prayers to you and your lad too ❤️
Lx
Hi Jem
This sounds like a step in the right direction! I hope and pray this works for all concerned.
He needs your initial support and to know you’re doing it because he’s your son and you love him.
It’s also good that he’s around friends who don’t use.
It would be great if he could get involved with NA or similar group, as there’s some great support offered. But, baby steps Jem, this is a good start, you can’t do any more as a mum.
I lit a candle in church today for everyone here and people involved with addiction. I pray for their/ and our strength to fight these battles.
Stay strong, have hope and look after yourself now as best you can.
Sending you prayers and hugs of support ❤️
Lx
Hi Nobody,
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. So sorry to read of your son’s situation with cocaine.
Margot and Danman83 have offered you some great advice.
My son is also a cocaine and alcohol addictions, but is currently in recovery thankfully.
Danman has pretty much covered all the advice, I just wanted to say this has also worked for my son.
Joined AA and CA groups, attends meetings, 12step programme with sponsor and the fellowship guys are so supportive.
He had to stop socialising with his usual mates and stop drinking.
Instead he meets them for meals, bowling . He can afford this now and he looks well.
We had 14yrs of hell in the past – but it IS in the past. I wanted you to know that sobriety is possible if he really really wants to get well.
Read the Theresa thread, it’s all mums with sons with addictions all supportive of each other too.
Most importantly take care of you wherever possible ❤️
Sending hugs
Lx
Hi Joanie, I’ve been following your story on this thread. I’m so pleased that you have spent some time looking after yourself for a change. Having a son with addictions is very draining as everyone here knows.
This is some positive news Joanie, I’m so pleased to read this news. It’s definitely a step in the right direction.
It’s hard not to keep looking over your shoulder waiting for the next negative to happen. But please embrace the moment, this is progress! He’s taking steps to his recovery- that’s wonderful news!
Please remain hopeful and pray that he stays strong- that’s what’s kept me going.
Sending hugs
Lx ❤️
Hi February Marie,
I’m so glad that your son is safe and as well as can be expected after all he’s been through.
I hope after your talk together that there’s peace of mind on both sides. It’s a good positive start.
It’s similar to the conversation we had with my son after his last bad relapse. He wanted to know that we still loved him and wanted our support. It’s so much easier to support them when you know they’re trying hard to beat this addiction.
I still text him every night , whether I see him or not, tell him I love him, God bless ..etc hope he’s had a good day, I never ask too many questions, I let him do the talking.
I hope and pray that this is the start of your son’s recovery, and if not, sounds like he’s getting there.
Sounds like you are too February.
Good night and God bless
Sending you much love ❤️
Lx
Hi Debc
I’m so sorry for your loss. So much for you to deal with. It will be hard for your son too, this is a time when you would both support each other. I’m glad he made your tea and cleaned up- positives no matter how small.
My son would like a relationship, but based on the last gfs – has decided to wait a bit longer.
He’s doing well thankfully, helping others through the steps , I wonder if that’s God’s plan for him ? Who knows. I’m so proud of him. He’s unable to socialise with his old mates – too many triggers, it’s hard for him. The fellowship guys are good though.
I think of you all often, I hope and pray that all our sons find the strength to fight/continue this battle with addiction.
Look after yourself Deb, and your little grandchild.
Sending hugs ❤️
Lx
Hi Jem, I’m sorry to read your story, I had hoped that things would be better for you and your family. I wish I had the answers Jem, addiction is so cruel and how it has a knock on effect on everyone around. You are such a kind and supportive person but I know when they’re under the influence of whatever substance, it turns them into people we don’t know anymore. I’m sure, like I said to February Marie, your son is still in there .
I hope he’s calmer now and that the dust has settled a bit.
Please look after yourself, there’s only so much we, as mums can do for them. I pray he wakes up one day and gets the strength to fight this battle.
Sending you much love and prayers ❤️
Lx
Hi February Marie
I’m so sorry to hear this, my heart is also breaking for you. I hope your son will be okay and that he gets the support and attention that he so desperately needs.
I’m glad he hugged you- at least you know your son is still in there fighting this evil addiction.
I will keep him and your family in my prayers as I do daily for all of us here. I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Your daughters and grandchildren will help you through this difficult time. You also have to look after yourself February Marie.
Sending you hugs and prayers ❤️
Lx
You’re welcome Treasure.
My son had to stop seeing his friends, and anyone who might trigger him to drink then use.
So hard for them, but he has made some good friends through the fellowship and they organise weekends with activities regularly.
Click the above “share your story ” there was a recent response on it. It’s a long thread, but when you read through it, you won’t feel so isolated- everyone is so kind and understanding.
Stay strong, enjoy the simple things in life, be kind to yourself.
Sending hugs of support
Lx
Hi Treasure, welcome to the forum- everyone here has a loved one with addictions so people understand what you’re going through.
If you click the “Theresa ” thread below your story, there’s a group of us mums, all with sons at different stages in their addiction.
It helps to read the thread , and the mums are all so supportive of each other.
Cocaine is such an evil drug, it lures them in, and takes over their lives, turns them into people you don’t know.
The forum homepage offer advice and support also the Icarus trust posts here too.
My 29yr son has cocaine and alcohol addictions, the alcohol is a trigger for cocaine. About 2 years ago he was about to lose everything, job, house car, a mountain of debt, dealers at his door, it was a living nightmare.
He was ready to seek support.
He joined AA and CA groups, worked the 12 step program, got a sponsor and met others in the same position. But he also met others who were in recovery offering advice and support.
He had a few relapses but to date he is 8 months + clean and helping others now.
Every day is a battle, but it’s easier to support them when they’re trying hard. Please look after yourself in the meantime and just be there for him when he’s ready to accept help.
Take care, stay in touch here.
Lx
You definitely have not let him down. When they are under the spell of addiction, that’s all they think about. Nothing else matters, only the alcohol, weed, cocaine or whatever. It messes with their brain, they don’t think clearly.
Let him know you love him, and will support him when he’s ready.
But don’t enable him, speak to Icarus trust, they have counselling I believe.
For the “Theresa ” thread, click the “share your story ” and scroll down. You’ll see that you’re not alone. The mums offer words of support and advice, even though they have their own troubles.
I understand the “loss”, like you’re grieving for the son he used to be, I did that too. Please have faith and strength, mostly look after yourself.
Take care
Lx ❤️
Hi all,
Thank you for sharing your stories with the forum. I’m sorry to hear that your son’s behaviour is causing you so much stress.
I’m the mum of a 29yr son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. It was living hell from age 14.
A couple of years ago, I found this forum and joined the Theresa thread here. There are several mums with sons with addictions all at different stages in their addiction. Everyone is so supportive and kind and helped me when I felt I couldn’t talk to anyone. Also, the Forum homepage offers advice and support also the Icarus trust posts here too.
Thankfully my son is currently in recovery, 8 months +. Its been a long , hard battle for him and us.
He joined CA and AA groups, through his own choice (it has to be their decision) when he was ready to seek support.
I wanted you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel- but only when they are ready.
He still has his difficult days, but the fellowship are brilliant.
Please look after yourself, and let him know you love him, but hate what this addiction is doing to him and the family.
Keep in touch here
Lx
Well said Joanie!
There are families here who have lost their loved ones to this evil drug and the people who supply it.
There are no words to describe how I feel.
Sending all you families my thoughts and prayers. To the people who are addicted and people in recovery- I pray God gives you the strength to fight the evil that is addiction.
Lx