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I am so sorry to hear once again he is putting you through hell, I really hope he will get intouch with you. Its like your trapped because you have to try and be normal for the kids but inside the pain is unbearable just like a knife been twisted over and over again. Why is it they think its ok to act like this.

I have noticed that over the past year I have started having panic attacks and really bad anxiety which I have never suffered with before I class myself to be quite a happy person generally, this is the only place where I can actually speak my mind and let it all out due to where I work I am unable to seek professional help because I am embarrassed that people will find out the truth but I have got used to that.

just thankful for this website.

please keep intouch I hope he’s ok and gets the professional help he needs. Heroin is the devil in disguise.

Take care x

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Hi can I just say first of all how amazing you are.

I personally think enough is enough you have done everything you can for her and been there for her through thick and thin. I know it must be really difficult for you but its time for your daughter to stand on her own two feet she knows exactly what she is doing and how to pull on your heart strings thats just what addicts do. Its time for change you need to think about yourself for a change and your other family members and step back. She will know you will be worried about her and no one can say you have’nt tried your best for your child but there is only so much you can do. I think its time she got herself sorted out without your help, you have done enough.

I really wish you well. Take care xx

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I also have bought some drug testing kits just incase I have any doubts. Do you know what its crazy how even though they do all this to us and break our hearts we still protect them I suppose really when you think about it these men are our addiction and yes they are spiteful and only ever see what they are going through and how hard things are for them and it drives me insane, I feel like a robot constantly on auto pilot looking after kids on my own, lying to my daughter saying he is working away when really he has’nt lived with me for a year because of this stupid drug. I saw it as we were not enough and he said its nothing like that but its hard to believe when your so down trodden comparing yourself to a powder. The last couple of weeks have’nt been easy hes trying to deal with all these suppressed emotions and anger seems to be the main one hes struggling with his mouth can be very vicious sometimes and to be honest I dont think I can take anymore I have been through enough everytime its like a knife in the heart. I know this sounds daft but if I had a magic wand I would’nt wish for money like most people would, I would wish that he never took this drug and was just normal or even better that it did’nt exist at all. I hate it its ruined my life and my little family. I am so glad he got intouch with you but I doubt he can do this without help he really needs professional help to get rid once and for all. My partner will soon be going on to a drug called natrexone (I think) and its a complete blocker so if he tries to use it will basically kill him, brutal but gives me piece of mind that sounds really bad I know but at least its the end of it all. I just wanted you to know that your not alone and I really wish you all the best and hope he will sort hiself out for you and his family. Please keep intouch and let me know how your doing and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your daughter for 12 days time xx

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Hi, after reading your post I can really relate to how you are feeling because I too have come 2nd best to this horrid drug although my partner smoked it still does’nt make it hurt any less. I too have two children who have not got a clue about there daddy’s addiction none of my family know about it either so in a morning when I get up I put my make up on and wear it as a mask to face the day when all I want to do is break down. My partner has never been violent towards me let me make that clear but the mental torture is just as bad the pawning of my jewellery which always meant alot because he was the one who bought it me the debt and the never ending heartache of loving someone who loves something else more. My partner has just done a 2 week stint in rehab and is currently clean but the fear that he will give up is even worse I have dedicated 18yrs of my life to this man and all I have got is heartache and dissapointment ( and my beautiful children but that goes without saying). I am giving him this one last chance and if he fails he wallks out of mine and our childrens life for good no matter how much it will destroy me I cannot live like this any more. My fear is though that he will be ok for the next few years and then let me down again he is all I have ever known and I would be probably be damaged goods to anyone else I feel why do we love these men. I want someone who will fight for me and love me the way I love him. The addiction to this drug has horrid consequences for the families after all we dont get a choice. I hope everything works out for you and just know you are not alone xx

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My heart goes out to you. Sorry no advice but wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I hope your dad gets well soon too. You deserve better just like me, but you cannot help who you fall in love with and love is the worst addiction of all.

I hope someone on here can help you x

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Its really difficult but I have always said that if my daughter was in my position I would tell her to run a mile, after all my heartache I would never want her to feel the way I do down trodden and trapped by love corney I know but true. I am only in my early 30’s and feel more like 90 thats how bad it is and by the sounds of things hes already digging his claws in. Drug addiction takes over every part of a relationship and the real victim will be your daughter for putting up with it. Tell her to run and don’t look back.

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Reading your post made me cry the hurt in your words is just unimaginable. I am so sorry for your loss try and keep strong.

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Its not your fault. Addicts are selfish and know exactly how to pull on your heart strings. Sometimes you have to step back and think about yourself for a change and you should’nt feel guilty for that.
I feel that we are the victims in all of this at least they had a choice in the begining we don’t get that opportunity, we are just the people who have to pick up the pieces time and time again. I hope your son will one day realise how lucky he is to have you as his mum.xx

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