Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi Stevie, welcome to the group.
Your words will ring true with all of us here, we’ve all been there.
I agree it’s difficult to switch off, my son is currently clean but out of habit , I’m still looking over my shoulder!
My son had several relapses, 3 months was his longest until a broken relationship triggered it. This is his longest spell clean, I hope and pray that he manages to stay strong. He continues his daily meetings and meditation and keeps busy with diy in his flat.
The AA/CA fellowship have been brilliant, so supportive.
Take care of yourself and other family too Stevie.
Lx
Hi Debc
My son is still doing well thankfully, 5 months clean and I thank God for that. Its a weight of our shoulders, as we feel we can relax a bit.
My son has to totally abstain from alcohol or he’ll relapse. He has no off switch. Thankfully pubs shut due to lockdown, it helps as this can trigger him.
Lockdown means he’s not met anyone yet. He’s been very unlucky with his past girlfriends. The fellowship have said he has to love himself before he can love another. So I think he’s still focused on his own health and well-being fortunately to think about women just yet.
Your son has been informed enough to know what he should and shouldn’t be doing. Maybe he has better control now? Whatever happens don’t beat yourself up about it, you’re a brilliant caring mum and gran ❤ Give yourself some credit for that.
Time to take care of you, rules will be relaxing soon, be kind to yourself.
Thinking of us all and our boys, this Mother’s Day.
Lx
Hi Jem
I’ve been thinking and wondering how everyone is doing. What a worry for you and the family.
I’m not sure what you could do in this situation to be honest. Perhaps the Icarus trust could maybe advise you?
I just wanted you to know that we’re all here for each other and help and support where we can.
This lockdown situation is compounding matters too for a lot of people. I guess normally there would be face to face meetings set up. Are you able to sit and talk to him? Does he realise how his behaviour is affecting the family?
I do hope you’re managing to take care of your own health and well-being. Although I know it’s difficult to concentrate on yourself when you’re worried about your son.
You sound like such a strong woman, you are always so supportive to others. I really hope that you get support and advice for your situation.
Thinking and praying for us all, and sending hugs
Lx
Hi Jem
I’ve been thinking and wondering how everyone is doing. What a worry for you and the family.
I’m not sure what you could do in this situation to be honest. Perhaps the Icarus trust could maybe advise you?
I just wanted you to know that we’re all here for each other and help and support where we can.
This lockdown situation is compounding matters too for a lot of people. I guess normally there would be face to face meetings set up. Are you able to sit and talk to him? Does he realise how his behaviour is affecting the family?
I do hope you’re managing to take care of your own health and well-being. Although I know it’s difficult to concentrate on yourself when you’re worried about your son.
You sound like such a strong woman, you are always so supportive to others. I really hope that you get support and advice for your situation.
Thinking and praying for us all, and sending hugs
Lx
Hi riley123,
Welcome to the forum, everyone here is affected by addiction, whether it’s a loved one or people with addictions, and people in recovery offering help and support.
No need to feel alone or “where did we go wrong ” so many similar stories here. In fact , my story is almost word for word to yours.
If you click onto Share yourStory,
and then , “Theresa ” thread there are several of us mums with sons who have addictions. We are all in the same boat, but at least we can all relate to each other’s stories and offer help and support.
My son is 28 has alcohol and cocaine addictions, made our lives a living hell for 10 years. Reached out to us, (it has to be their decision) joined AA and CA meetings. Long story short, hes currently 5 months clean and doing well. Thank God.
Please look after yourself and others, don’t let this addiction consume you, like it does them.
I wanted you to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Stay strong, sending you my best wishes
Lx
Hi Daryl, welcome to the form. Everyone here on this forum is or has been affected by addictions .
You have taken the first step by admitting that you have a problem with cocaine and are seeking help and support to stop.
Read the other threads here, particularly Danman83, he is currently 2months clean and is offering great advice and support.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, we’ve had several years of hell with it. Thankfully he admitted he needed help and support. He joined AA and CA meetings, got a sponsor met others who support him . Its been hard for him but well worth it in the end. He’s 5 months clean.
Please be strong have faith, you can get through this. Confide in a close friend, stay away from people who could influence you, delete scumbag dealers off your phone. Stay off social media..
Stay in touch here
Take care
Lx
Hi Georgie, welcome to the forum.
I’m glad you reached out to this forum. So many of us here who have loved ones with addictions, or people in recovery giving advice. Some are trying fight their addiction and seek support.
The adfam homepage offer advice and support also the Icarus trust posts here too .
Read the other threads, particularly the Theresa thread (click onto share your story). There are several of us mums sharing stories, and offering advice and support for our sons. Even if you just need to vent to someone who will understand. It’s difficult when you can’t talk to friends or families about addiction and how it’s affecting your family.
Please look after yourself, its hard to try to help someone who’s not yet ready to be helped. Until that day, take care of yourself and stay strong.
My son is 28, has alcohol and cocaine addictions, put us through hell for about 10yrs. He is nearly5 months clean thankfully, He got support from AA, CA and Narcotics Anonymous . I want you to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Take care
Lx
Hi James, welcome to the forum, Everyone here is or has been affected by addictions of some sort.
You’re being really hard on yourself i think. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your loved ones. It’s hard enough to deal with that, let alone dealing with addiction too.
The fact that you feel guilty and know it’s ruining your chance of happiness, that’s a good start.
You’re only 29, you can turn your life around, read Danman83 posts. He’s doing so well, clean for over 2 months, doing CA meetings, doing the 12 step program, getting help from his sponsor and the fellowship guys.
He has good advice and support to offer.
My son is 28, he is almost 5 months clean from alcohol and cocaine. He is well paid but was ruining his life, running up debt, looking like s**t. He treated us very badly, disrespectful, aggressive etc, he was close to losing his job, his flat, everything. He got to the stage You’re at now and reached out for support.
Don’t just do it for your family, do it for you, it begins and ends with you!
Please seek the help and support you need , you don’t want to lose everything. It will be hard at first, but so worth it in the end.
Your parents wouldn’t want to see you tormented like this .
Read the other threads, particularly Danman83, contact CA join the meetings.
It’s not too late.
Take care, be strong
Lx
Catsmum, you’ve also had a terrible time of it. I’m glad you’ve joined the thread at least there’s always someone who’ll reply and support you.
Please look after yourself too.
Thinking and praying for us all here.
Lx
Hi Bump, I’m so sorry to read about your son in hospital.
It’s so sad that it’s the only time you feel you can switch off a bit.
I hope he gets the medical and emotional support he needs there.
I agree our country is so behind other countries where addiction is involved. Scotland has one of the worst records of drink and drug related illnesses i believe. Apparently there’s going to be more support to help combat it.
Our lads have sadly, been overlooked as most of these addictions as you say are down to mental health issues. Too much waiting, too many excuses, too much time being wasted talking about it. Hopefully, in our lifetime they’ll all get the help and support they so desperately need.
We as parents, can only be there to pick up the pieces when they’re broken.
Take care of you ❤
Sending hugs
Lx
It really does affect the whole family. My daughter ( younger than son) was really traumatised when it was at it’s worst.
It was like being exposed to some dark underworld that we didn’t know existed.
She saw us upset and stressed a lot, while she was trying to study.
It must have been awful for her, I know it was for us.
Part of the 12 steps program is to say sorry to those you’ve hurt, and to make amends. He did that.
We can all hopefully forgive and forget and move on with our lives now .
Let’s start to be good to ourselves and start putting ourselves and others first. No point in making ourselves ill with worry.
Take care all.
Lx
It really does affect the whole family. My daughter ( younger than son) was really traumatised when it was at it’s worst.
It was like being exposed to some dark underworld that we didn’t know existed.
She saw us upset and stressed a lot, while she was trying to study.
It must have been awful for her, I know it was for us.
Part of the 12 steps program is to say sorry to those you’ve hurt, and to make amends. He did that.
We can all hopefully forgive and forget and move on with our lives now .
Let’s start to be good to ourselves and start putting ourselves and others first. No point in making ourselves ill with worry.
Take care all.
Lx
Hi Catsmum
I usually post on the Theresa thread, but I like to support others in same situation.
It’s a nightmare, I know, I’ve been there too. Pleased don’t feel alone in this.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions. They go hand in hand generally, my son is currently over 4 Months into recovery thankfully. He has to abstain completely from alcohol.
We also had to bail my son out several times, costing thousands. We had to say ‘no more,’ he was ready to seek help by then. He joined CA and AA meetings, did the 12 step program with his sponsor. It wasn’t easy for him, especially the early weeks. But as he was making the effort – so were we.
I wanted you to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. My son still has off days, but he keeps busy, does daily meetings and meditation. Also does podcasts and has the fellowship guys to support him.
I believe the Icarus trust offers advice and support too. Please find time to look after yourself and your well being.
Take care ❤
Lx
Hi jtekg4
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing a loved one is difficult enough without addiction being involved.
Please don’t feel guilty. A person who has addictions will always blame everyone else for their problems. Im sure your husband is at peace now, but I feel sad for the suffering and debt that’s been left for you.
I feel you need advice and support, either from the Icarus trust, or a bereavement group.
In the meantime you and the family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Take good care of yourself ❤
Lx
That’s good February Marie!
Stay strong, remember we are here for each other.
Lx