[Truly_Tired]

Both, you have taken a magnificent step by sharing here. The journey ahead will be tough so reach out for encouragement as often as you need. Mother’s Day is every day so every step closer to kicking your addiction should be celebrated and your prize will be seeing your children and possibly grandchildren grow up. Sending hugs and hope to you both. I have two adult sons with addictions and never give up hope for them. X

[Truly_Tired]

Sorry to read this and understand how helpless you feel.  My sons both have addictions and I’ve learnt that it doesn’t really matter what the addiction is as they all result in much the same way – albeit some might be illegal. There is help available to all but each individual has to make a conscious decision to stop. Even when they do this the road ahead is long, bumpy and sometimes goes back to the start. As a mother I cannot give up on my sons but you can decide, if you need to, to walk away. I’m not encouraging you to do that but reminding you that you can. Try to see/speak to someone and always remember addictions are serious illnesses and our loved ones do make choices but these are normally to self-medicate for trauma so they need understanding, love and support whether we stay near or far. Take care of yourself.

[Truly_Tired]

I hope you have sourced some help and I understand that you’ve had enough. I am seeing a counsellor now, who allows me to vent. I don’t know if it helps or not but it’s time for me. Please try to get someone to talk to as our burdens are much heavier than we realise and we deserve our lives however much we love our children. X

[Truly_Tired]

So, so hard not to get sucked in. We are programmed to care and fix where we can and I can’t help but be hopeful each time. Your boy is ten years younger so maybe life might provide a change in direction? I hope so. My lad is 36 now and it feels like the chances of him making life-changing decisions gets harder as each year and attempt to change passes. Thank you for solidarity – it means a lot. It is a lonely road when you see others around you enjoying their offspring’s successes and not having to deal with an uncertain future. Take care and do keep in touch x

[Truly_Tired]

Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry you are suffering too. It is an emotional rollercoaster with no end to the ride. I realise now how important it is to look after yourself. This doesn’t mean giving up on our loved ones but protecting ourselves so we can be there in appropriate measures. I’m seeing a counsellor who allows me to spill out every few weeks so I hope you can find a way to access similar for yourself. Do keep in touch x

[Truly_Tired]

Gosh! I can relate to your story. My eldest son, 36, is a heroin/crack addict and is homeless in London. He has made several attempts to get off the drugs and alcohol but after 100+ days he relapses. I have been like you trying my utmost to help him and feel helpless, tired, sad and at a loss.  My younger son is a gambling addict and he continues to risk so much for his addiction – family, job and friends. Reading the posts on this site helps me to understand just how hard it is to break an addiction. Their brains change so unlike us they cannot make rational decisions or if they do they can’t stick with them. I don’t think any addicts really fully recover although some are able to manage their habits better or replace them with healthier habits. I wish I could offer you something that has worked but so far I haven’t found anything. The lies and feeling betrayed is very painful but like me you are a mother and a mother’s love sees no boundary and means it’s so hard to let go. I will always have hope and maybe one day I will be able to look back on this. Xx

[Author]

Posts