[navy]

Hi lozzy

oh my lovely, you really need to be strong for you. I know it’s hard and daunting but you have the strength and ability to look after yourself and not him.

fill your days with what you need and want to do. If he wants to Join then ok if not tough go for it yourself.

he needs to realise your not there to be his punch bag (mentally) I know it’s scary been there and done it.

my boundaries have been broken and I’m considering my next move. He has 3. Weeks to prove himself.

I believe he still using and lying to me as he still grumpy, sleeping and then hyperactive so all the same traits as before.

he says he loves me so much and is trying so hard. I believe he loves me but don’t believe that he can give up this drug. It has a massive hold on him.

as I say im giving him 4 weeks to see how he doing then. If there is a difference then great but if not I have to reconsider my next choice. My health and life deserves to be happy.
take care Lozzy and all out there.

stay true to yourselfs it’s hard but we got this .

navy xx

 

[navy]

Hello Lozzy

im so sorry to read this. You must be in turmoil. Your priority is you. You must look after yourself.

im home but it’s tough, i find it difficult to trust him. He doing tests.

You have to put up boundaries and stick to them otherwise they walk all over you. If they are using every week it’s a problem. They sleep so long and are on edge and conversations turn into argument so they have an excuse.

we don’t love them , we are nasty, we don’t understand. Bullshit.

Which is what I’m trying so much not to do I want to scream at him but I haven’t all week.

im sending my love to you and thinking of you I wish you all the best remember your strong woman and deserve better.

 

navy xx

[navy]

hi lozzy80

hope you are ok and your results were ehat you wanted.

Ive been thinking of you and praying that your OH has stepped up and been able to keep that devil away.

im still separated from my OH until he can prove to me that he can quit for good. I’ve set my boundaries and I’m not even considering going back until he is clean and can prove it to me and only then I’m taking things slowly. He had hurt me so badly but I still love him. I do hope what I’ve put in place  keeps him clean. If not then this is his last chance and I walk forever.

 

keeping you all in my thoughts & prayers to keep strong. Believe in yourself and now if this gets worse you’re allowed to leave and grieve for the loss of your husband and come out stronger the other side .

take care all

navy xxx

[navy]

Hi both

it’s so hard isn’t it. I’m currently living in my parents house having left him. My heart is broken and he makes me feel like it’s my fault. I wasn’t loving enough. I didn’t hold him and tell him all will be ok.
how can I he never with me. I work 9-5 when home he said I got therapy then too tired or emotional to see me.
Weekend became distant I tried to get him to come for a coffee a walk shopping anything but I always ended up on my own.

The last straw was he took it with him on a weekend away and I just snapped. If in therapy why are you using why did he buy it why did he feel the need to use it when with me.

i feel lost and broken and so tired. I need to look after me and my health. This is such a difficult time.

i send my love to you all here and pray that you all get stronger with time and make yourself the top priority.

take care

love Navy xx

[navy]

Hi everyone

well I’m afraid not good news for me. I’ve left him for the final time, I can’t go back and put up with this rollacoster anymore.

im currently sitting on my way to my parents whom are very supportive.

im trying to hold it together but keep letting the tears run down my face what must people think……

my heart is broken, im the one feeling guilty cant believe his behaviour yet again. I know he has used and he still not admitted he still doing it. I’m not allowed to ask how he doing or test him as it’s to much pressure!!!!  Really I thought when he doing so well he would want to shout it from the roof tops…… this is why I knew it’s something he couldn’t give up.

Hope you are all looking after yourself and putting yourself first.
this is going to be day one for me and I come first now.

 

love Navy xxx

[navy]

Hi lozzy

so sorry to here about your health, you must look after yourself , I’ve been to doctors lately because I’m not feeling right, got to have bloods done, I hate the waiting.

How are you know, hope you are coping ok and putting yourself first.
Why do we care so much, why do we put ourselves through this for someone who promises us the world and falls at the first hurdle and thinks that it’s our fault and makes us feel guilty, this is not fair. I wish we were stronger to say enough is enough, it is just so scary.

Take care sending hugs.

love Navy   Xx

 

 

[navy]

I agree with them thinking they can do it with a couple of books and online therapy once a week it’s not that easy. They need dedicated therapy everyday for at least a month and then once a week for life to keep them on track this stuff is evil and will lure them back in like a flick of a switch.

my husband is going through a tough time at the moment and I know he had used but had not opened up to me. He says he committed to giving up. Does that mean he will continue to use but not as frequently and when he does he will go back to trying again. I don’t know if I can live like that waiting wondering seeing that he had used again rowing about it feeling anxious not sleeping it’s a cycle of disasters.

i have been going through this so many times and I’m too old to keep doing this, this should be my time of life to enjoy not be worrying.

im so sad and I m in turmoil of what to do. Do I give the next 3-6 months to him and see how well he coping and then say if he still using albeit now & then to say to him enough is enough. I pray most days for him to have the strength to say no to this drug to not buy it or use it in our home.

thinking of you all xxx

[navy]

Hello everyone

I know I’m exhausted too. I’m trying so hard to help him, but I’m getting angry things that are normal to me are hard for him, he trying therapy, self help books, online apps and has been clean for a week so I’m keeping my fingers crossed

will I ever trust him again. I’m thinking of asking him to do a test for me and if he puts up a fight then I know he can’t do this if he willing then that’s another step forward.i just want these awful thoughts to get out of my head.

thanks for listening and I pray for all of us in finding peace and wellbeing in what we want to do

xx

 

[navy]

Thank you purple heart

it’s nice to hear someone tell me that’s there’s nothing wrong with me.
Im just praying this time is different and he is not lying to me it’s only been 4 -5 days and around now is when the devil appears stronger and more determined to change his thoughts and row with me so he has an excuse to use.
I’m trying the next few days to stay strong.

love to you all

xx

[navy]

Hi everyone

this is a living nightmare.

Sunday was awful, we hardly spoke to each other, but here Iam trying again, what is wrong with me. How many times do I put up with this. Most of Our friends do not know what is actually wrong with him they think is mental health issue with Covid. However they support me and are kind and caring towards me, they said it’s not my fault.

We seen each other for  dinner last night it lasted 20 mins, he was agitated, tired and needed his own space, (struggling) at least he spent a little bit of time with me, he then met me for breakfast @ the kitchen table this morning again he was tired. But he was there……He had a meeting at 11 which he didn’t make as now unwell cold, sore throat probably a has chest infection!!!!! Awful as it sounds I don’t believe him. Yes he has a cough……which is what always happens on the comedown, the same routine.always ill.

So I think it’s just the comedown affecting him.

im sending all my love to you who are going through this.

navy xx

[navy]

Hi purpleheart

so lovely to hear from you, I used to chat with you on a different thread (merry go round from hell)

im so happy to read that you have got off  the merry go round, and are now enjoying your life. It’s so hard to take that first step.
Well done.

im having a hard day, being left again on my own on a night out with friend’s thank goodness for good friends whom took me in let me stay in their house until he got home as he took my key.  I don’t think he will ever get better, the days he said he sober is lies his behaviour has got worse his Anxiety has got worse everything’s so difficult for him from waiting for a taxi that is 5 mins late turns into a row and to take the car the waiter whom forgot to bring the water is useless, the need to have any Patience is gone, I’m left to sort out bills, to ring the taxi firm, to find the waiter I’m just exhausted by it all that I don’t want to go out with him anymore.

I’ve tried I really have even tho he makes me feel that it’s all my fault. I don’t look after him when he stressed, ffs sorry

 

im feeling so sad, I’m feeling very low,  I don’t think I can do this anymore. I need to be happy and only I can do this.

take care all,

navy xx

[navy]

Hi lottier

i know it’s so hard to distinguish the truth from the lies.  He has to help with the children.make sure you get help with that before you move out

. I’m sure there’s a job out there for you, keep trying and try not to get to dis-heartened with rejection remember it’s their loss and will be someone else’s gain. Good luck.

I agree I feel like the last years have been single wife and only loving when on it.  He says he trying but I think that the drug has taken over his thoughts.

I need to get stronger and look after myself, I wish you luck and strength to get through this.

im here anytime to talk too.

navy xx

 

[navy]

Hi lozzy

You scan vent on here  anytime. It’s so sad the situation you find yourself in but well done on accepting that it’s over and you need to separate.  Keep going out and doing more things for you and your children it will get easier. Once you get your own place just think how lovely it will be in time. Those 3 years of hell the lies the secrets will be no more, Hopefully you will find a property soon and he will pay the rent and you and your children can be free.

you can have a life it will take time to adjust but you will do it as you are a strong women. Good luck

im still struggling to come to terms that the drug has won. .

I keep asking myself, why am I still here listening to this crap. I’m hurting I’m crying everyday I’m emotional wreck. Why is it so hard to walk away……… my turn to rant xx

I just want a normal simple  life, to go out for a coffee, to go for a walk. To hold each other whilst watching tv to cook together to just be in each others company. No expectations.
I’m sobbing now so going to sign off.

take care everyone wishing you strength and Happiness

navy xx

[navy]

Hi twf12373

there is support out there, is this for yourself or someone else? Have a look at the post goodby letter to my husband half way down is a support group for family.

Hope they can help you or point you in the right direction

good luck,

navy x

[navy]

Oh rosie

i know exactly what you mean, I’ve been going through this for years, we give them all the love and support and they throw it back, i said when he gets the urge to use let me know and i will keep him busy, we could go out, we could watch a movie, play cards, anything at all for this to pass also I have said no drugs in house, but that has been ignored in the past.
I have to be honest I don’t think anti-depressants work, they just mask the problem,  as he has a business does he not want to go into rehab? If when he starts NA I hope it’s not just a weekly meeting that it is a daily meeting as they need this, he needs to do the tasks, and fill out a diary of how he is feeling and every hour is a bonus, do you know what starts him off agin Stress? Argument? Feeling of no hope? As what I’ve learned the drug prays on the weekend, the reason he has become an addict.

im trying to give as much support as possible but I am drained .

Ive spent most of Christmas break on my own, the accusation that I’m having an affair or been seeing someone is awful and he says he can’t hold a conversation with at the moment, the hurtful things he says.  The in the next breath he loves me so much it hurts so why can’t he give this white stuff up for us. He really needs to improve his mental health. He has heard of the cold water therapy too.

im hoping for 2024 to be clean, healthy & happy. I wish this for you too.

let’s see how January goes. It’s make or break for me as I can’t go through this again. I’m guessing your at this stage too?

take care of yourself xx

[Author]

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