[sarahg]

Hi I joined this site a few years back when I was struggling with my son. I’m going through the exact situation as you and things just seem to be getting worse. My son is an alcoholic, cocaine addict also has serious gambling problems they also seem to go hand in hand. He was 17 when we first realised he had a problem smoking weed and getting drunk and staying out all weekend, then he moved onto cocaine and has done ketamine and god knows what else. My husband and I have a daughter who is the complete opposite went to uni, gotta good job, bought a house with her boyfriend, my son the complete opposite he was a shy boy, but got into football and had a good group of friends until they all tried drugs and he was the one who got addicted. We have thrown him out, he was living in his car till it packed up, moved into a drugs den, unable to hold down a job, shoplifting to survive you just couldn’t make it up. He was in hospital got seen by the mental health team, went to turning point, but still continued to use . He has lied and manipulated us so many times and we fall for it every time. We had him back with us to live us on and off for the last few years but can only go a week or two without using. I am so heartbroken, and my mental health is through the roof, I’ve never cried over anyone so much. To top everything off we found out he got this girl he was seeing for a few months pregnant and is expecting his daughter, we all thought he would change but nope, she has just thrown him out, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I completely understand what you are going through there just seems no way out. Sorry for the rant!

[sarahg]

You are not alone, my husband and I are in exactly the same situation as you with our 22 year old son. I too dread the weekends as soon as he finishes work on a Friday he disappears then until Sunday or Monday, comes back with black eyes etc and full of lies. We have tried everything to help him and he does admit he has an addiction to cocaine but wants to do nothing about it. He just blames everything and everybody. We have had a security camera installed and as soon as my husband and I went away for the weekend there were drug dealers at our door dropping of cocaine at all hours through the night. It is causing so much hurt for us we are at the end of tether with him and don’t know what else to do. I totally understand how you feel, we have thrown him out and he lived in his car for 2 months then came begging to come home so we let him as it was so hard wondering if he was alive everyday, and we thought at least if he is with us we can keep an eye on him and if anything happened to him we would blame ourselves for making him homeless, it’s just such a hard situation on what to do for the best!

[sarahg]

My son has been threatened a couple of times, once a dealer put on social media asking where he lived and if he didn’t pay up he was coming round the house so my husband drove him round to the dealers to give him the money, also we have had a dealer wait at the bottom of our road, so I had to give his ex girlfriend the money to go and pay them as my son was at work and messaged us. That was over a year ago but we threw out nearly 3 weeks ago and have not heard a thing from him he is up to his neck in it with dealers but is staying with a friend and his dad and brother, but like you I am sick with worry what is going to happen to him and to our home we just don’t know what to do.

Sx

[sarahg]

Hi

I’m in the same situation as you with our 21 year old son we have put up with it for over 2 years now. He ran up huge amounts of debt from gambling to pay off the dealers through credit cards, loans and overdrafts. My husband and I have paid them off numerous times with promises he will never do it again but the same thing happens. 3 weeks ago after lots of threats we told him to leave after blowing his wages on cocaine, waking up Monday morning with no petrol etc to get to work. He left and went to a friends house who also does cocaine, we have not heard from him since. My son has threatened suicide usually on the come down from the coke realising he has blown a lot of money. My husband and I are worried sick that dealers will come after him as he owes them a lot of money, but this was the final straw we are hoping and praying that he sees sense and seeks help before it’s too late, only he can do this. They will just lying to feed their habit and you will be forever bailing them out.

It’s so hard as we love them so much, I totally understand what you are going through, it’s heartbreaking.

Take care

S x

[sarahg]

Hi Deborah

I’m in the same position as you a 21 year old son with a cocaine addiction, we have just kicked out after 2 years of lying, stealing and running up huge amounts of debts to scumbag dealers. I like you know the names of a lot of the dealers mostly the same age as my son and through looking at his bank account the same names on transfers for cocaine, makes me feel sick!

I like you feel like reporting them all but worry if the comebacks would be on my son. I would imagine they need to build up a lot of evidence to do anything to catch them as it costs a lot of money and resources to convict them unless they are big time dealers.

Sx

[sarahg]

Hi Lindy

Thank you so much for your comforting reply, how on earth have you coped for 10 years, my heart goes out to you but so glad your son is on the long road to recovery it’s good to hear a positive story, it gives me hope. My son has said the same thing a few drinks then he gets the craving for the cocaine and like you say the scumbag dealers give it to him on tic and he ends up owing them hundreds of pounds. Hope you don’t my me asking but does your son live with you? I don’t know if it’s better having him at home where we can keep on eye him and I know he has a food and a roof over his head or let him stay with friends where I hope he will reach rock bottom and realises he needs help and come home it’s hard to know what to do for the best, either way you still worry and it’s down to him to admit he has a problem and needs help.

Sarah x

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