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I can agree with the above, my son had a heavy coke habit, I gave him money as I thought I was helping him. I was only helping him continue to pay dealers for drugs. Stop helping him, be hard, don’t give him cash, if he is hungry cook him a meal. I have done this and it is paying off slowly with my son. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom to come back up xx and I agree I wish I had done it sooner

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Hi so sorry to hear that you still have not heard from your son….stay strong sweetheart, you are not alone.xx

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I ended up throwing my son out, something I thought I would never do, I stopped enabling him, it is slowly working, he went down before I saw him come up. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind, be strong…all I can say is I am starting to see results. Don’t beat yourself up, my job is similar to yours, drugs can touch anyones life….x

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your son comes first, if your ex cant sort himself out around his child, then sadly he stays away. Sometimes we have to make difficult choices …….

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Hi I have been there with my son, the biggest bit of advice I can give is stop giving him cash, stop bailing him out, he needs to see the results of the route he is taking. it is not easy but I am starting to see the results. Tell him you are always there for him when he needs help to sort his self out but you will not fund his life style anymore. That is what you are doing when you give cash. Be strong good luck xx

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Hi I have been through this with my son, after years of bailing him out, I tried tough love it hurt me to do it but it has helped, stop bailing him out, stop paying his debts, stop giving him money. Feed him if you need to but don’t give cash. Hard as it is let him see what the results of his actions are. Its hard but I have seen good results, my son is not over it yet but is getting there I think. Above all let him know that although the cash has stopped you love him and will be there for him when he wants to sort his life out. It is so hard but stay strong and protect the rest of your family……good luck xx

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oh sweetheart, I can feel your pain in every word. I can imagine what you are going through, I would be totally the same. you would have done anything possible to help him, but maybe he felt he just couldn’t do it…….it is heartbreaking. I am sure he did know how much you loved him and he obviously loved you just as much because he didn’t want to put you through this hurt all the time. Can you not do something constructive to remember him, maybe by passing your message on you can help others and keep his memory alive. Stay strong, your son would hate to see how much hurt he has left you. xxxx

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I am so sad for you. There but for the grace of God go any one of us. Don’t blame yourself, drugs are to blame, no anything or anyone else xxxxx

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so sorry why do they always let us down. Not a fool, just a loving, hopeful mum., who has been disappointed….you have made big strides with him, keep going. I will email you tomorrow. Stay strong xxxxxx

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fingers crossed. love to you both, well done.. xxxx

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It makes you so tired, there is no respite. Although I worry about my boy at least now he is not here I don’t have to see it constantly. I have no doubt if he doesn’t call court to explain why he hasn’t paid fine he will eventually end up in prison. Where on earth did all this come from, he seems so hard and uncaring about everything, especially me. xx

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Good for you, it’s never easy but sometimes we have to take care of our selves. My son is almost at rock bottom. He is really abusive and angry with me because I have turned off the supply of cash from bank mum. He cannot now use car, no insurance but of course that is all my fault. Oh and he can’t get a job without a car and that is my fault. It won’t be long till finance company take it and you can bet your life that will also be my fault. Time they grew up and took some responsibility . Stay strong xx

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Your mum has not got over her grief, she is using alcohol as a crutch. See if you can get her to see a Dr, she needs some help to recover. Also try alcoholics anonymous, I believe they can offer support for family members or can point you in the right direction. You don’t say your age but have you a Nan or aunt you can speak too. Don’t struggle alone, you can always come back here. Good luck xx

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I am so sorry, you had such hopes and I followed your messages with the same hope both for you and me. How much more can we be expected to bear from our sons behaviour. Xxx

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H Alexis2, my son Is 22 years old, I pray he is over this soon. How strange that everyone has similar experiences. When my son asked me for money (for food) and I said I would buy him some rather than give money he didn’t want any hmmm strange don’t you think? when he then said he was trying to get a crisis loan for food and I queried this saying I had offered him food so maybe the money was for something else he told me to f…off and said this was the reason he hated me.
Why because I can see through what he is doing. Yes I worry that he could hurt himself but what can I do?? I hope and pray that there is a good end to all this soon, and some people I am in touch with are seeing good results from tough love, so with this in mind I continue on, doing what I am hopefully for his long term benefit. Stay strong Alexis2 its all we can do xxxx

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